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Fifth Dentist's avatar

"We're on a mission from God." -- new Chicago Poop

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Fifth Dentist's avatar

The new Poop spoke in three languages during his new-Poop-on-display session.

English wasn't one of them.

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The Blessed Reverend's avatar

Grow a spine, man! Whereโ€™s that fighting spirit that terrified Joni Ernst and Tillis into voting for Secretary Shitfaced?

.

I would like to think The Criminal is running out of steam. He should be napping, watching tv, and gossiping about medications in between doctor visits.

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Dina's avatar

All the beautiful baby girls, the 11-year-olds, can now have 30...๐™Ž๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™™๐™ฎ ๐™™๐™ค๐™ก๐™ก๐™จ!?

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Tessie's avatar

So, has the new Pope provoked Captain Goldfish into a screaming all caps tantrum on shitter yet about CHICAGO, OBAMA, FAR LEFT LUNATICS, MY DAUGHTER IS SO HOT, and CHAIIIIY-NUH?

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Tessie's avatar

And alls I'M sayin' is, the existence of a Chicago Pope at least IMPLIES the existence of a New York style thin crust Pope.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

Keir Starmer had no idea Trump was going to do this to him TODAY, when he had a full schedule of events planned for V-E Day, a day that even Donald Trump should have heard of.

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kckitty's avatar

I love the new Pope!

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. Of course there's no trade deal. That Thing in the Offal Office is eternally full of shit.

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hvdv's avatar

"So thatโ€™s that. The pope reveal party is kind of like a gender reveal party, except with popes. They pick out their pope name โ€” may we suggest Carl? There should be a Pope Carl โ€” they put on a poping outfit, and they go out onto the Loggia of the Blessings and show themselves to everybody."

Not quite! I learned earlier this week (from a real, now deceased cardinal, who was in conclaves) that after a person has been elected and they have accepted, but before they put on the costume and appear on the balcony, they get time to themselves in what is known as the crying room. So they have time to accept their "horrible fate" (cardinal's words, not mine). Catholics can be muy dramatic.

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The Blessed Reverend's avatar

Ohime!

And you can laugh? PERFIDO!

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fuflans's avatar

well now i can see why i HEAR so much justin wolfers on the liberal podcase circuit. it isn't just his wit, accent and credentials...

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Doloras LaPicho's avatar

'There is a new pope. Donald Trump has pulled the nomination of controversial dickwit loser Ed Martin...'

Ed Martin was nominated as Pope? Trump's hubris knows no bounds.

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

As if. Trump has eyes on that post - no way does he nominate THAT loser for the job.

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Anzu's avatar

Onion article about Leo XIV: "There couldn't be a better time to get the fuck out of America." https://theonion.com/pope-leo-xiv-there-couldnt-be-a-better-time-to-get-the-fuck-out-of-america-forever/

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PaulDietzel's avatar

When the College of Cardinals ( how's the football team? ) elects a new pope does he have to (get to) start right away or does he get a couple of days to fill out change-of-address cards and shit like that?

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Robert Eckert's avatar

on some other thread a person who had conversed with a (now-deceased) cardinal said the cardinal (who had been through a conclave or two) said the newly-elected Pope gets about a half hour after his election in the "crying room" to come to mental terms with his situation before putting on the robes and going out on the balcony

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Deborah Grace Steward's avatar

Good one - precisely the right amount of snark for that horrible perversion of a human being that I sooooo wish we could get rid of - and all his ilk - and I donโ€™t mean the new pope!!

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Hank Napkin's avatar

It's Long Past Time for the Pope, The Holy See, and The Universal Church to step the fuck up and bring the fucking Rusty and Very Pointy Hammer of the Lord down on all these Christianists, Evangelicals, and Prosperity splinter groups, blind 'em with incense, stun 'em with blood wines, drown 'em with filtered tap water, and stuff their multi-jowled faces with chewy thin slices of the Lord's Mighty Flesh! ๐Ÿ™ Amen!!

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Why would the Pope care about them? It's not like they are actually Christians or anything...

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Hank Napkin's avatar

The Universal Church โ€” Being the First & Original True Belief System โ€” holds ยฉ,ยฎ,โ„ข,โ„  on Jesus. The Universal Church โ€” Being the First & Original True Belief System โ€” consequently loses Hundreds of Millions of Dollars and Countless Souls to spin-off worship systems based on Jesusยฉยฎโ„ข โ„  to Pretenders, Annually. My guess, anyway.

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