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Martini Glambassador's avatar

This dog is all charged up for couch jokes, which you will now make. Your hed gif source, friends: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/its-electric

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eddi-SABH's avatar

That's a 1,000 volt nose boop waiting to happen.

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clairence's avatar

Cutest porcupine ever!

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Revenant's avatar

That's a dog? It looks like one of those weird sea anemone things they find on the ocean floor.

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weejee's avatar

Martini, what is the voltage on the couch?

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Thalia Is Not Amused's avatar

Sigh... that poor dog looks like me when I get up in the morning!

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Babe Paley's avatar

I wake up in full Muppet in the morning--like the kind with feathery Fraggle hair, not like waking up like Janice.

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Thalia Is Not Amused's avatar

Ahhhh, waking up like Janice is the dream. The Dream!!! Sadly, I rock the Fraggle look as well.

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Menotsure's avatar

Needs product.

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Thalia Is Not Amused's avatar

Oh, my hair definitely needs so much more than what just product can offer! It's beyond bed head, we're talking a whole other stratosphere.

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Michael's avatar

of fraggle.

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Goin Green's avatar

I wish I had its hair. I wish I had any hair.

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Menotsure's avatar

"Chesterfield, ...it's not just for smoking anymore, ...at least in Canada."

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Shocktreatment's avatar

That reminds me! The extension cord needs to get repaired...

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Michael's avatar

DO IT NOW!

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Birb-General of the US's avatar

Do little doggies mind when their humans laugh at them? Asking for a friend.

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Carrie Duncan's avatar

Friend with a dog came in from the salon all happy and proud, got laughed at, and hid under the bed for 2 days.

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

Poor puppy.

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Carrie Duncan's avatar

The dog, not the friend.

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Goin Green's avatar

My Frenchie is a show off and loves it when you laugh at her… my Aussie is totally the opposite, she goes to her “bed” when she does something to make people laugh.

*bed as in the thing that lays beside our bed… you know, the thing she goes to after sleeping with us all night*

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Sophia's avatar

Someone last night was talking about training your dog to wear those booty things. One of the instructions was when they first try to walk with them don't laugh at them.

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I had a corgi a while back. He was always in on the joke.

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Internet Personae's avatar

https://open.substack.com/pub/wonkette/chat?r=2ofooe&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=share

Should be a link to ZiggyWiggy’s chat - for today’s couch joke of the hour -

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Hey there, just wanted to let you know that I heard from Rebecca re your request to add a morning meme chat, and she’s agreed to it. So starting tomorrow, I’ll set one up. Get your memes ready!

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Regret's avatar

I *told* you people that "couch" is a dog breed! And here you can see why you need a glove to "handle" it: To protect your penis from static electricity!

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

A dry ice blaster (at a nominal 95 psi) is used in my shop, and can build a good static charge in the workpiece. A coworker learned the hard way when he leaned in too close and took a zap to the crotch.

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Maelen Moonsinger's avatar

Talk about a turn-on......

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Michael's avatar

Calling Human Resources! Good luck with that.

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The Wanderer's avatar

With that much static charge, you could stick him to the wall like a balloon.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

I googed for couch synonyms, that damn AI came back and said "They're all played out, every English speaking human in the world has been here."

Oh well.

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tehbaddr's avatar

Porcupine Pupper.

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Mr Canoehead/M Tête-Canoë's avatar

Porcupupper!

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Pere Ubu's avatar

Tom Swift and His Electric Doggie

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The Wanderer's avatar

Much better story than Tom Swift and His Electric Couch.

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Also SFW.

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Alpaca Suitcase's avatar

Honey, the sea urchen's out of the tank again.

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The Wanderer's avatar

It's a searchin' urchin!

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Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

It's out pursuing its anemones.

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Michael's avatar

I can't keep up!

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Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

If I had a doggeh like that, I'd be tempted to name it Tesla. Except that Eloin Musk sort of ruined that name for me.

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Michael's avatar

Call it 'Edson'.

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

You could go subtle with "Nikola".

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Shocktreatment's avatar

"Little Tesla is finally housebroken! Does her musks outside like a good girl!"

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

“Pardon me, fellas, I got to go drop a musk! Those hot wings went through me like grease through a goose!”

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Zot, also too

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Doug Langley's avatar

Name of a superhero. Not in DC nor Marvel, the stories are offbeat and thoughtful.

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Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

Zot! Zot is good!

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Babe Paley's avatar

I would name her Phyllis because it reminds me of Diller.

And now I think Phyllis is a wonderful pet name!

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Michael's avatar

FANG!

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Innocent Bystander's avatar

'Diller' is not bad either.

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Linda1961 is woke and proud's avatar

She was in an episode of "Night Gallery," believe it or not. Also in that episode was John Astin, and both were great. She was actually a ghost, haunting her husband, Astin.

