13 Comments
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chascates's avatar

The presents <i>from</i> Santa, I mean! My 15 college hours of English has vanished along with my ability to spot irony. Or perhaps its the Jim Beam.

chascates's avatar

YES! Become your own Republic and go from a slave to Federalist dictates to being a third world-type bastion of freedom, with broken infrastructure, no education to speak of, and the top 1% dictating what the other 99% of the people do in their serfdom.

It would make Haiti look like Germany and Somalia look like Canada!

Spurning Beer's avatar

I think we need to lay this whole neo-Confederacy trend on the doorstep of Ken Burns. You know how he sparked wild popularity for baseball and jazz. America had pretty much forgotten about all that stuff until he had to dredge it up all over again.

WA Bishop's avatar

Jack, Jack, Jack, as an/the editor you don't have to actually <i>write</i> a year-in-review piece, you merely have to recycle material you wrote months ago. We're drinkers, most of us, or olds, we won't remember, honest. How did you get to where you are without having perfected the art of phoning it in?

chascates's avatar

Ken's still worn out from assembling Santa's presents.

Spurning Beer's avatar

Jack, you did not include Rand Paul's belief, stated to Rachel Maddow, that the Civil Rights Act should not have applied to private businesses like, say, lunch counters.

Okay, not technically secession, but halfway there.

Rarian Rakista's avatar

We could use an Eastern Europe for cheap labor, imagine hiring an illegal Southerner to mow your lawn, betcha it would be even cheaper than Mexicans.

Rarian Rakista's avatar

Ken Burn's Civil War <a href="http://movies.netflix.com/W..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Ken_Burns_The_C...">http://movies.netflix.com/W...

He could just do a part II.

chascates's avatar

But Southerners won't do hard manual labor and would spend all their time waxing about the Glorious Lost Cause.

PsycWench's avatar

Anyone remember in the early '90s when Vladimir Zhirinovsky was elected to the Russian something or the other and a lot of American panty-wadding ensued b/c he was rumored to be planning to reclaim Alaska? Why were we worried, exactly?

Rarian Rakista's avatar

Can we enslave Republicans, they were the ones who freed the slaves in the first place.

fuflans's avatar

strangely, they're all republicans.

weird.