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<i>"...and then you have a throwing contest in an attempt to crush a stray cat’s skull, so you can eat the stray cat...."</i>

That's why I steer clear of 'moo goo gai pan', and any other delicacy with 'goo' as part of it's name.

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<b>The "James Dobson Taking A Shower With His 5-year Old Son" App <i>($14.99)</i></b>

Sure it's one of the more expensive apps, but where else are you going to learn the difference in penis sizes between grown men and little boys, and have it still be considered normal, healthy, hetero-promoting sexual behavior, instead of everyone groaning with disgust and the cops showing up to cart your deviant ass off to jail?

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I'm waiting for the "Bryan Fischer Gets Caught With An Underage Prostitute Countdown App". Once the inevitable happens it converts into an alarm clock that plays "Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy" at the appointed time so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

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