385 Comments

"We’ll talk about him more in the coming days"

This did not age well.

Expand full comment

And Stevie 3-Shirts has a say because…? Shouldn’t he be rotting in prison someplace? Post-flea dip, of course. Not even the most filthy of prisons should let him occupy a cell until he’s been pressure-washed.

Expand full comment
founding

They may as well nominate the rest of the House Republicans now and save some time. Vote down one a day and it will be 2024 before we know it.

Expand full comment

There once was a doofus named Emmer.

Who gave TFG a public CIMmer.

He obviously failed,

And he weeped and he wailed,

And it serves him right, what a dummer!

Expand full comment

A cimmerlic!

Expand full comment

Steve Bannon told a reporter from Bloomberg, “We are trying to kill him in the roll call vote. This one is a real war.”

Ummmm, is there a reason anybody cares what Steve Bannon thinks?

Expand full comment

He keeps to threatening people with death, so yeah, he should be on the radar.

Expand full comment

It almost seems like they'd do better if they just let Hakeem Jeffries take it.

Expand full comment

Ya think?

Expand full comment
founding

The one thing the Rebs agree on is Jeffries is the Antichrist.

Expand full comment

Every episode in this "White Guy" series is getting so formulaic.

Expand full comment
founding

It’s the writing. Too derivative. That’s the state of the creative writing universe these days, sadly. Now, my screenplay on the other hand ...

Expand full comment
founding

Republicans are a fucking joke.

Expand full comment
founding

And not even a funny one.

Expand full comment

I don't think "real war" means what Bannon thinks it means. However, I would be willing to start a GoFundMe page to send Steve to a Forward Operating Base on the Syrian - Iraqi border. He could be an aiming stake for the Mortar Platoon, the hot, dry air might be good for his complexion .

Expand full comment

Gaza-Israel. Reporting live.

Expand full comment

Emmer just dropped out of the running because REASONS not the least of his not kowtowing to the extremists not liking him voting for what the people really want. Here we fucking go again. They really hope that everyone will capitulate to them and like other have no doubt pointed out, it’ll be the Dems fault for acting like adults trying to wrangle sugar hyped petulant chirrens.

Expand full comment

We're on the 1 through 4 loop, although I think someone did (8) out of order.

(1) Republicans in the House need to exhaust all their Speaker candidates first,

(2) get livid about it,

(3) scream for more days,

(4) go through the rest of the five stages of grief, then

(5) argue about what they’ll ask of Jeffries,

(6) Jeffries will respond “That’s a nice first offer — try again,”

(7) more GOP screaming behind closed doors,

(8) somebody punches out Matt Gaetz in the Cloak Room, and

9) we wind up with Democrats helping to overwhelmingly elect somebody like McHenry (who House Democrats already think well of), and

(10) we get a House that limps along until 2024 with no transformative legislation passed in the meantime but is beholden to Democrats and we get to keep the lights on and Israel and Ukraine aid-ed until (11) something structurally changes within the House Republican conference or the numbers in the House change due to the elections next year, or both.

Expand full comment

And then also too, why would Jeffries trust a single fucking thing those assholes promised?

Expand full comment
founding

He won't. Any promise will be backed by a resolution to act passed by the Rebs.

Expand full comment

That was less than a Scaramucci.

Expand full comment

He didn't even last a day as the Speaker Nominee for the GOP.

Expand full comment

Fun fact: push notices announcing Emmer had dropped out arrived somewhat less than two hours after the ones announcing this post.

Expand full comment

There once was a man from nanticket

Who took Trumps sac and did lick it.

But the arse he didn't kiss

So the crowd they did hiss

But white and male is the ticket

Expand full comment