The Return Of The Coup D'é Twits
It's your first 2024 Sunday show rundown!
The year 2024 is already exhausting, and the Sunday shows did nothing to alleviate this dread.
Broken Speaker
Former Philadelphia 76ers GM Sam Hinkie once coined a term to describe his seemingly odd decisions: “Trust the process.” But if you’re an NBA fan or watched the show “Hacks” on HBO MAX, you know that this poetic sounding euphemism hasn’t actually yielded results.
House Speaker Mike Johnson is the embodiment of that mantra.
Appearing on CBS’ “Face The Nation” with host Margaret Brennan, Johnson showed what a shameless yet ineffective partisan he is.
After whingeing about immigration and the lack of help from the Biden administration, Johnson was confronted with a slight flaw in his strategy: Republicans have refused immigration funding unless it’s tied to the cruel, xenophobic “policies” they want but Johnson fails to see how this action actually curtails what Republicans want.
BRENNAN: But you couldn’t even go through the deportations that you would like to see happen without the funding to actually have the process function. […] I mean, ICE has the capacity to hold 40,000 beds. That’s not nearly matching what you’re describing.
Brennan further highlighted how the House Republicans’ partisan rhetoric makes it impossible to achieve their stated goals.
BRENNAN: So don’t you need the help of the Homeland Security Secretary, instead of trying to impeach him? […] But why focus the congressional resources on going ahead with an impeachment, when they could be dealing with the actual issues here on the ground? […] You’re going to impeach the guy you need to negotiate with.
Johnson then accused HSA Secretary Alexander Mayorkas of being a bad faith negotiator and lying under oath, but when pressed gave a flimsy answer even Brennan noted.
BRENNAN: About what?
JOHNSON: He’s stood in front of my committee on multiple occasions and insisted that the border is closed and secure, when everyone in America knows it’s not true.
BRENNAN: Well, that’s…that’s a semantic argument. You know that because …
JOHNSON: That’…that’s a matter of objective fact and he has lied to Congress repeatedly.
BRENNAN: Well, it is a matter of semantics in terms of people being apprehended as you know coming here and once they’re apprehended, then say they want to claim asylum.
It can’t be an “open border” while people are being detained, apprehended and going through official ports of entry! It’s not Schrödinger’s Border, Mikey. That’s literally a semantic/subjective argument.
What is less subjective is presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump using Nazi-style rhetoric about immigrants “poisoning the blood of our country.” But when asked about it, Johnson acted like a country mouse.
JOHNSON: That — that’s not language I would use, but — but I understand the urgency […]
BRENNAN: But that statement goes beyond what you are personally comfortable with?
JOHNSON: It’s – it’s not language I would use, but — but I understand that it comes from…
BRENNAN: Because it sounds hateful.
JOHNSON: Well, it’s – it’s not hateful […] Trump is — is trying to advance is his “America First” priority. […] And that is our own border. And so that’s frustrating to him.
BRENNAN: But you can say that without talking about blood and purity.
Johnson was also asked about his 2020 election denialism, and without Rep. Virginia Foxx as “muscle,” he was forced to answer. Truthfully, however, was not an option he chose.
JOHNSON: This is water under the bridge. I mean, when — when the Supreme Court passed on the Texas litigation and did not address the issue, I believe in the rule of law. This is our system. We move forward. […]
The Supreme Court passed on Texas’ bogus litigation on December 11th, 2020. Mike Johnson went on to continue arguing about election fraud and voted against certification hours after the Capitol attack on January 6th, 2021.
Johnson is the perfect embodiment of “banality of evil.” He smiles and uses a kind tone while bursting with hate and deceit out of every cell of his body.
‘The Apprentice’ Reboot Contestant
Speaking of deceitful liars, NBC’s “Meet The Press” had on Republican House Conference Chair Elise Stefanik.
The person who once fooled enough of the political media that even they noted it all too-late (really should have listened to Wonkette’s axiom about this):
Stefanik appeared to audition for the role of “Mike Pence without the one right decision.”
When asked about January 6 after host Kristen Welker played footage of Stefanik calling for Capitol rioters to be “prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law,” Stefanik parroted Trump’s description of the insurrectionists now.
STEFANIK: I have concerns about the treatment of January 6 hostages. I have concerns – we have a role in Congress of oversight over our treatments of prisoners. […]
Insurrectionists are not hostages or political prisoners. They are convicted felons meeting the consequences of their actions. Republicans’ objection is that, despite their best efforts, they can’t pass off Nine Line shirt-wearing “I almost joined” racist pogues and conservative Stanley Cup sipping suburban moms as BLM or ANTIFA. Stefanik tried to pivot to how there are “two systems of justice” for President Biden versus Donald Trump, but Welker deflated that argument.
STEFANIK: […] If your last name is Clinton or it's Biden, you get to live by a different set of rules than if you're an everyday, patriotic American. […]
WELKER: The Justice Department has indicted a number of top-name Democrats, as well, including the president’s son, twice. So, I mean, a lot of critics would argue that undercuts your argument there are two systems of justice.
Stefanik was also, in light of her new position on January 6, asked if she would certify the results of the 2024 and her response was not reassuring.
STEFANIK: We will see if this is a legal and valid election. […]
If this sounds familiar, it should. It is precisely the mentality that eventually led to January 6, 2021 when Trump couldn’t accept he lost.
So, 2024, you’re ALREADY on my shit list.
Have a week.
Follow Michael Mora on Bluesky and Threads. (If you are still on Twitter, I’m also HERE)
Shall I remind y'all of my Time I Met Eartha Kitt?
She was a hero of mine (I suppose that can continue--she IS a hero of mine).
We were going to NYC and a friend of a friend was someone like her booking manager or something. Anyway, she was playing at the Carlysle (I believe was the hotel), and we scored THE table ON THE LITTLE STAGE--so just about 8x10 feet, a little table for 2, and an entire show with Eartha Kitt.
The whole show she directed at us, and the two of us had a theater background and interacted back with her. The guy I was with had never heard of her (?) but still did a good job playing the doofy rube that she could make fun of gently, and I took on the "role" of world weary and sympathetic gal pal with Eartha.
After the amazing show was over, my date and I went to the bar, and we noticed soon that she arrived with about 4 men and sat in a booth. I debated because I'd been warned that she was "testy" and not maybe a nice person--or at least that she did not enjoy being bothered--but I thought, when will I ever have this chance?
So I walk up, and everyone in the booth turns to stare at me.
"Miss Kitt, I am terribly sorry to interrupt, but my name is (______________) and I've read your books and about your life, and I have all your albums and I needed to say that you...inspire me". At this point I was tearing up.
*silence*
And then she stared into my eyes.
"My darling, you have the most marvelous, expressive face. No--it is YOU who inspire ME!"
I squeaked something, started crying, maybe curtsied, and ran back to my table.
"JOHNSON: It’s – it’s not language I would use, but — but I understand that it comes from…"
NAZIS. That's where it comes from. Have the MAGAts eaten your brain?