Howdy-doo, folks! Welcome back to your weekly round-up of the internet's best in nonsensical nonsense, The Snake Oil Bulletin. This week's selection will be injected straight up your keister by none other than your favorite salesman, Fare la Volpe, Chakra Wizard and "Doctor" of Chiropractic Surgery. Let's dive right in to it, or right
"Humble quite literally uses the excuse that if he did show his research (gleaned from giving bleach to people in disaster areas like Haiti) the FDA would try to have him killed,"
Y'know, I'm against the death penalty. But if he's been going to fucking Haiti and bleaching the innards of people who've already suffered way too much, the FDA really SHOULD have him killed.
It will also make you projectile vomit blood. Which, you know, is very gratifying for any exorcists that happen to be performing nearby, I guess.
And then you get to throw open all the windows in the house, while turning the damned furnace off, and visit the ninth, frozen circle of hell.
(when this happened to me (except: no exorcists nearby), it was a mild winter in North Carolina, so it was survivable (but I really really hate the cold))
While reading about Clorox enemas I was having a hard time connecting pulmonary issues to a sparkling bright, color-fast bunghole and thought that the only possible reason was because the "patients" had their heads up their asses. I really wasn't that far off, you have to admit.
"Humble quite literally uses the excuse that if he did show his research (gleaned from giving bleach to people in disaster areas like Haiti) the FDA would try to have him killed,"
Y'know, I'm against the death penalty. But if he's been going to fucking Haiti and bleaching the innards of people who've already suffered way too much, the FDA really SHOULD have him killed.
Holy shit!
It will also make you projectile vomit blood. Which, you know, is very gratifying for any exorcists that happen to be performing nearby, I guess.
And then you get to throw open all the windows in the house, while turning the damned furnace off, and visit the ninth, frozen circle of hell.
(when this happened to me (except: no exorcists nearby), it was a mild winter in North Carolina, so it was survivable (but I really really hate the cold))
While reading about Clorox enemas I was having a hard time connecting pulmonary issues to a sparkling bright, color-fast bunghole and thought that the only possible reason was because the "patients" had their heads up their asses. I really wasn't that far off, you have to admit.
Remember to leave them some little paper lanterns and 3 legged frog statue for good luck. Or is that for getting rich?
Bob Larson? It's a proven scientific fact that no one named Bob can successfully perform an exorcism. The man's obviously a fraud.
And all this time I thought the Wonkette's roots were in dick jokes.
Recta? I hardly knew-a!
Good to hear the Capitol is now cancer and HIV free!
Dick jokes and buttsechs are not mutually exclusive.
Wow, I've always wanted to meet a "normal" person!
Wow. I want one!
you certainly don't want more than one!
between Derek Lowe and John Clark i have learned some interesting* things about chemistry.
*most of which would get me jail time (or death by RUDE**) if i tried to act on that knowledge.
** Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly Event
Plus this mustard gas is delicious on hot dogs!
Rule 34, indeed.
The power of pi bonding compels you! The power of pi bonding compels you!