19 Comments

<i>I’m sure Bristol’s a great Dancer, but do not Tango with her mother!</i>

Especially not without wearing protection. That bitch is FERTILE.

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OMG, I am alive and back in the Wonkette. Thankyoujesus. Now if my sense of humor would only return.

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I want that on my tombstone.

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Wow, now that I am here I wonder can I talk to myself like I do here at home?

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I can! Uh oh. I better double the meds.

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I used to love this show. Now with the Palin and her yahoos gonna be calling in the damn votes. Not so much.

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Use of the word "shite" by the non-British on message boards also seems kind of lame.

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Excellent.

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Old people know how to cheat too. They pay the phone company to not let the calls go through. They also do a Tonya on contestants they don't want to win and then there is the ever popular Black Sox gambit( check out Pakistan's soccer team for a good example).Oh this is serious stuff for oldz..

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Susan-IN should try highly addictive drugs like TeeVee, bubble gum and meth.

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I woke up today and found I was left behind during the rapture. At least you are still here.

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A quick Google of the original spelling finds a sad little Facebook page called: Miricle Forest Gump Happy Gimore Million Dollar Baby Rudy. WTF?

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Wonkette, how could you miss the real story? That Mercede Johnston's life is in turmoil because of her mother's court ordered random drug testing. And that she must drive her mother everywhere.

<strong>WARNING: Have tissues ready before reading this:</strong> <i>"But even if she was allowed to drive it would still not be possible because my dad got her car in the divorce settlement. So I guess that leaves it up to me."</i>

If only she had a brother who could help. Unfortunately, that is not in the cards for poor Mercede.

<strong>WARNING: Have tissues ready before reading this:</strong> <i>"However I know my mom is greatly appreciative of all that I do for her and sometimes has been known to shed tears because of how much she realizes I am sacrificing for her."</i>

Try to keep your eye on the ball there WoodStein.

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purple tights aren't necessarily helpful.

there see bristol? if you were megan you would be traumatized.

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Industrial strength vag spray, you mean.

Medium shot. Beach at dusk, soft colors, Sarah and Bristol strolling hand in hand.

"Mom...what do you use when, you know...you don't feel fresh?"

"You mean the way you feel after screwing all of the oil workers at the sports bar?"

"Yes, that's it."

"Well honey, I use Comet Vaginal Wash...been using it for years you betcha. It kicks hell out of the stink. Even after 1203.5 extra-marital hooks ups, you father has never caught on."

"Giggle...if he IS my father!"

Long shot - both women laughing hysterically.

COMET VAGINAL WASH - IT KICKS HELL OUT THE STINK! ALSO TRY COMET VAGINAL WASH WITH BLEACH AND ALOE.

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...personally I think she is practicing for a very likely and promising career as a Wassila pole dancer.

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