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Megan Macomber's avatar

Just One Question: Where will that "about five million" be going? Straight into Trump's crotch pocket, where he can fiddle with it and pretend he's masturbating? Or straight into Elon's...sock drawer, where he can masturbate with it and pretend he's Sauron?

Oh, another Just One Question. Are we talking "about five million" US dollars, or bitcoin? Cuz if it's the latter, it ain't going to Trump. It's going to Melania. (Thanks, Netflix.)

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

Seriously, $5M? That’s a ridiculously low amount for the grifting…the true oligarchs could easily pay $100M, and nobody else would spit on this “opportunity.”

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Spleen Victoria's avatar

Look, it’s not JUST for White Russian oligarchs. It’s also good for mixed race misogynistic rapists like the Tate brothers!

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Tessie's avatar

The fuck, you'd have to pay me $5 million TO move here, and even then I'm not sure I'd do it.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. Earthquake! indeed.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

This makes no sense. If you have $5 million then you definitely have the money invest in a business under the EB-5 visa which doesn’t cost $5 million. So you’re better off applying for the EB-5 visa.

This just looks like Cheeto is advertising for more billionaires. “Hey, are you sick of living in a shithole country that expects you to give a rat’s ass about those icky poor people? Then come join the new plutocracy in America where we’re soon going to be hunting the poor for sport.”

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DogParent's avatar

But if you apply for the EB-5 visa, your money is invested in starting a business here. If you buy a "gold card", I'm guessing your entire $5 million goes directly to Donald.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

So if you invest it in a business, there’s a chance you’ll get it back. Or, use it on a gold visa and kiss it goodbye.

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

But it avoids that whole “work” thing which is really a downer.

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tehbaddr's avatar

"Extremely trash people, yes. Classless pigs."

So just like Tramp and Melons!

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Cynthia Jensen's avatar

“we drew a dick on it”…excellent.

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Bitter Scribe's avatar

𝘊𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵.

Specifically, people with white skin and lots of money that Trump needs and wants.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Can anyone here point me to the Butterstick updates?

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tehbaddr's avatar

That freeloader Panda that wouldn't fuck?

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Sherry's avatar

Hmm. Wonder where that $$ will go. Certainly not to the US to solve a budget crisis.

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Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

It will be a more direct way to funnel money to billionaires than tax cuts. Straight into their pockets.

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djny10003's avatar

The Caribbean nation of Dominica had a program a few years ago, that they would sell citizenship for $100,000 cash.

They stopped doing it when it became clear that the only people who had $100,000 in cash and wanted to change their citizenship immediately, were criminals.

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insert_something_creative's avatar

Deporting innocent, hard-working immigrants while rolling out the red carpet for actual criminals. Sounds about white for these Nazis.

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Dudley Didwrong's avatar

That's just the folks that tfg wants here but if you keep writing the secret out loud a few people may start to wonder.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

I wonder how much he's going to charge to allow Russian oligarchs to gain birthright citizenship in the U.S. . . .

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LOU LOU's avatar

A country that has leadership that sells things that are worth realistically nothing such as NFT's, bitcoin and $5M visas is producing nothing. The USA is tapped out of producing much more to increase its value. Only thing they can do is look to annex other countries and increase its value through absorbing another nation's GDP, but the USA can hardly afford fighting more than an estimated 400,000 Canadian insurgents who will fight to keep their country strong and free from unproductive greedy minds and hands. https://thetyee.ca/Analysis/2025/02/13/Do-Not-Test-Us-Trump/

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Dudley Didwrong's avatar

As I read that I began to realize that there are people on THIS side of the border who would also fight against any US invasion of Canada. Resistance, including sabotage, are clearly not always the tools of evil people and I'd bet that many US citizens would be vehemently against any such invasion. It won't happen; The Blob is just blowing his usual "look at me" smoke, acting like the Big Man with a Military at his disposal to impress his howling clan, but just the thought of such a thing fills me with rage.

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Dee Whitman's avatar

Just take a look at London to get some idea of how much damage is done by Russian oligarchs -- not least by laundering money via real-estate purchases and then letting their giant mansions sit empty. (Of course, plenty of non-American rich ppl already do that in Manhattan, graciously putting upward pressure on *all* rents.)

Read about Evgeny Lebedev -- the Russian-born son of a high-ranking KGB official -- who owns some big UK media and who was put into the House of Lords by boris johnson. It's all just so lovely -- and so impossible to fix after these bedbugs have claimed their territory.

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Let me sum up's avatar

Since investor visas already exist (though I'm sure FFOTUS thinks he created them) this provokes approximately zero outrage from me compared with the eleventy kabillion other shitty things he & the Space Nazi are up to.

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