There Are No Lumberjacks To Celebrate On This National Lumberjack Day

Lumberjacks! Not really a thing anymore! Except, it turns out, as a competitive sport.

Happy Weekend!

An anonymous and very shy kitty, courtesy of our pal Douglas

Today is National Lumberjack Day, and until today, I don’t think it ever occurred to me that lumberjacks were not a thing anymore. I didn’t necessarily think they were, I just never gave it enough thought. Which is actually weird because there were a good few years there in which approximately 30 percent of all of the men I encountered were in a state of semi-permanent lumberjack cosplay.

As such, your first present this week is, of course, “The Lumberjack Song” from Monty Python.

And now for something completely different … or reasonably different but still on theme, we have a song that is perhaps not Mr. Rogers’ best or most creative song, but one which, well … is in fact a song. I guess. I mean, there are words. One word, mainly, with a few other words thrown in.

For some reason my friend and I went through a brief phase in 6th grade where we would prank random numbers and play this song and then just die laughing. Kids can’t really do that these days. Sad!

Now, by sheer coincidence, when I looked up “Brawny” on the ObscureMedia subreddit (thinking perhaps I’d find a whimsical old commercial featuring the lumberjack or something), one of the things that came up was a “song” by Crispin Glover called “Clownly Clown Clown” and it is definitely one of the more batshit things I have seen in my life.

I am so glad that this exists and that Crispin Glover just Crispin Glovers so hard.

But back to the lumberjacks! Now, while it turns out that there are not really like, official lumberjacks where their job is to go around cutting individual trees with an axe while wearing a lot of plaid and sporting a mustache, lumberjacking does, apparently, continue to exist in sport form. Like, competitive lumberjacking, where they climb very tall poles (instead of trees) and chop wood and battle one another on spinning logs in water, just like their lumberjacking forefathers did. I guess.

Here they are, in action!

Now I just really want to meet someone who is a competitive lumberjack. Like “Oh, hello friends, this is my other friend, who is a competitive lumberjack.” Or perhaps even a champion lumberjack. “See how he handles those paper towels?” I would say, and everyone would be very impressed.

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