The Positively True Story Of The Rightwing PA 'Parental Rights' Activist Minor-Corrupting-And-Punching Mom!
She's a cool mom, not like the other moms!
Pennsylvania mother Clarice Schillinger knows how to party, although she may be doing it in jail if recent police reports of her daughter’s 17th birthday party are accurate. Schillinger is alleged to have hosted a rager that makes a Palin family get-together look like Disney on Ice.
LONG LONG AGO!
Schillinger, a former Republican candidate for Pennsylvania lieutenant governor, was also the executive director of Back to School USA, a PAC, which spent more than $800,000 to fight “liberal teachers’ unions and special interest groups that are responsible for indoctrinating our children” into “the woke education establishment” to achieve a “new Godless global society.”
On Monday, she was held over for trial (the PA version of an indictment) on charges of assault, harassment, and furnishing minors with alcohol after teenagers described a drunken melee, wherein kids were locked in the house, plied with shots until they puked, and even got beaten up by the birthday girl’s grandma and Schillinger’s boyfriend.
BEFORE!
The fun started on September 29 when Schillinger welcomed about 20 teens for the celebration. In a group chat with the teens before the party, Schillinger told them that they could bring alcohol. As one … does?
“You didn’t have to ask,” one girl testified, telling the magistrate judge that it was “common knowledge” that you could drink at Mama Schillinger’s house.
The festivities began with the adults drinking and playing cards upstairs, leaving the teenagers in the basement to help themselves to a bar stocked with Malibu rum and New Amsterdam vodka (mix them together and you wind up in Topeka with a wicked hangover). At some point, the adults decided to join the teenagers for beer pong — reportedly played with vodka — and shots. Probably to make sure they weren’t indoctrinating themselves into wokeness alone in the basement!
One kid testified that Schillinger was pouring them vodka and took “five to eight” shots herself, then lounged awkwardly on an 18-year-old boy’s lap in a bean bag chair, telling him, “you’re my favorite."
After the teen extracted himself with an excuse to use the bathroom, things started to get considerably less cozy. A 16-year-old boy testified that he returned from attending to his vomiting girlfriend to find Schillinger and her boyfriend Shan Wilson arguing. When the teen attempted to intervene, Wilson grabbed him by the neck and slammed him into the wall, and then at some point Wilson also punched a 15-year-old in the face over an argument about football. Go Eagles!
The understandably freaked-out group of kids tried to leave, which one of the boys testified “started a whole confrontation.” In the kitchen, the birthday girl’s granny allegedly hit one child and punched another 16-year-old boy in the eye, and then chased the kid around the kitchen island, much to the amusement of the guests who naturally recorded the scuffle on their phones. Eventually the guests made their way to the foyer, where Schillinger lunged towards a partygoer, grabbing him by the shirt and punching him in the face while shouting, “my only thing I asked is that nobody leave the house!”
Nothing makes people want to stay at a party like being locked in a terrifying murder basement by the host.
The kids eventually made their escape at some point after 3 a.m. on the Sept. 30, only to have a totally uncool parent call the police when their child rolled home drunk and bruised.
And it’s not Schillinger’s first brush with the law. Police were called to the house three times previously, including just the weekend before for reports of drunken teens on the lawn. Prior to her political career, Schillinger (nee Latham) was arrested for DUI twice in the 2000s, which sounds like decades of serious alcohol problems and is terribly sad, but also maybe perhaps a sign that a person is not qualified to tell others how to raise their children.
As she was previously attempting to do along with her Moms For Liberty galpals, like so:
Schillinger, 36, rose to prominence amid a burgeoning conservative movement opposed to pandemic safety measures, which has since shifted to accusing the public education system of indoctrinating students with liberal ideals.
She was tapped by Bucks County venture capitalist Paul Martino in 2021 to lead a political action committee, Back to School PA, that poured more than $500,000 of Martino’s money into school board races. While the PAC billed itself as bipartisan, most candidates who received its donations were Republicans, at a time when conservatives were marshaling opposition to public schools over so-called critical race theory.
Granny Bert and the boyfriend pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in December, and Schillinger’s formal arraignment is scheduled for March 1. Presumably her political career will take off now after this impressive display of family values.
Oh wait, no, that’s right: The non-Moms For Liberty residents of Bucks County, Pennsylvania, are entirely sick of their shit.
PREVIOUSLY!
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I hate that this horrible thing happened (I mean the violence sure, but OMG that bit about her dropping herself into some teenager's lap --CREEPY!) but it makes such an awkwardly funny story. Thank you for telling it Marcie Jones and Neurotic Dog.
Hey, also too, Hi Marcie!