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Martini Glambassador's avatar

In honor of Wonkitty’s ‘airing ‘do, I wrote about the gutsy guy who first jumped with a parachute: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/andre-jacques-garnerin-had-a-good

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RogationDays's avatar

In the film “Bridge on the River Kwai” when they are going to send William Holden back to Burma to help them find the bridge they realize they don’t have time to for the parachute training. “Warden: No, they say if you make one jump, you’ve only got a 50% chance of injury, two jumps, 80%, and three jumps, you’re bound to catch a packet. The consensus of opinion is that the most sensible thing for Major Shears to do is to go ahead and jump, and hope for the best.” “Major Shears: With or without a parachute?”

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Blanche de Shambles's avatar

That is, successfully jumped.

In 1912, a tailor named Frantz Reichelt was filmed jumping from a spar of the Eiffel Tower wearing a "parachute suit" of his own design.

I will not post a link to the video, because that dude straight-up died.

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Garnerin’s jump was 1797. Amazingly ballsy. But yeah, it could have gone badly like your example.

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theCryptofishist's avatar

How did he jump off the Eiffel Tower when Gustav wasn't even born yet!

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

I *think* that was a joke, in which case, 😁 But just in case, if you are confused about the 18th century jump and how it was done, I’ve got the deets in the attached parachute story.

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theCryptofishist's avatar

That was completely a joke. If I were really clever I could make another one about Houssmann here.

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Werewolf's avatar

Friend of mine was an IDF paratrooper-he used to say "What was I thinking, jumping out of a perfectly good airplane?!"

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pmsrw3's avatar

I have a nephew in special forces who does that on the regular.

TBH, I kind of envy him.

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Beanz&Berryz's avatar

“This seems like it should work.”

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Menotsure's avatar

WW II paratroopers called it "hitting the silk". Any silk hit by me will be bedsheets or a consenting woman's underwear.

GERONIMO!

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

LOL!

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Pub Option's avatar

D. B. Wonker?

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Stroke1's avatar

''the gutsy guy who first jumped with a parachute''

You mean the gutsy guy who first jumped with a parachute and lived, amirite?

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PrimerGray's avatar

The first gutsy guy pulled the rip cord and a bunch of knives and forks came out. Name was Wile something.

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Oblio's Cap's avatar

He was a genius, I hear.

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PrimerGray's avatar

A 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓 genius.

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Uncle Betamax's avatar

That was a bad morning for the design department.

Their after-hours picnic turned out to be a big bale of oiled silk, too.

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Stroke1's avatar

/smiles/

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Khavrinen's avatar

"Michael Wolff’s new book The Fall: The End of Fox News and the Murdoch Dynasty"

Not nearly fallen enough yet.

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Pillbox Hat's avatar

I can tell you from personal experience that Mike Simpson is stupid. In case you didn’t catch it from that quote.

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

The Instant Pot is awesome....you'll get great dinners if you take a bit of time to learn it.

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theCryptofishist's avatar

ZeFrank put out a new video yesterday. Corals... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyp1CakqNNc&ab_channel=ZeFrank

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John Norris's avatar

Democrat senator Bob Menendez (NJ) and his wife have been indicted on bribery charges. Also some hanky-panky with Egypt that looks like spying to me. Anyway he says it's all a frame up and somebody must have planted the $150,000 in gold in his house. https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/22/politics/bob-menendez-charges/index.html

Menendez needs to resign from the senate.

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Biff52 is Tariffied's avatar

He should have resigned the last time, even though he was acquitted.

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The Horned Tulip God's avatar

Wonkitty looks a bit too excited to be here.

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randomnessliz's avatar

"But preventing "Beetlejuice" hand jobs is not the main reason this "get married" bullying is so misguided. It's because it overlooks the very basic fact that women are people, and not just organic robots put on earth to cater to men."

Not just organic robots performing Beetlejuice handjobs!

Ladies and Gentlemen...........presenting your 2023 Pulitzer Prize winner for Doing it Right, Ms. Amada Marcotte

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pmsrw3's avatar

"Okay, I’m finally getting around to soup in this Instant Pot I got for Mother’s Day (we’re sick! and I’ve been skeered!), so thanks for HOW THE FUCK DO YOU TURN THIS THING ON!"

My niece gave me one of those for Christmas. I have never intentionally turned it on. But I have done it once or twice by mistake.

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

They are really great and easy to use...send it to me, please. if you don't want it...I could use it on my sailboat...

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theCryptofishist's avatar

You know, if you unplug it, this won't happen.

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pmsrw3's avatar

Nah... Too easy!

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Pilgrim's avatar

<quote> questionable travel ethics, like “begpacking,” where travelers will show up in a destination without enough funds to continue their trip, and will busk </quote>

Beg pardon, busking ... playing music in the street with an open case nearby ... is a perfectly ethical way to get around. What you hear is what you get, socially useful and no chicanery. Part of a long, long tradition of Wandering Minstrelsy. Not worse than "begging" for subscriptions on Substack surely.

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

In other good news, radical right-wing Republican election loser Alex Mealer finally dropped her suit against the lady that kicked her ass with votes last year, Lina Hidalgo.

Her suit was initially funded by Mattress Mack - a really good guy with one bad flaw, and that's being a Republican - and promoted by Wayne Dolcefino, who is the living, breathing embodiment of the word "sleazebag".

Mealer - who gave up all semblance of decency and honesty not that long ago - claimed she didn't bring her suit to re-litigate her ass-creaming but to ensure future elections are fair. Since she dropped her suit with no positive outcome for her, we can assume she's admitting failure.

Of note is that her attorney bailed on her three weeks ago, BECAUSE Mealer wanted to introduce ELECTION FRAUD into her lawsuit. He said he never signed up for ELECTION FRAUD, so he peaced out.

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

“Name one time that we’ve shut the government down and we haven’t got the blame.”

How in the Sam Hill does this guy not connect "we shut the government down" with "we get the blame". Does he know know who "we" is?

Dude - "we" is YOU.

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Biff52 is Tariffied's avatar

I never do nuthin' wrong, but I always get the blame!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jivmeJoB-w

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Bupkus231's avatar

Are we sure that Mike Simpson's middle name isn't Homer?

[ I know, Homer libulllz ]

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Edith Prickly's avatar

The source of the illegal "travel hack" was Barstool Sports' TikTok channel. Say no more.

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ziggywiggy's avatar

“We always get the blame,” said Rep. Mike Simpson (R-Idaho), a senior appropriator. “Name one time that we’ve shut the government down and we haven’t got the blame.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Johnny Appleseed's avatar

Stunning. Absolutely stunning.

As well, he could have easily declared: "We keep passing these laws that nobody likes and we continue to lose elections. I just don't understand it".... Mikey, put the shovel down or STFU!

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Johnny Appleseed's avatar

That Fred Wellman/Simon Rosenberg discussion needs to be able to be recalled by every Democrat to win ACROSS the board/country in 2024. Great discussion right there. Dems keep winning in formerly Red districts too.

Also too, a new CNN/University of New Hampshire poll found President Joe Biden leading Donald Trump in a hypothetical general election match-up in the Granite State. (yes it's still early). The poll found Biden leading Trump by 12 points, with Biden receiving 52 percent support in a head-to-head and Trump receiving 40.

https://abcnews.go.com/538/democrats-winning-big-special-elections/story?id=103315703

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