Things We Learned From Our Neighbor Last Night, About 'The Jews'

• The Jews funded WWI so they could spread out.

• The Jews took advantage of Germany and took all its wealth and if they hadn't, how would one maniac be able to convince an entire country to kill them?

• We wouldn't have a problem with race in this country if the Media (Jews) did/did not point out that armed robbers are black.

• Every Jew our neighbor has ever met was a cool dude.

• He's just asking questions, bro. He's just asking questions!

• Like why does everyone hate the Jews if they aren't stirring shit up?

• Global warming is caused by the sun.

• There is a race of blue-eyed, blond-haired tall aliens in the middle of our hollow earth.

• This is why you are not allowed to fly over the North Pole, and Google Earth has photoshopped a cloud cover there.

• So you can't see the hole that goes through the crust and through the ice wall and through the internal ocean to the place of eternal twilight, where the aliens live.

• They won't let us use nukes, because they are the protectors of our planet. This is good.

• Newtown was a put-up job by the government (and Hollywood? Because 'Jews') to disarm the country. We know this because in The Dark Knight Rises, a scene shows someone looking at a map. It says "Aurora" and "Sandy Hook."

• Alex Jones says ... something.

• Did you know a Jew owned the World Trade Center? And he probably had terrorism insurance .

• Why do we have electronic voting machines when the machines could just disappear our votes? (This had the unfortunate effect of almost making us rethink our stance against electronic voting machines.)

• Why didn't the Jews stay to help rebuild Europe after WWII?

• If the Jews hadn't stolen the land of a peaceful people there would be no terrorism today. Why aren't the Jews paying for the buildings that are knocked down by the terrorism caused by Israel?

• We're not mad at him, right? We're still friends right? He would be really sad if we thought he were racist or anti-Semitic. He's just asking questions!

• Why is it fair that no non-Jewish person can express their ideas through the medium of film?

• Spaying and neutering your pets gives them butt cancer. Pet overpopulation is taken care of by "nature."

• It was really nice of us to let him to do his laundry here. He hopes we are still friends.