The Worst Are Still With Us On The Sunday Shows

We watch so you never have to.

Aug 31, 2026

After the deaths of Dolly Parton, Tim Curry, and voice actor Peter “Optimus Prime” Cullen, we can’t help remembering this line from William Wordsworth’s long poem “The Excursion”:

The good die first, and they whose hearts are dry as summer dust, burn to the socket.

So, let’s dive into the Sunday shows and gaze upon some dry-hearted scumbags!

Tom Homan

The “border czar” and walking human rights violation made an appearance on CNN’s State Of The Union to fail to properly answer any of Dana Bash’s questions.

Bash began by asking about Milo Yiannopoulos’s deportation. Homan, like Speaker Mike Johnson, is always the person in charge yet somehow the least informed person about anything:

HOMAN: Look, it’s my understanding, looking at the Department of Homeland Security press release, that he overstayed his visa. I believe it was a visitor visa, but I’m not sure.

While Laura Loomer gloated and the Department of Homeland Security released statements specifically about him (with an unflattering mugshot), Homan vacillated between assertive support for the deportation and aloof ignorance.

Bash then asked Homan about a New York Times story about 10 detainess who witnessed or experienced violence or abuse at the hands of ICE officers. Homan, of course, took this very seriously.

HOMAN: No, and I don't — I don't — yes, I don't think that treatment occurred. It will be investigated, but we get allegations a lot. Every law enforcement agency in this country gets allegations of mistreatment. But, look, we know that threats against ICE officers are up over 9,000 percent. Actual attacks are up over 1,400 percent.

Oops, sorry, we meant he minimized/denied the abuse and shifted blame while using imaginary math without citing sources.

Bash tried, in vain, to appeal to Homan’s humanity after asking about DHS sending two deportation flights to Haiti. This despite Trump’s own administration admitting the dire state of affairs in Haiti, as terrorist gangs have murdered civilians, terrorized communities, burned homes, and destroyed families.

You know, the type of conditions people apply for asylum in our country for.

Homan’s heartfelt answer?

HOMAN: Look, bottom line is, they have been ordered removed. And I don't know the conditions in Haiti. I have never been in Haiti. I don't know if you have.
But, look, the judges made a decision: they must go home. And they need to go home. I mean, I — I'm not familiar with the country conditions in Haiti. I have never been there, but we're just enforcing the law.

Insert whatever “just following orders” quote here you want.

Speaking of “following orders” and terrifying vulnerable people, here is Homan “answering” Senator Chris Murphy’s statements about ICE kidnapping parents in front of their kids as they pick them up from school buses.

Homan likes to whine about his Gestapo troops not being beloved by those they oppress with their jackboots, but when asked about their terrorizing and abuse of the public, he just says they are “enforcing the law.” Which is convenient when you selectively enforce laws however it fits your authoritarian needs.

Ted Cruz

Over on NBC’s Meet The Press, Kristen Welker interviewed the Republican Texas Senator and podcast host on a variety of topics while he was there to promote a tome he wrote about corrupt Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.

But the interview got off to a rough start as Welker read a quote from the current senior senator from Texas, John Cornyn, about his former primary opponent and current Senate candidate Ken Paxton.

Cruz tried to chalk this up to hard feelings from Cornyn from the primary, tried to praise Paxton as a “strong conservative,” and then segued into Republicans’ idiotic attack lines against Democratic Senate nominee James Talarico.

CRUZ: This is someone who says God is non-binary. This is someone who says there are six genders. I don’t know what those six genders are. But that’s not what most Texans believe. […] And so I have every confidence when the voters move into the fall, get right before Election Day, when they look at Ken Paxton’s record […] I think it’s going to be an easy choice.

Two things:

God, as an omniscient being who created ALL humans of ALL genders in their image, would by definition be non-binary.
Does Ted Cruz really want voters to look at Ken Paxton’s record? He was impeached by his own party. Ted Cruz might prefer voters look less at Paxton’s record.

Cruz then shifted some goalposts about our objectives in Donald Trump’s “mission accomplished” in Iran.

Sometime after explaining Schrödinger’s Iran War, Cruz issued a threat to the nation:

WELKER: And just quick yes or no because I want to get to your book. You clearly, It’s on the table, though, a possible [presidential] run?
CRUZ: As I said, there will be a time for that conversation.

While we will curse every moment Cruz is on our screens campaigning, the thought of him possibly getting crushed by Jon Ossoff or AOC (if they decide to run) truly brings us joy.

Ken Paxton

Speaking of Paxton, we conclude with his appearance on Fox News’s The Sunday Briefing, where he stumbled at answering basic questions.

Like this one about his polling, which seems to confirm John Cornyn’s previous assessment of Paxton.

Nor could he explain his 15 homes, while painting his opponent as an out-of-touch liberal or socialist/communist, after a very effective attack ad from the Talarico campaign.

Listening to Cruz and Paxton, we kept bumping up against their constant refrains of “this is Texas” or “that’s not Texas.” This played-out, hypocritical bullshit in Texas politics is so old that it had its own musical number in 1982’s The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.