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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Bandit being theft-y in yer hed gif source: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/the-kibble-bandit

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(((What Fresh Hell Is This)))'s avatar

A trash panda's gotta do what a trash panda's gotta do.

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

There was an epizoötic (rabies? I don't know, but it killed a whole lot of them) around here quite a few years ago, and the raccoons just disappeared. They have reappeared.

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

When I had cats, I learned to be really careful about not leaving the back door open as their food and water were next to it. More than once I came into the kitchen to find a raccoon taking advantage of a free lunch.

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Biff52 is Tariffied's avatar

One cat I had befriended the raccoons. It was like a parliament on the back deck every afternoon, just a bunch of critters hanging out in the sun staring and blinking at one another. Of course food was shared in the kitchen in the middle of the night, too. When the water bowl was too muddy to wash food in, they'd go to a bathroom and turn the toilet into a sea of mud, too. I miss that cat, but not the mess.

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MorganX's avatar

Aiiiiiyeee!!! Darn near what our house was like when I was a kid! Mom, the animal helper, would feed our cats plus the neighborhood raccoons on the back porch at night while we watched through the window as they moved between feeding stations, some careful choreography mixed with a bit of hissing and growling.

Rabies?? Who is rabies!?

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John Thorstensen's avatar

Izzat a raccoon, or a coati mundi?

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Looks like a raccoon to me, but I'm no expert :)

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Sister Artemis's avatar

teenager raccoon

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Whale Chowder's avatar

Racoons will tear up your pets, not something to encourage. Our friends had a racoon get into their kitchen while they were away once. Tore the whole place apart.

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Maybe's avatar

Predators tend not to attack other predators. Even a win can be fatal as the result of infection.

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Dudley Didwrong's avatar

In my younger (much younger) days we had many different pets such as a number of snakes, a ferret, an opossum (who was not generally in a good mood but would allow us to put him at a mulberry tree which he would climb and then swing from a branch) and a raccoon. He was housebroken, enjoyed riding in the car (as did the ferret) and seemed to be friendly and kind. Dad drew the line when the raccoon became possessive of a birthday cake and wouldn't let anyone near it. (He became food for someone who enjoyed that sort of game-flavored meat.) We had a family living in our chimney in Maine. Drove our cat crazy until we evicted the bunch for non-payment of rent. I know they can be evil, wicked, mean, and nasty but they do have a good side (or ours did, anyway.)

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MorganX's avatar

Awwwww, many hearts and love! We left Maine at the beginning of autumn with lots of new, full Kleenex boxes around for the mouses to nest in rather than burrow into the furniture. And the trash baskets/bins upside down so they couldn't get stuck inside to die!

I had a dozen sweet ferrets over about 20 years. Still miss them.

Much more than the rescued newborn squirrels who would require a whole room to rock out in as they grew up! Adorable, fun, crazy, can be very bitey! and hard to convince they're supposed to live outside when the time comes 🙀

We'd have a ball trading memories over coffee, Dudley!!

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Dudley Didwrong's avatar

We lived in Maine for 26 years and generally loved every minute of it, including winters when we could cross-country ski from our house through woods to Freeport and shop at LL Bean (both sons worked for Bean while in school.) Animals were a big part of life there, including ones that came into the house to keep warm when fall arrived. I'm very much a live-and-let-live person when it comes to animals and even try not to swat mosquitoes and wasps, even though I'm allergic to the stingy things. They're just trying to survive, like I am. It's difficult to get people to understand that we're animals, too.

We had moose in the front yard. Those things are huge in case anyone wants to consider one for a pet.

If we ever get together to trade memories, I'll buy the coffee.

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MorganX's avatar

LOL! We had a few moose (yep, HUGE) in front of the ancient cabin we honeymooned in on Nahmakanta Lake, near the end of the AT, just below Katahdin! Float-plane in, trout fishing and skinny dipping in the thundering stream's fizzy pools under the falls, THE WAY LIFE SHOULD BE!

Our house was in Winter Harbor, across Frenchman's Bay, just north of Mount Desert. See a photo of the local shore on my page from a couple years ago; our beach was a huge heap of popplestones, boulders and ledges, but not far different. I miss it like a limb.

