Welcome back, folks! It's time again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly guide for all the hottest tips and tricks to feng shui your crystals into an alignment more conducive for your chakral energy surges. Y'know, bullshit. We've got a full collection of stories to cover so let's dive right in.
It is hard to really hate the followers of these types. Even when they go off on obscene rants or paint death threats on the freeway. Doesn't mean they shouldn't be locked away until their reality is more congruent to the consensus version, however.
The joke teller has to jog in place while setting this one up:
My doctor put me on this new diet. It's amazing! All you have to do see; is instead of eating food, you stick it up your butt!
At some point while you're going on about your new diet, the "mark" is supposed to ask you why you're jogging in place. The reply? Oh, I'm chewing gum!
I was never vaccinated against chicken pox, simply because the vaccine wasn't developed until 1995 and I was most of the way through school at that point. Edit: I also had chicken pox when I was younger, so should be good now regardless...
I prefer a lobster, but crab claws will do in a pinch.
Enemas at 20 paces?
The only thing missing is a prophylaxis against conservatism.
I misread that and thought she was up on charges. Then I wondered, why isn't she?
Do you accept Bitcoin? Or surplus gubmint cheese?
That tiny spark of intelligence leaves Trump out.
Yes, fits right in the Daily Beast, hoping for an upgrade to Politico.
"you'll always get some people who prefer to stay buried under the rubble."
Promise?
Family nickname "Screech."
"Or as they say down under - maths."
I tell them it's a problem with their languages.
This song was the inspiration for my comment!
It is hard to really hate the followers of these types. Even when they go off on obscene rants or paint death threats on the freeway. Doesn't mean they shouldn't be locked away until their reality is more congruent to the consensus version, however.
We'll just have to wait and see!
The joke teller has to jog in place while setting this one up:
My doctor put me on this new diet. It's amazing! All you have to do see; is instead of eating food, you stick it up your butt!
At some point while you're going on about your new diet, the "mark" is supposed to ask you why you're jogging in place. The reply? Oh, I'm chewing gum!
I was never vaccinated against chicken pox, simply because the vaccine wasn't developed until 1995 and I was most of the way through school at that point. Edit: I also had chicken pox when I was younger, so should be good now regardless...
It wasn't? Damn. What was I getting vaccinated for then?