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Lawyers, Guns 'n' Money's avatar

(Not to mention the fact that there’s also that whole other MAGA civil war going on between Mike Johnson and the female Republicans who didn’t previously realize that his deeply held religious beliefs prevent him from taking them and their “spaghetti and meatballs brains” seriously.)

Mike Johnson's wife not only nodded along to comments like this, but chimed in to say how men can compartmentalize because they have waffle brains, whereas women's brains are smooth with no waffle compartments.

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Pixeloid's avatar
4hEdited

Dig a pit with a giant cage, with a big pile of weapons in the center. Then put all of these shitbags in there and let them work it out. At the end, the winner won’t matter because we’ll just bury the cage.

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Timothy M Dwyer's avatar

Whaat really bothers me about this Tim Poole feller, and I mean really bothers me, is as follows:

1. My name is also tim - and I’ve been known to play, pocket pool

2. I have a dark beanie just like this other ‘Tim “

3. I also have an identical flannel shirt just like this other “Tim”

4. I’ve been known to refer to Ms. Owens as a CEE U NEXT TUESDAY!

5. I just checked my closet, and my beanie & flannel shirt are missing and so’s my pocket

pool stick

Just WTF is going on here? If I wake up ‘in a compound in West Verginnie….. never mind. I can’t even spell West Virginee

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Nancy Naive's avatar

Considering the self-loathing nature of these, uh,… people maybe, the X in the diagonal can be replaced with 💩

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John Robinson's avatar

The spreadsheet. The spreadsheet!

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mfp-6s,7s,9s's avatar

khaa-RYST, these people 🙄

so stupid, petty, and exhausting....

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John Thorstensen's avatar

More appropriate than ever -- the familiar classic Ken Watanabe "Let them fight" gif.

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Bleedy Hart's avatar

Robyn, that spreadsheet nearly killed me. 😂😵 You are fucking fabulous.

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Lisa's avatar

I'm not sure about myself now, since I've heard of ALL the cretins on the spreadsheet:(

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I guess we have to give Tucker Carlson some sort of unenthusiastic kudo for not feuding or being close-to-feuding with Tucker Carlson along with everyone else in that spreadsheet. It shows restraint.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Robyn. In a just world, I would not know of any of these trolls. Then again, in a just world, you'd be a star on Broadway.

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boo radley's avatar

I knew it. I knew nobody liked Tim Pool.

Even Tucker Carlson, the smarmy caricature of a dumbass rich white boy was born on third and thinks he hit a triple, and Nick Fuentes, the attention-seeking edgelord little brother who can't decide if he wants to annoy you more or genocide you more, have more charm and talent. And that bar is in Hell.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Imagine being these people. Like all the time.

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Fender Deluxe's avatar

It's really hilarious to realize that this right-wing nincompoop (read: fascist) is complaining that he needs to have security to ensure that he is not attacked by other right-wing nincompoops (read: fascists). The rest of us can sit on the sidelines, eating popcorn and watching the Battle Royale.

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Sallyfemina's avatar

You love to see it. (Let them fight GIF)

Or at least hear about it secondhand from Wonkette, which is much less painful and funnier.

Is CanDeath still saying Covid is a hoax and the shots will kill you? I too hate agreeing with her on this one thing.

My opinion of many of these grifters is "Oh, look, they think being one of the 'good ones' will save them. How cute."

The spreadsheet is very helpful.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

I see Milo is still on the ex-gay grift train. I guess he realizes the conservative gay who defends statutory rape grift train isn’t coming back.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

They do seem to be a lot more forgiving of sexual transgressions if you publicly proclaim an attraction toward vaginas.

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Goonemeritus's avatar

How do we know Uri Geller isn't actually a French assassin totally committed to murdering Candis with a bent spoon?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

We don't. And that's the problem.

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Birb-General of the US's avatar

Awesome article and hilarious spreadsheet.

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