Greetings and salutations, readers! It's time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly dose of magical cure-all tonic to detox all the normal shit right out of your system. We have a bulletin bursting with bullshit this week, so let's dive right into our first story about con artist and human snake Kevin Trudeau.
It's an effective therapy, but scientists and doctors are finding it to be a hard sell. They need someone with a talent for selling shit to people. (Rubs chin, goes "hmmmm.")
"I will believe anything he says over even my own senses" is pretty much the first stage of the religious experience.The evil genius lies in convincing people that whatever idiocy you're peddling ("I need a Gulfstream G650") is somehow authorized by the Bible.
A religious relative sent it to me for Christmas as a "gift" years ago, probably thinking that it would probably cure my chronic case of the Gay. Never opened the thing until recently and hoo boy, there's some crazy shit in it (the "notes" that helpfully explain what the verses mean are actually longer than most of the verses because, well, it's Swaggart). I've made it to Leviticus so far. Apparently, the laws concerning what one shouldn't eat no longer mattered after Jesus came and died for everyone's sins. I shit you not...one of the "notes" basically says that.
I wanted to make it to the Psalms, at least. But I don't think I can do it. I honestly don't know what to do with this massive thing. I wouldn't want to inflict it on some poor thrift store employee who has to process donations. Any suggestions?
I just missed the Enema For Everything generation. Although there was this one aunt who suggested it every time we visited her. I developed a sphincer of iron just thinking about it.
They are alum crystals that dry the skin like a normal antiperspirant. They lack scent so their pits still stink if they don't bathe. Also need reapplication more often.
Fuckin' Texas pols. All hat and no brains.
Average Sarah Palin devotee, at any rate.
At least there's a legit reason for it being expensive. (Or would be, if the stuff wasn't actually floor sweepings from the cornstarch factory.)
It's an effective therapy, but scientists and doctors are finding it to be a hard sell. They need someone with a talent for selling shit to people. (Rubs chin, goes "hmmmm.")
"I will believe anything he says over even my own senses" is pretty much the first stage of the religious experience.The evil genius lies in convincing people that whatever idiocy you're peddling ("I need a Gulfstream G650") is somehow authorized by the Bible.
I wonder how long it took them to figure out that they needed to make the eyes really, really obvious.
You'd think the continual stream of death by snake bite would eventually invoke Darwin's laws.
I've tried it. Must taste like rattlesnake, because it was meh.
And you get it direct from the GOP, no middlemen. Single-slayer system.
I liked it as sausage- nice and spicy. Granted, you can spice up just about anything, but the rattler sausage I've had still didn't impress me
Speaking of scams and religious lunacy, I have been reading this: http://www.amazon.com/The-E...
A religious relative sent it to me for Christmas as a "gift" years ago, probably thinking that it would probably cure my chronic case of the Gay. Never opened the thing until recently and hoo boy, there's some crazy shit in it (the "notes" that helpfully explain what the verses mean are actually longer than most of the verses because, well, it's Swaggart). I've made it to Leviticus so far. Apparently, the laws concerning what one shouldn't eat no longer mattered after Jesus came and died for everyone's sins. I shit you not...one of the "notes" basically says that.
I wanted to make it to the Psalms, at least. But I don't think I can do it. I honestly don't know what to do with this massive thing. I wouldn't want to inflict it on some poor thrift store employee who has to process donations. Any suggestions?
I just missed the Enema For Everything generation. Although there was this one aunt who suggested it every time we visited her. I developed a sphincer of iron just thinking about it.
They are alum crystals that dry the skin like a normal antiperspirant. They lack scent so their pits still stink if they don't bathe. Also need reapplication more often.
Patchouli is great for hiding the stink of ganja. Or at least that was what one of my sisters thought.
Their faith was weak. Don't you know anything?
Once you hit the meat with onion, garlic and pepper you have no way to tell the species. That is why they invented sausage. And why it is tref.