Donald Trump announced Friday night that in the interests of free-market capitalism, the US will take control of much of Venezuela’s oil fields, because that’s what you do after you invade countries and kidnap their leaders.
Trump took to his social media playpen to shout that “The United States of America has just entered into an Agreement with the Country of Venezuela on, THE BIGGEST OIL DEAL IN WORLD HISTORY!”
As the Washington Post explains (gift link), the “deal” or “scheme” or “criminal fucking conspiracy” will give the USA a controlling stake in about a quarter of Venezuela’s oil reserves and “makes the U.S. the majority owner of a giant new joint venture oil company that will hold 100-year contracts at the Venezuelan oil fields.” Gosh, we wonder whether any of those contracts will have something for the Trump family in them?
Even though Trump did them the favor of seizing an entire country at the beginning of this year, major American oil companies haven’t actually flocked to Venezuela to exploit its oil reserves. The country’s oil infrastructure is old, in terrible shape, and falling apart, just like the US president. Its putrid toxic vapors may, however, be preferable to those emitted by the US president.
After announcing that the US seized the means of oil production in a foreign country, Trump presumably returned to scaring voters about Democrats promoting “communism.”
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Trump lied in his Friday announcement that the deal would cost taxpayers nothing and would bring down gas prices at American pumps. Venezuela’s oil fields are a mess, and any oil that comes from the deal would take years to produce. It’s also unlikely to be “at no cost to taxpayers” just like Trump’s big stupid ballroom, but at an even higher cost.
[Deal] points reviewed by The Washington Post and interviews with people who were close to negotiations as the deal came together suggest that for the plan to succeed in producing oil in the amounts the administration projects, the U.S. government may ultimately need to invest significant amounts.
A list shared with The Post before the deal was announced noted 17 oil fields in which the U.S. would take a stake. Several of the fields lack any infrastructure or access to transport hubs to treat and move the crude. Those where such infrastructure does exist have fallen victim to years of neglect and theft of machinery.
Pumping oil from the fields could require investments of many billions of dollars and costly security plans to protect oil workers and production facilities in lawless and violent regions.
It really just keeps sounding better and better, doesn’t it? Maybe the oil can be pumped into the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool for everyone to see.
Oh, and then there’s the guy the Post identifies as our very reputable and reliable business partner in Trump’s little scheme:
The key Venezuelan partner in the deal is Alejandro Betancourt, who controls the second-largest private oil company in the country. Betancourt, 46, has also been the subject of investigations in multiple countries into alleged money laundering and faces a Swiss warrant for his arrest.
Trump has, not surprisingly, been doing any number of favors for Betancourt, like trying to get the Swiss case against him “resolved” without any criminal charges, and not taking any action to extradite him to Switzerland during his trips to the US, where he meets with members of Trump’s administration. Why should a little alleged money laundering get in the way of a beautiful oily friendship?
There are still a few details to iron out, like the one where the US isn’t supposed to be invading other countries and taking over their energy industries. Somebody should definitely check whether there’s anything in the rule book that says a golden retriever can’t use force to violate the territorial integrity of another state.
We bet this will all work out just great, unless, say, Democrats take control of Congress and put a stop to it. That really seems worth a try.
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Who else remembers when Prick Scott was all over TV telling Venezuelan-Americans that grabbing Maduro would lead to new elections that would purge his regime?
The same Prick Scott who said we didn't do this just to steal Venezuela's oil...
Probably a Communist . . .
“I am anti-imperialist. I am opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land.”
- Mark Twain, Oct. 15, 1900