They Do Not In Fact Call Him That. Tabs, Tues., Aug. 26, 2025

Lo, tho' they call him many things.

tabs gifs by Martini Glambassador!

Good morning, how about some things to read and watch and dance to?

Awesome. More on that press spray later, because we hate to tell you this, but Donald Trump has actually officially lost his mind, and when you combine that with the cankles and the hands that are rotting off away from his body, WELL. We’ll discuss it later.

On the other hand, Rachel Maddow scolding us all for paying too much attention to what Donald Trump says, and not enough to the alarming pattern developing wherein Trump is systematically firing as many professional people as he can in the national security realm, lowering standards for FBI agents, dropping qualification requirements for ICE agents, in a pretty transparently obvious attempt to replace the US government with a handpicked group of dumbfuck Trump terrorists who will say “how high up in there” when Trump tells them to lick his colon.

And, um, yeah, when she puts it that way.

Buuuuuuut, we gotta be honest, we think we’re both right on this one. It’s just that, as she notes, there are far too few journalists covering all these things right now. But yeah, we think the fact that we’ve reached solid Mad Cow Dictator phase is … chilling. And important.

Mad Cow Dictator Trump says he thinks he’s allowed to fire Lisa Cook, a member of the Federal Reserve Board who has offended him with her insolent insistence on persisting in being Black. Can he do that? Who knows! Dictator Trump hates Black women most of all, because he is the most inferior white man God ever vomited out. He says he’s firing her because of the mortgage fraud his administration has made up, we mean found, that she did, according to him, a clownfucking liar who still won’t release the Epstein Files. Paul Krugman says this is a break glass moment if it stands. Another break glass moment! [Paul Krugman]

Here is some breaking coverage on that:

Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker spoke forcefully in response to news that Donald Trump and his terrorists are planning to strike in Chicago. He especially also spoke to the press and scolded them ahead of time for trying to find “both sides” of Donald Trump being a fascist who’s declaring his intentions to attack one of our greatest cities. “Do not come to Chicago. You are neither wanted here, nor needed here.” Talked of a “continued slip in his mental faculties.” Referred to Trump as an “arrogant little man.”

He also said: “If you hurt my people, nothing will stop me — not time or political circumstance — from making sure you face justice under our constitutional rule of law.” Yeah, buddy, that’s what we like to hear, let’s start planning some fuckin’ Nuremberg trials now. [Full transcript]

Changing gears!

Listen, you fucks. (Not you fucks.) If Cracker Barrel changing its logo is damaging to your culture, YOU DON’T HAVE A FUCKING CULTURE YOU FUCKING FUCKS. And that is what I talked about on Friday at The Moral High Ground, HOW HAVE YOU NOT SUBSCRIBED YET? [The Moral High Ground]

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Donald Trump is going to SUE CALIFORNIA for doing the same thing Texas is doing, but he’s thrilled about the Texas thing, because this is about a dictator’s desire to consolidate power and nothing else. [CNBC]

Um yeah, so this thing where Trump took a 10 percent stake in Intel? Kevin Hassett says he’s going to do it a whole lot more! And we need to disabuse everyone of the notion that it is “socialism” or that this will be Americans “getting a return on their investment.” No. This is the Putin oligarchy model, where the government seizes stakes in companies and gives them to cronies as a way of enriching/controlling them. [JoeMyGod]

Guess it’s a rumor at this point, but the Daily Beast is saying they’re probably going to ban the COVID vaccines “within months.” Go get a booster if you haven’t had one lately. [Daily Beast]

Katie Miller is jizzing over Big Balls doing bench presses, we guess at this point anything is hotter than fucking Stephen Miller. [JoeMyGod]

UM, so it sounds like Candace Owens might have gotten a little over her skis with this whole “sue the leader of France for hiding his wife’s status as a man” thing. We know, we thought she had thought it through too. So now she’s raging that Donald Trump won’t save her from her legal fees, somehow. [The Bulwark]

Snoop Dogg is now scared of seeing lesbians in cartoons. You know, back in the day, that guy was cool. We’ll have more to say on this one, probably. [HuffPo]

KIDS THESE DAYS are making some pretty good music, not gonna lie.

OK bye.

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