The Senate Furniture That Fell Off The Back Of A Truck

 The news today is actually a guide to buying government furniture (it belongs to us, right?), knowing the difference between corn syrup and corn sugar (one doesn't exist), and having awkward conversations in real life and angry ones on the Internet.

• Someone illegally sold a ton of Senate furniture. His selling point was likely how comfy it is, considering how often our Congressmen fall asleep on the job. Burn! Except, if you've ever looked in the background on C-SPAN, someone has usually fallen asleep. [ Washington Post ]

• FDA rules that corn syrup cannot change their name to corn sugar, cos neither of those sound appetizing anyway. [ NPR ]

• Not good at conversation? Want to make things awkward to get people to notice you? Ask them about how much they make and start a lively debate on pay discrimination and lower your already crap self esteem by finding out everyone is paid better than you are! [ Salon ]

• Let's change the Constitution by asking random people on the Internet for help! Yeah, that'll work. Have at it, Wonkette commenters! [ Slate ]