The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah 'Reads' Hunger Games, The Story Of Her Life Also Too!

Dec 09, 2014

The fun part about Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games trilogy is that it's a lot like the Bible, and not just because they're both about Christ figures or whatever. Like the Bible, the message of the Hunger Games is basically what the reader wants it to be.

For lefties like Donald Sutherland, who plays the Hunger Games ' big bad guy in the movies, the books are clearly a call to proletarian revolution . For the fedora-wearing friendzone-dwellers of Reason , Collins' books are obviously about how being a libertarian is awesome. This ground is well-trodden, but that's never stopped Sarah Palin from puttin' on her rhetorical stompin' boots before, and it won't stop her now.

See, Sarah thinks the Hunger Games trilogy carries a different message. We'll give you two guesses what that message may be.

I love the books, first, because the character of Katniss Everdeen, with her bow-hunting abilities — that was very cool. Also, because the larger political narrative, though, was really intriguing. I find it very interesting that these books have tapped into our collective fears about a powerful, tyrannical central government — The Capitol — that exploits the resources of the remote districts, remember in the stories, and it oppresses the districts. It oppresses the people. And, of course, the most precious resource of any community is its children.

Here we pause to remind Governor Quitterface that the most precious resource in Alaska is still oil, followed closely by crystal meth, with helicopter-based wolf hunting in a distant third. Palin shouldn't have to be reminded of this, since she gets an annual check from the distant, tyrannical government in Juneau, a that check is signed with the blood of drowned polar bears. Also, no one in their right mind would make a blanket remark that all children are more precious than Alaska North Slope crude, but perhaps we are begging the question.

We digress. Please, Governor Palin, continue.

I love the way in which Katniss unwittingly sparks an uprising simply by showing courage and selflessness as she is protecting children, her little sister. She refuses to play the game the way that it's supposed to be played. She's goin' rogue, all the time, refusin' to sacrifice her moral code, y'know, that stiff spine — the character's a good role model.

We are neither a literary scholar nor a board-certified psychiatrist, but it seems that somewhere in her remarks, Palin stopped talking about Collins' heroine and started talking about the main character in someone else's story.

Guys, if she hasn't seen the movies yet, don't tell the Tundra Grifter who they cast as President Coin .

Here's the video, it is 6/10, might hate-watch again.