I'll buy the donuts 💚

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SkeptiKC's avatar

They are inclined to be vicious and destructive.

They wear those masks for a reason.

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Pere Ubu's avatar

So, Republicans.

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(((What Fresh Hell Is This)))'s avatar

Trash panda libelz!

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

How dare you suggest that any red-blooded Republican wears a mask! Pistols at dawn!

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Menotsure's avatar

While camping at Mammouth Cave National Park I observed a very dexterous Raccoon unlatch an ice chest and lay waste to all of the contents at a neighboring campsite. I was loathe to interfere.

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OneYieldRegular's avatar

I used to take a 3-4 day solo camping trip every year, and one September camped at Andrew Molera State Beach in Big Sur. I'd spent the day hiking and slept soundly. In the morning I awoke to find a hole in the tent behind my head and another on the other end of the tent, with a trail of energy bar wrappers stretching off into the distance. Lesson: Don't EVER bring food into your tent.

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Whale Chowder's avatar

Yeah, they're not afraid of anyone or anything. I've come out to get them out of the trash cans and they'll sit there just out of reach and look at you like, "yeah, what's it to ya?"

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Babe Paley's avatar

A neighborhood lady fed the feral cats so we ended up with a huge swarm of raccoons living on/under our deck, right by the bedroom window—one night I had had it with them carrying on and fucking and so I went out to yell at them—they looked at me like I was an idiot and resumed.

I raided my parents’ canned goods (including their supply of canned clams?) and started throwing them at the raccoons which just seemed to encourage them.

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Zap's avatar

They know how to use can openers!

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clairence's avatar

"free food!"

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Whale Chowder's avatar

YOU MONST- wait, carry on. Highest and best use, etc.

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Menotsure's avatar

Did that take place somewhere in the Black Hills of Dakota?

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

I tried my darndest to find the original poster, but could only trace back so far. *Could* have been the Black Hills, though. Why do you ask?

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Whale Chowder's avatar

/s I trust, or have you not heard of a little combo called The Beatles? I hear they're going places.

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marydn's avatar

We're hearing more and more from them everyday.

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Menotsure's avatar

There, lived a young boy named Rocky Raccoon.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

A friend of mine had a birthday that happened just after the Grenada war, so I wrote a song for him:

Now somewhere in the Black servant hills of Beverly there lived an old boy named Ronnie Raygoon, one day Grenada ran off with the other superpower, hit poor Ronnie in the image, Ronnie didn't like that, so one day he called the Pentagon, booked himself a fleet at the local lagoon. And Ronnie Raygoon shelled that lagoon, only to save the med students. Ronnie then found some Cuban ammo rounds, to prove it was a move of dear prudence. Grenada he says, was not a safe place, for tourists like the girl of his fancy. Her acting was hammy, he called her Mommy, but everyone knew her as Nancy. So she and her mon, who calls himself Ron, defended freedom for Jamaica, he says I'm a Rasta shaker, everybody knows he's a faker, we'll do better just as soon as we are able... ooh wah ooo...

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Oooooh, of course. LOL!

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Shocktreatment's avatar

The racoons that I encounter seem to be more affable and social than some human neighbors, but I understand why cats have a different opinion...

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

Yeah, a raccoon broke our cat door, so we had to decommission it.

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Teen Laqueefa's avatar

The GIF reminded me of the time I was feeding my cats outside in the dark one morning when someone's pet ferret rushed up my leg and ended up on my shoulder, I nearly crapped my pants!

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Holy shit, that would have scared me to screamin'!

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Teen Laqueefa's avatar

I nearly grabbed the ferret and hurled it, he's lucky I didn't!

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User's avatar
Comment deleted
Jul 8
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Teen Laqueefa's avatar

I don't mind them unless they unexpectedly mount me like Everest!

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hillary's left one's avatar

The Dude: Nice marmot…

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IMPOed's avatar

RUDE, DUDE!

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Babe Paley's avatar

I wonder what the kitties were thinking through that?

Also the food and the water use reminds me of how they soak the bun in water in hot dog eating contests…

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ExecutorElassus's avatar

The "wtf is this?" energy those cats are serving is some authentic realness.

