Trump And Romney Eat Chocolate Cake, Arrange Smooth Transfer Of Mitt's Manhood
Everyone's all a-twitter today about Mitt Romney's great big dinner of crow at Trump International Hotel in New York Tuesday. Does it mean Trump's going to offer Romney the job as secretary of state, so the Haired One can say there's at least one relatively sane person in his administration? Has Mitt forgotten all those nasty things he said about Trump during the campaign? Is Donald Trump seriously putting together a "team of rivals," for the good of America? Was there a powerful, exotic mind control agentin the scallops? No one knows for sure, although the little glowing bulb on his head and his repeated utterances of "I will do what Donald says" have not yet been adequately explained.
Both the Trumposphere and Romney's vocalization synthesis processor are putting a nice, amiable spin on the dinner, which Reince Priebus joined as well, although he appears to have been there mostly as a conveniently sized mass to be placed between Trump and Romney if necessary. After the dinner, Romney said,
I happen to think that America's best days are ahead of us [...] And what I've seen through these discussions I've had with President-elect Trump, as well as what we've seen in his speech the night of his victory, as well as the people he's selected as part of his transition, all of those things combined give me increasing hope that President-elect Trump is the very man who can lead us to that better future.
Romney then paused, blinked, and asked if anyone would like him to sing "Daisy," which was taught to him by his programmers at HAL Laboratories in Urbana, Illinois.
Trump campaign spokesperson Jason Miller told "Fox & Friends" Wednesday that Trump had "a very good dinner with Mitt Romney last night," and that there are no hard feelings, because after all, the campaign is all over now:
Admittedly, they've been on opposite sides of some of these political issues and some of the battles in the primary. But that also goes to the president-elect and the fact he's putting together, even rivals, to put together this team that can go forward[.]
Miller added that the two had "good chemistry," another comment which could be taken to indicate mind-altering substances were used on the 2012 Republican nominee.
As to whether Romney will actually be offered the secretary of state position, Yr Wonkette is less than convinced. While it would definitely add a certain amount of gravitas -- or at least as much gravitas as Romney can simulate -- to an administration that so far appears to be operating without adult supervision, we suspect Donald Trump's deep need for revenge may undercut his desire to bring on someone who at least knows which fork to use. Our guess is that over the next couple weeks, Trump and company will continue to dangle the job before Romney, if only to see how much they can get him to grovel.
Maybe they can get Mitt to say on camera he doesn't think Russia's all that bad, for instance. Then, once they've completely broken him, Rudy Giuliani will sweep into the room wearing a tiara and sash, kick Mitt in the nuts, and say, "You really thought you had a chance?" Then all the Trumpers will laugh and laugh and laugh as Mitt hobbles out to the lobby of Trump Tower and says he had a productive meeting.