These 10 Couches Turn Into Beds, Is That Weird? Tabs, Tues., July 30, 2024
Yep, we got 'couch' and 'weird' into that headline.
Let’s see about some news, what can we learn?
Y’all, I don’t know how to tell you this, but it turns out calling these weird MAGA/Republican/religious right motherfuckers fucking weirdos — something Wonkette and others have been doing FOR YEARS — is the most effective political attack of all. They are absolutely losing it. Has Jesse Watters ever been this angry? Like Andrew from Media Matters, I am not sure. [Andrew Lawrence on Twitter]
Louisiana Republican Senator John Kennedy tried to combat the “weird” accusations by calling Kamala Harris a “ding-dong” repeatedly. Fox News’s Neil Cavuto wasn’t in to it. IDEA: John Kennedy’s voice sounds like the lovechild of Foghorn Leghorn and the old pedo from “The Family Guy,” so maybe he’s not the best campaign surrogate for literally anybody? [JoeMyGod]
Up, up, up go Kamala Harris’s favorables! It turns out when the media actually covers her, people get to know her, and they like her. Who knew for the past four years! [ABC News]
Kamala Harris will be at the debate on September 10, as previously agreed to when Joe Biden was the candidate. Donald Trump is free to show up if he likes, or he can hide if he’s scared. [The Hill]
The mayor of Mesa, Arizona, a Republican, has endorsed Kamala Harris. [AZCentral]
Behind closed doors, JD Vance is kind of acknowledging how scared they are of Harris. At least he admitted the switch was a “sucker-punch.” [Washington Post]
We watched a bit of that White Dudes For Harris Zoom call last night, and um, well, we guess the vice president should AT LEAST make sure Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz is on TV and on the trail all the time, regardless of whether she picks him as her running mate. (But maybe pick him?)
A quote:
“How often in 100 days do you get to change the trajectory of the world? […] And how often in the world do you make that bastard wake up afterwards and know that a Black woman kicked his ass and sent him on the road? And you know that’s something that guy’s gonna have to live with for the rest of his life.”
And the video [ [Twitter, Caty Payette]:
We hope you’re sitting down, but it turns out a bunch of white supremacists helped write the white supremacist Nazi cum manifesto known as Project 2025. [USA Today]
Kayleigh McEnany is very upset the nation of France deprived the children of gross weirdo conservative Christian parents the privilege of watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. PSSSST, CHILDREN OF GROSS WEIRDO CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN PARENTS: That’s your mom and dad’s fault. Not France’s. [Acyn on Twitter]
Here are nine couch trends for 2024. If that’s porn to you, you know who you are, so don’t read it at work. [Livingetc]
The New York Times isn’t very good for journalism, but IDK, pesto beans sound OK. [New York Times recipes]
At my Friday newsletter joint this past Friday, I piled on and dug deep into JD Vance’s couch cushions to see if he really cares that Kamala Harris is childless, or if the problem is more than likely that people like Harris infuriate people like Vance because she’s happy and successful without ordering her life according to the wishes of white fundamentalist Christian men. Whaaaaaaaat? [Main link / audio version]
OK that’ll be enough things! Stay tuned to Wonkette for more things!
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This dog is all charged up for couch jokes, which you will now make. Your hed gif source, friends: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/its-electric
I just saw Jefferson Davis Vance being referred to as Vladimir Futon.
Ouch. That's not going to buff out.