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Eileen's avatar

I did not know that about the hot dog buns. Helps explain how the hell ANY human could cram so much bread into themselves!

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Babe Paley's avatar

It’s so gross—they tear them in half and jam them in the water so they can slip down and now I am gagging!

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

And yet, somehow, sponsors see that as a GOOD thing....

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Eileen's avatar

100% eeewwwww

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Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

Meow meow meow. Meow meow, meow meow, meow.

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Cheers Y'all's avatar

Showing those kitteh's how to wash their paws before eating!

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tehbaddr's avatar

Yes, the elusive ring tailed kitteh!

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V4Virginia's avatar

My sister in law trapped and released a tribe of feral cats in her neighborhood. They're down to three or four now, but when they were legion she had a little trough outside to put cat fud in.

One morning I looked out at them eating: cat, cat, cat, cat, that's a racoon?, cat, cat cat ...

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Opportunists, those raccoons are!

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V4Virginia's avatar

We had one come to the kitchen door and stand up with its paws on the screen looking at me. I swear if I had opened the door that dude would have strolled right in.

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Notreelyhelping's avatar

Ah. On a summer afternoon, we had one stroll up the steps, cross the porch, and enter the foyer. It took quite a bit of yelling and arm waving to convince him that we weren’t running a raccoon hotel.

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JB's avatar

It’s up to Joe. In or out, I will bust a gut to GOTV that stops us from becoming a faith-based gangster state.

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marcus816's avatar

I disagree with you about Joe Biden remaining our candidate although I do agree that Kamala and Gretchen are awesome.

Robert Reich on the way forward. https://open.substack.com/pub/robertreich/p/these-are-the-times-that-try-our?r=fl58r&utm_medium=ios

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Maybe's avatar

What I have seen is an excellent and productive first term for Biden, despite having an incorrigible Congress. I have also seen one bad debate. To me the evidence says that we should stick with Biden. If he can't handle an entire term, we get Harris. It's a win-win situation.

Trying to oust Biden at this point would be total mess, as Dems prove once more that they're good at governing and terrible at winning elections. Remember the 1968 Dem Chicago Convention. Why would we want to do that to ourselves instead of showing unity just a few months before the election.

Repubs vote to win; Dems get distracted. We have our candidate, based on his primary votes so far. We need to support him, not undermine him.

Harris is wonderful, but no woman has ever won the Presidency. I don't think now is the time to gamble.

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LuluBelle's avatar

Well, that's a disappointing hot take, to put it mildly.

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Kathleen Tierney's avatar

Whoops, I meant the mainstream media in earlier post. Rumor has it that the brain worm died out of shame.

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Kathleen Tierney's avatar

AOC and the Progressive and Black Congressional Caucuses are standing firm with Joe, and that's good enough for me. BTW, have you checked out the new book "Ask Not: The Kennedys and the Women They Destroyed"? I won't go into detail here in case someone out there is eating, but there is some nauseating information in there about RFK Jr. Doubt we'll be hearing much about that in the MSN, amirite?

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Rebecca. Ta, Martini. I could not post a morning greeting today, because we were on the road.

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beb's avatar

Project 2025 is so toxic that the orange felon is pulling out his "I never met her; I don;t know her; she's not my type." denial. Kind of like his "stop talking about abortion until we get elected" line.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf's avatar

Here's an email I just got: "I regret ever giving you money and I hope your feelings are hurt. How can you be so stupid? If we lose I hope you enjoy your time in the camps."

It's going great, everything's going great.

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Vagenda and Peeara's avatar

"This is not Official Wonkette Editorial Policy; you can disagree! If you can disagree with me or each other without being a dick. That goes for everybody."

I've had people be incredibly rude to me for suggesting that 1) I love OHJB, but he probably should have stepped aside after his first term. 2) We may not have been told the truth about him. 3) His debate performance was terrible (the ONE time he absolutely needed to look great!). 4) I don't know whether it's better for him to step down, or to stay on. 5) It is possible for him to transfer his campaign funds to a different candidate.

I've had a few assholes accuse me of trying to get people not to vote. I have NEVER suggested anyone not vote. I HAVE suggested that people not piss their votes away on 3rd party candidates who have no chance of winning. Some of the people here don't seem to understand that other people MIGHT have different opinions than their own, and instead of just saying "I disagree with your opinion," they get nasty, so I feel your annoyance/pain.

