The Duck Dynasty Crisis continues apace, and so we bring you a couple of updates (we could go to an all- Duck Dynasty format if we wanted to, but we respect you too much for that). First off, in the great state of Alabama, state Sen. Jerry Fielding announced Monday that he'll
I haven't been following this duck kerfuffle because I don't know what the hell the show is about or who this person is everyone loves so much. But as best I can understand it, a network called A&E has a show that panders to southern rural types who like to decorate their homes with camo pattern ($400 million worth at Walmart), and watch while other people sit in swamps and kill wild birds.
But the guy on the show said something vile, which didn't bother the viewers but is likely to offend A&E's major advertisers, who are not overly dependent on the southern Walmart demographic, but are national brands such as Samsung, Motorola, Verizon, Sensodyne, IHOP, Macy's, Nokia, Walgreens, T-Mobile, and heh, Progressive Insurance. I mention these names because the fans and Mr Alabama Legislator are about to get a lesson in what happens when states-rightsy, state-driven culture goes up against the national culture.
The Tea Party and silly old Fox have convinced the Slavery States that they can carve out their own retrograde Reb culture and then impose the hell out of it on the rest of us. For way too long the national political system paid the South too fucking much attention. (As always in all bad things, Nixon is to blame.) But the flip of national opinion on gay rights has been salutary; with luck it is the leading edge of a broader pushback. Because it's about fucking time.
Hm, not really funny. But let's face it: nothing is as funny as that Robertson guy, so why try to compete?
OMOZOMG our sinister plot has been exposed! CURSE YOUR SWINISH CAPITALIST HEARTS, A&E! We the People SHALL NEVER BE MOVED! Because we are stuck in this booth at Chick-Phil-Eh. Little help here?
OMFG (have I got that right?). Not only are G&O hilarious, but they can turn out spoof-quality video in less than a week? Carry on, my wayward grrrls.
I hered the one what they call Willie has moobs that would be the envy of any trans-vegetable,so much so they even make his uncle sigh or some shit like that
So I read the actual article so I can be smarter than Sarah Palin. But then I realized I was born smarter than Sarah Palin.
There's really no gospel in what Phil Robertson said. He paraphrases and argle-bargles through the rest. He claims Japan (Shinto) and Communism (atheists) and Islamists (Islam!) are warlike because they don't know Jesus. Someone should tell him how Christian Germany started a war against Jews, homosexuals, communists, etc.
He says Obama is from Chicago and Romney is from Salt Lake City. He thinks Salt Lake City is safer so he voted for Romney. Someone should tell him Romney is not from Salt Lake City.
How I wish I could return to that idyllic time in our nation's history (2 weeks ago) when I had never heard of Duck Dynasty or its head cretin Phil Robertson.
I haven't been following this duck kerfuffle because I don't know what the hell the show is about or who this person is everyone loves so much. But as best I can understand it, a network called A&E has a show that panders to southern rural types who like to decorate their homes with camo pattern ($400 million worth at Walmart), and watch while other people sit in swamps and kill wild birds.
But the guy on the show said something vile, which didn't bother the viewers but is likely to offend A&E's major advertisers, who are not overly dependent on the southern Walmart demographic, but are national brands such as Samsung, Motorola, Verizon, Sensodyne, IHOP, Macy's, Nokia, Walgreens, T-Mobile, and heh, Progressive Insurance. I mention these names because the fans and Mr Alabama Legislator are about to get a lesson in what happens when states-rightsy, state-driven culture goes up against the national culture.
The Tea Party and silly old Fox have convinced the Slavery States that they can carve out their own retrograde Reb culture and then impose the hell out of it on the rest of us. For way too long the national political system paid the South too fucking much attention. (As always in all bad things, Nixon is to blame.) But the flip of national opinion on gay rights has been salutary; with luck it is the leading edge of a broader pushback. Because it's about fucking time.
Hm, not really funny. But let's face it: nothing is as funny as that Robertson guy, so why try to compete?
ETA: Welp, so much for that. <a href="http://www.nola.com/tv/inde..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.nola.com/tv/index.ssf/2013/12/duck_dyn...">http://www.nola.com/tv/inde...
OMOZOMG our sinister plot has been exposed! CURSE YOUR SWINISH CAPITALIST HEARTS, A&amp;E! We the People SHALL NEVER BE MOVED! Because we are stuck in this booth at Chick-Phil-Eh. Little help here?
Someone? Anyone?
OMFG (have I got that right?). Not only are G&amp;O hilarious, but they can turn out spoof-quality video in less than a week? Carry on, my wayward grrrls.
Believe it or not, this is from 2009.
It&#039;s both! Threeway for me!!!
I hered the one what they call Willie has moobs that would be the envy of any trans-vegetable,so much so they even make his uncle sigh or some shit like that
&quot;To Serve Anus&quot;
NOOO, ITS A COOKBOOK, DUCKTARDS!
Cholesterchristians, UNITE
<i>&quot;Phil Robertson&rsquo;s family values are shared by the vast majority of Alabamians...&quot;</i>
I believe it. Especially about how happy the blacks were under the apartheid South.
So I read the actual article so I can be smarter than Sarah Palin. But then I realized I was born smarter than Sarah Palin.
There&#039;s really no gospel in what Phil Robertson said. He paraphrases and argle-bargles through the rest. He claims Japan (Shinto) and Communism (atheists) and Islamists (Islam!) are warlike because they don&#039;t know Jesus. Someone should tell him how Christian Germany started a war against Jews, homosexuals, communists, etc.
He says Obama is from Chicago and Romney is from Salt Lake City. He thinks Salt Lake City is safer so he voted for Romney. Someone should tell him Romney is not from Salt Lake City.
I try not to hate anyone, but I hate these pandering hypocritical faux xtians and their theocracy. They totally bring up the bile.
How I wish I could return to that idyllic time in our nation&#039;s history (2 weeks ago) when I had never heard of Duck Dynasty or its head cretin Phil Robertson.
I find that video very easy to <i>flap</i> to.