Google "crystal massage wands", click on the shopping tab. Your choice of colors. (And minerals, too: If your cooch craves selenium - or if your chakras are selenium-deficient - there's a selenite dildo for it. )
Last thing in the world I would trust anywhere near my lady parts. Crystals have a tendency to crack along their many fault lines and, even when highly polished) have microscopically small surface imperfections that can irritate dainty membranes. For the same reason, they are not the most sanitary choice.
Yes, crystals are bullshit, but the great truth is that the ultimate Chakra is between the pubis and the butthole, in the area commonly referred to as the taint. That is why I have, in cooperation with science, developed the Taintorizer.
The crystal people are selling false science. Our bodies are precise electromagnetic devices, but crystals have no influence upon that energy. The Taintorizer balances the energy in the taint to optimize the pleasure zones and promote good health by energizing the taint and allowing it to tell the rest of the body to "get on the stick".
Now some have disparaged the Taintorizer by referring to it as "two alligator clips attached to a car battery", but these people are not scientists. The Taintorizer is a scientific device that balances the positive and negative ions in the taint to achieve a full Chakra experience. Accept no substitutes.
We guarantee complete satisfaction with the Taintorizer, but if you experience taint stimulation lasting more than four hours see a physician. So ask your doctor about the Taintorizer, and remember, keep a straight face.
Or been to the beach.
Admiral Akbar libel!
Are you sure the coffee and pie aren't to soften your brain up with the transfat?
But, do they get good radio reception?
Where can I find a $6.00 stone dildo? (Said my friend, who wants me to ask.)
John Waters once said he was so glad he was raised Catholic because, no matter what, sex would always be dirty.
Hummers? Why yes, I like them very much!
https://whereintheworldaret...
Google "crystal massage wands", click on the shopping tab. Your choice of colors. (And minerals, too: If your cooch craves selenium - or if your chakras are selenium-deficient - there's a selenite dildo for it. )
Kate Micucci, the cute half of Garfunkel and Oates, libel!(Her solo act is titled "Playin' with Micucci." )
Last thing in the world I would trust anywhere near my lady parts. Crystals have a tendency to crack along their many fault lines and, even when highly polished) have microscopically small surface imperfections that can irritate dainty membranes. For the same reason, they are not the most sanitary choice.
All I can think about are cervix burns from using the prism crystal dildo outdoors in the sun.
12 years of St. Joseph Central. That's me.
That's the Nordstrom's catalogue
And slippery as an eel, once you get going.
Trying to get me killed?
Yes, crystals are bullshit, but the great truth is that the ultimate Chakra is between the pubis and the butthole, in the area commonly referred to as the taint. That is why I have, in cooperation with science, developed the Taintorizer.
The crystal people are selling false science. Our bodies are precise electromagnetic devices, but crystals have no influence upon that energy. The Taintorizer balances the energy in the taint to optimize the pleasure zones and promote good health by energizing the taint and allowing it to tell the rest of the body to "get on the stick".
Now some have disparaged the Taintorizer by referring to it as "two alligator clips attached to a car battery", but these people are not scientists. The Taintorizer is a scientific device that balances the positive and negative ions in the taint to achieve a full Chakra experience. Accept no substitutes.
We guarantee complete satisfaction with the Taintorizer, but if you experience taint stimulation lasting more than four hours see a physician. So ask your doctor about the Taintorizer, and remember, keep a straight face.