21 Comments
User's avatar
DiogenesOfTheVille's avatar

Y'all don't know the fun of inflating the old foreskin with Pee. Hang on tight then.... splash great fun for youraverage eight-year-old goy.

DiogenesOfTheVille's avatar

Those what have been mutilated in the cock for cultural or religious reasons are excused if your folks just shopped of the end of your turtleneckd sailor reasons? I'm sorry

fuflans's avatar

my mom (canadian but too much wsj / murdoch) raises this shit every once in a while (or 'it's about state's rights, not slavery', 'the south has a reason to be mad').

mr. fuflans is a (very educated, erudite) southern liberal. usually nips that shit in the bud with a single well placed missile.

bobbert's avatar

Also, most of them were, you know, dead.

Bourgeois Nerd's avatar

The non-Euclidean geometry and CYCLOPEAN HORROR of the architecture of the dorms can be a real bitch when you're late to an early class.

The Quirk's avatar

Dude must be on some kinda Hasid trip.

malsperanza's avatar

I like your neighbor. He is earnest, forthright, and sincere. He hungers for knowledge. Also, he does his own laundry. I would trade him for my neighbors in a heartbeat.

Here is what I learn from my neighbors on the rare occasions when I don't silence them in the elevator with the baleful glare of a maniac capable of spontaneous violence:

~My children are magical beings of immeasurable importance ~Do not touch my children; they will melt; do not touch them even when they amusingly push all the elevator buttons; this is called Discovering the World and we welcome it as a nurturing moment ~Or else ~Swearing near my children will make puppies die ~Why is the service around here so poor? ~I am a precious and enlightened being ~I don't follow politics, because it harshes my self-actualization ~The people who do my laundry are ... actually, whatever, I don't know ~Somebody should do something about all the problems ~I am progressive ~My real-estate taxes are too high ~Private nursery school is totally the way to go ~Have I mentioned how much I like my children? ~My dog is also wonderful

JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

It's an article of faith in right-wing world that Franklin Delano Rosenvelt <i>let</i> Japan attack Pearl Harbor so America could help communist Russia.

PubOption's avatar

If the laundry guy is a Christian nutjob, he should believe that Hell is in the middle of the earth. Or does he think that Satan is a misspelling of Sven?

JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

I thought that was to hide Santa's workshop. You mean there's no Santa?!? Thanks a lot Jews.

SullivanSt's avatar

There's a goyisher momzer if ever I saw one.

SullivanSt's avatar

Because Leni Riefenstahl just <em>had</em> to go and ruin it for the rest of us, that's why.

JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

A member of my family tried to explain how the Civil War was about taxes not slavery. I said, "It was about slavery. Southerners bragged about it at the time." He probably wrote a blog post about his crazy relative from Connecticut.