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Michael's avatar

But I'm much better now... Night Court. (a tv show reference, for U Yung pipplesz)

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Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

Ahh hahahahaaaaa!

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Babe Paley's avatar

Fang!

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Michael's avatar

Hey, just remembering : SHE was once one OPRAH! We're you?

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Cat Cafe's avatar

Awwww, they're angry because they don't like the fact that "weird" gained traction? Awwwww the poor liddle guys, what was their catchphrase, I'm trying to remember, oh yeah, "Fuck your feelings"? Was that it? I'm pretty sure that was it.

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beb's avatar

I'm torn between Mayor Pete and Walz for VP. What I want is a VP who can bring the heat to the GOP and both men are really good at it. I think Pete has the better digs but he's still young and his time will come. Walz is older but Minnesota Nice.

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Cat Cafe's avatar

I'm still rooting for Kelly, but I honestly will be happy with whoever she picks, and also (here's a nicetime thought) will be confident that she picked the best candidate!

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denimull's avatar

I was leaning toward Kelly, and my dream would be Pete, but the more I see of Walz, the more I like him for VP. He got my intense attention when I learned of his serving as the faculty advisor for his high school's gay-straight student alliance–that his being a football coach, a soldier, and white cis-het married man was all a huge reason he believed he needed to support those kids in any way he could. Signing the bill that gave ALL the kids in his state free lunches is a big plus as well.

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Littorally Speaking's avatar

Anybody who does phrasing like “𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥” works for me. 👍

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ZorPern's avatar

It's bird food, you cretins! I mean, creatures!

https://substack.com/profile/192824619-zorpern/note/c-63829577

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theCryptofishist's avatar

When Harris is elected can we have Biden as Czar? Infrastructure Czar or Supreme Court Reform Czar or High-Speed Rail Czar?

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(((What Fresh Hell Is This)))'s avatar

Pres. Biden does love trains. How about Sec. of Transportation?

(I believe Buttigieg will have a different job in the Harris administration.)

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WTAF's avatar

Great Tabs Evan & MG, TY! 🤩

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Jim Sanders's avatar

“Kamala Harris will be at the debate on September 10, as previously agreed to when Joe Biden was the candidate. Donald Trump is free to show up if he likes, or he can hide if he’s scared. [The Hill]“

Will he or won’t he?

Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

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Mark Linimon's avatar

Remember: all bullies are cowards.

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John Norris's avatar

If Don-Old shows up, only the most weird Maggots will be impressed. If Don-Old doesn't show, then all the rest of us will know he's a weird coward.(As if we need more evidence.)

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J Frechette's avatar

I won't be mad if Tim Walz is the vp pick. Plus, when Walz steps down as governor, he'll be replaced by the awesome Lt. Governor Peggy Flanagan. I was on a zoom call with her this weekend, of 1000 Native American Women and Two Spirits for Harris, and she is a pistol. And would be the first Indigenous Woman Governor, as long as we're making history.

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ziggywiggy's avatar

I might be partial but Bear gives purrfect poses. It’s like he’s saying ok, I know I am beautiful, take the picture already.

https://substack.com/profile/155618292-ziggywiggy/note/c-63818473?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2knfuc

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Nemo's avatar

Raw Story has a picture of Sen Kennedy, and he looks like "Coach" Tubervile with his dentures out. He seems to be competing for the title of stupidest man in the Senate. That will be a reputational blow for Oxford. Maybe they should rescind his degree.

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theCryptofishist's avatar

Oxford must have given out so many degrees to inbred, stu-ped, chinless wonders in the past centuries that there's not much reputation to lose.

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Jim Sanders's avatar

As bad as it may be for Oxford, as long as Harvard and Yale keep producing MAGAs from their law schools no one will care about the Oxford faux pau.

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Ward From Cali's avatar

Good on Mesa Arizona mayor John Giles. But before anybody gets too excited, I gotta point out that the office is non-partisan, Giles had essentially run unopposed in both 2016 and 2020 (he had an opponent in the latter, but he was a local crank), he has been governing as if he were a moderate Democrat from the start, and he endorsed Mark Kelly (and was censured for it by the state party) in 2022. This is not an example of Kamalamentum, it's just Giles being Giles. FWIW, he seems like a pretty good mayor.

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AthenaH2SO4's avatar

BTW, AOC dragging Ramaswamy because he's VERY UPSET we're calling them "weird" is golden:

https://x.com/AOC/status/1817937493859123222

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Mark Linimon's avatar

Right. Because "high school insults" are too advanced for the Rs.

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Seek's avatar

I hated all of those couches except the chaise lounge. That sofa pit circa 1970 was particularly awful.

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