347 Comments
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innocentbystander's avatar

I'm sorry I read this. I thought it was gonna be about embroidery.

diogenez's avatar

I was expecting jokes about guys who drive really big trucks...!

Goonemeritus's avatar

I stick my face plenty trimming my rose bushes, maybe that is why I'm a total snack.

BlueSpot's avatar

Microneedling is what happens when someone has sex with Donald Trump.

forestvillain's avatar

And here I thought microneedling was the term Stormy Daniels used to describe her horizontal encounter with Lumpy.

Hank Napkin's avatar

And do checkout the deep perversity of the lyrics of "Paper Doll" by The Mills Brothers. Presages "In Every Dream Home A Heartache" by Roxy Music, somehow.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaMeSrynug0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSniBxXjK_8

LoCoJo's avatar

But Robyn, I AM as vain and shallow as you are. The problem is I'm also broke. And vain, shallow and broke ain't no way to go through life.

Anyway, it's chilly and rainy so me and the fur devil are going to get under a blanket, watch Mafia tv shows and eat soup today.

lordpnut's avatar

Fuck all y'all. I'ma go watch GREASE with my old lady.

Got a four barrel carb and twelve to one pistons, oh yeah.

Keep talkin', whoa, keep talkin'...and whatnot.

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

" and the dog will lie down with the hen"

Hank Napkin's avatar

Learn the Verse Dammit! "...and the hen will lie down with the dog". Christ...

Eva, Iron Goddess of Mercy's avatar

A. Dolls have always given me the creeps, and I never played with them; and 2. Wenche is my spirit animal today.

NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

When my spawn was little they were all about “Bunnicula,” a vampire rabbit who sucked the juice out of vegetables. Wholesome!

lordpnut's avatar

Any Boney Carrot?

GlazedHaim's avatar

The Celery Stalks at Midnight haunts me to this day

Alpaca Suitcase's avatar

"because none of you are as vain or shallow as I am"

I am. I've gone back to school with the most young looking youngs and I make no apologies.

Seek's avatar

I saw the style of the cartoon about Vampires and expected it to be a Scooby Doo cartoon. Meddling Kids!

Satanic Pancake's avatar

I, too, have a ridiculous beauty regimen: I shower every once in a while.

Satanic Pancake's avatar

I thought microneedling was how Stormy described Shit King Donnie’s sexual prowess.