Trump And Cuomo Definitely Not Best Friends Plotting To Take Down Zohran Mamdani, For Sure!
Little bit of a Cuomo roundup.
Could love be in the air?
A report this week from The New York Times suggests that President Donald Trump may very well have his eye on one Andrew Cuomo, disgraced former governor and New York City mayoral hopeful who already lost the Democratic primary. According to “three people who were briefed,” Trump rang his old frenemy recently to discuss the race, after hearing from some NYC pals that Cuomo is the only one with the juice to beat actual Democratic nominee Zohran Mamdani.
However, according to Trump himself and Cuomo spokesman Rich Azzopardi, such a conversation never happened. The Cuomo camp is still clearly trying to pretend that Trump is most worried about him being mayor, though without explaining precisely why that would be. He even shared, on X, a clip of himself at the mayoral primary debate, stating that “I am the last person on this stage that Mr. Trump wants to see as mayor.”
Legally, that makes it true.
Some Republicans are chomping at the bit for Mamdani to get elected so that they can go “Look at the scary brown lefty! Is that what you want?” but Trump has been freaking the hell out over his victory and is reportedly trying to do what he can to ensure that he never becomes mayor. This is probably because Trump — I hate to say it — tends to be a little bit more aware that left-wing economic ideas are far more popular across the board than many Republicans or Democrats are. This includes Democrats who very much want those things but have come to “accept” that (people say) no one else does. The fact is, practically no one anywhere in the country who isn’t very rich or a landlord is going to be mad about rent freezes. More likely, they will be hoping that the idea catches on, because the rent is too damn high for them as well.
Trump wants to take Mamdani down the most because he doesn’t want people getting ideas and thinking that they, too, could actually elect people who would make their finances a little less strained.
What’s Better Than A Potential Trump Endorsement? An Actual Elizabeth Warren Endorsement!
Of course, while Cuomo may end up with an endorsement from Trump, Mamdani got a much more valuable endorsement this week — from Elizabeth Warren. Here they are talking about why universal childcare is a better investment than billionaires.
They’re so cute! I very much want him to write a rap about her the way he wrote a rap about his Nani.
I’m sorry, but every time I see it I have to watch it 17 more times in a row. It's amazing.
He Ain’t A Serial Sexual Harasser, He’s My Brother
In Andrew’s corner — aside from, potentially, Trump — is his brother. You know, his brother who just last week was complaining that the reason we can’t have nice things, like democracy and fewer mass shootings, is because feminists won’t let him look at their boobs. That brother.
Chris Cuomo got into a spat this week with Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez just hours after she shared clips from the NYT article adding “NYers knew Andrew Cuomo was backed by Trump’s orbit. That’s why he lost the primary” and endorsing Mamdani. While he didn’t come at her for that, he did share an absurdly deepfaked video of her saying extremely weird things about Sydney Sweeney, referring to her as an “Aryan goddess,” calling her boobs “bouncy little funbags,” and talking about how it’s very bad for people to be attractive. You know, just the usual normal things she says always.
Cuomo responded to this by getting performatively mad at her for doing this thing she didn’t do instead of, swear to God, criticizing Hamas. Or, I guess, talking about really important stuff like how much better and more peaceful the world would be if women would just stop complaining about sexual harassment.
“Nothing about Hamas or people burning jews cars...but Sweeney jeans ad? Deserved time on floor of congress? What happened to this party? Fight for small business...not for small culture wars,” he wrote.
AOC replied, “This is a deepfake dude. Please use your critical thinking skills. At this point you’re just reposting Facebook memes and calling it journalism.”
Cuomo responded by telling her that “it really does sound like you,” which suggests he’s never actually listened to a word she’s said before (probably too busy looking at her boobs) and claiming later on his show that he’s still in the right here because she has not been out here lately talking about how Hamas should return the 50 hostages left, at this particular moment when we’re all looking at pictures of starving children in the middle of a genocidal famine and there are maybe five people left, including Cuomo, still trying to pretend it’s entirely justified as well as not actually happening. It’s almost as if that was not his concern at all so much as trying to poison her endorsement of Mamdani.
On the bright side, it does not seem as though anyone on any side or even the center of the aisle is too fond of Chris Cuomo, who like so many other white men before him appears to have gone right off the deep end after having been criticized for literally anything. Hopefully he, his brother, and his good buddy Bill O’Reilly will all be very happy together.
Where The Sun Don’t Shine
And now, for no reason whatsoever, we’d like to present you with Cuomo’s definitely-not-half-assed logo for the mayoral race.
It’s supposed to represent a rising sun and the statue of liberty and definitely not anything else. It’s a very original idea, and yet … so familiar somehow.
And that’s all we have to say about that.
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
Cuomo and Trump were an inevitable marriage of political convenience, just like with Elon, because shitbags need other shitbags to justify their rotten, shameful behavior.
Having the guts and humility to actually be a fucking man is hard work.
Hey Andrew Cuomo: New York's voters ALREADY REJECTED YOU. You really have a problem with the word "no," don't you?