The biggest irony is I was the only person here who was openly supporting OHJB in the primaries in 2019, because I thought he was the only person who could beat Trump. Now I'm a traitor to the cause, because I think he probably should have stepped down, and we probably should have had a primary.

Don't let rude people bring you down!

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Rebecca Schoenkopf's avatar

We're going to have to have another post about The Comments.

A lot of you have been chasing a lot of good people away for what should absolutely be civil disagreements.

I'm sorry, dear one.

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Vagenda and Peeara's avatar

It's not your fault, so you don't need to be sorry. I just wish people would grow up.

I'm always open to hearing different opinions, and I DEFINITELY don't know if it's riskier for Biden to go, or to stay, which is why I've been trying to have conversations with people about it.

Someone chased Coronado Geoff off, a few months ago, and I really liked him.

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tempusfugit's avatar

I liked him too, to a point. However, he tended to be his most dogmatic and rigid on questions where his position was so full of shit he sloshed, and although I didn't see the exchange which supposedly caused his departure it would hardly surprise me if someone else got fed up with that and said so.

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Vagenda and Peeara's avatar

I always found him very pleasant. Someone was virtue signaling to him a bit too hard, and he just got tired of it.

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tempusfugit's avatar

As I say, I wasn't there, but I was there for lots of what I mentioned earlier.

I've thought of leaving more than once, but the commenters (not the writers, with a couple of big exceptions) keep me here.

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CJLB's avatar

Last night, after doing a search at NYT.com on Project 25, I canceled my 30 year old subscription.

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MorganX's avatar

HEY PEOPLE.

NEVER FORGET.

GOTV, LIKE WE NEVER HAVE BEFORE.

https://substack.com/@morganx/note/c-61335408?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=36ip5l

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Stephanie Diamond's avatar

I moved back to the US this week and just placed my first Martie order for allllllll the snacks! We practically drink that Bonne Maman jam, and I love their jars for my spices, so I think Martie will become my regular supplier.

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Sadly Practical's avatar

They’re awesome! Just remember to click to order through the link each time. I think it doesn’t give a kickback to Wonkette unless you do.

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Erika's avatar

I don't think we're gonna get creamed. I think the polls are as wrong as they have ever been, and I KNOW that switching the candidates now is almost IMPOSSIBLE legally.

Y'all need to call the fuck down and GOTV

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Ava's avatar

Correct! Ballot access laws make it virtually impossible to change candidates given the timing of the primaries (why yes, we had primaries) and the late convention. There are more than enough states where the candidate could not be added this late to ensure that our candidate would not have a path to an electoral vote majority. But none of the conversations on this mess are particularly encumbered by facts. Thanks for your comment!

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tempusfugit's avatar

Buh-buh-buh-bUT thOse pRiMaRiEs weren't fAiR!!!!! And my lizard brain is going apeshit now screaming "FLIGHT!!!!!!!"

*vomits*

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Led Tassle's avatar

Adam Schiff needs to schutt the fuck up. See this piece from last week about the last time an aged incumbent candidate fared badly in his first debate:

With all the freaking out about Joe Biden and the debate, I keep thinking about the 1984 presidential election. Ronald Reagan, who was in his mid 70s, had a really weak first debate performance, and the political chattering classes came out wondering if he was too old to be president. The dynamic was just like it is today. There was one major difference, though: in that election, the Republican Party universally rallied around their president, reassuring the press and public that he was just fine. In the next debate, Reagan did better, and their campaign rolled on to one of the most decisive wins in American history, a landslide the size of which we haven’t seen since.

https://www.mikeluxmedia.com/single-post/democrats-joe-biden-is-our-candidate-and-he-is-going-to-win

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RCS's avatar

Afuckin'men.

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

I thought Kamala's Mamala's quote about "context" sas a brilliant way of reminding young voters that the past DOES exist in context. This shows up all the time when Former President Clinton is read for filth by people who either did not live the experience of Reagan followed by Bush 1 or who lie about where the voters were at to win that election....also the backlash that brought fucking Newt into power.

Context.

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