In case you missed it, Donald J. Trump and Elon Musk had a two-hour dong-honking sesh on Twitter last night, and it was about as exciting as any conversation between two rich, entitled, and delusional men hotboxing each other’s farts could be! Yeah, you’re sick of them both, we all are. But there were some real doozies in there!
Here’s what Trump sounded like, don’t worry, it’s short.
If you want to read a transcript without subjecting yourself to their voices, here it is.
The evening’s chat started off with a 40-minute delay, which Musk claimed was from a DDoS (Distributed Denial of Service) attack, though the rest of Twitter was not affected by it, how weird! And also after about 35 minutes, reported the NYT, “Mr. Trump’s mic came on, and a shuffling sound was heard. A second later, his mic cut out. Mr. Musk’s account, which had been logged in and ready, then momentarily disappeared from the conversation entirely.” Probably it was the Deep State, and not how he fired 80 percent of his workers or nothin.
Anyway, Trump started off rambling for 20 minutes about his shooting, and his voice sounds strangely slurry throughout the whole thing, like he’s wearing a retainer, or just got dental surgery. When asked about it by HuffPost reporter SV Date, the official response from the campaign was, “Must be your shitty hearing. Get your ears checked out.” Did they hire Nelson Muntz?
Here are some highlights! Or lowlights. Or salient points.
Trump said he wanted to get rid of the Department of Education, a prime nugget from the Project 2025 wishlist, and leave education to the states to figure out, somehow. “Not every state will do great. Of the 50, I would bet that 35 would do great. And 15 of them, or, you know, 20 of them, will be as good as Norway.” Parents are gonna love that one!
Trump seemingly praised Musk for firing striking workers at Tesla.
I won’t mention the name of the company, but they go on strike and you say, ‘That’s okay, you’re all gone. You’re all gone. So, every one of you is gone.’
Threatening to fire workers for going on strike is not legal, and this morning the United Auto Workers filed labor charges with the National Labor Relations Board. In 2021, the NLRB found that Tesla violated labor laws when it fired a union activist and Tweeted threats to take away workers’ stock options if they voted to form a union. Workers are gonna love that one!
PREVIOUSLY TODAY!
And Trump threatened us all with the best possible time: fleeing to Venezuela if he loses the election! Hope somebody sends Justice Merchan that one before sentencing.
In fact, the next time what we'll do is if something happens with this election, which would be a horror show, we'll meet the next time in Venezuela because it'll be a far safer place to meet than our country, okay? So we'll go, you and I will go and we'll have a meeting and dinner in Venezuela.
Most of the country is gonna love that one! Though he also promised we’d never hear from him again if he lost in 2020, so take that for what it’s worth.
Then he recounted this Wayne’s World exchange with Putin, and I am not making this up, I swear:
You can't do it, Vladimir. You do it, it's gonna be a bad day. You cannot do it. And I told him things that what I do [?]. And he said, no way. And I said, way. And it's the last time we ever had the conversation.
Musk’s hair weave had some crazy shit to say too, like opining that ackshually, nuclear war isn’t that bad. “Hiroshima and Nagasaki were bombed, but now they're like full cities again.” Want Elon Musk to install a Neuralink chip in your brain? Line forms over there!
What else? Trump bitched that Tim Walz wants to put tampons in boy’s bathrooms. (The law says that “A school district or charter school must provide students with access to menstrual products at no charge. Products must be available to all menstruating students in restrooms regularly used by students.” It does not mention boys’ bathrooms.)
They snarked that Kamala Harris is “not smart” and Musk called her “an NPC” which is an insult teenagers use to mean a non-playable character in a video game, like the bartender in The Sims. Though Trump conceded she “looks like the most beautiful actress.”
And of course he talked about how much Kim Jong Un loves him, and repeated his lies about how Congo is sending criminals here (gee, why is it always Congo?), and etc. etc. Musk claimed that the whole interview got a BILLION views, with a B, the Times says between 100,000 and 700,000, which seems a bit more likely. The post of the space itself seemingly got 73 million views, which is still not a billion, and what apparently counts as a “view” is any time you scroll past a post, even if it’s just for half a second.
Is any of this supposed to win over swing voters? Does Trump even care? His one rally in weeks was flying Jeffrey Epstein’s old plane into Bozeman, Montana, where he stole music from Celine Dion and Isaac Hayes, for Pete’s sake. Anyway, Harris’s team had a statement out immediately, because they are fucking ON IT.
“Statement on Donald Trump’s Interview With Elon Musk: Donald Trump’s extremism and dangerous Project 2025 agenda is a feature not a glitch of his campaign, which was on full display for those unlucky enough to listen in tonight during whatever that was on X.com. Trump’s entire campaign is in service of people like Elon Musk and himself — self-obsessed rich guys who will sell out the middle class and who cannot run a livestream in the year 2024.”
OOF. And WOMP WOMP.
OPEN THREAD.
As a denture wearer if my dentures are loose I am having a hard time with the letter "S" and end up lisping and slurring.
Tim Walz volunteers to drive you to the airport.