Trump Bombs Shit Out Of Syria, And Media CAN'T STOP HAPPY-JIZZING ABOUT IT

ALL THE THUMBS UP

It is a truism in American politics that presidents, especially Republican presidents, become a REAL MAN the second they decide to make a boom boom in a foreign country, preferably one populated by brown people. So it is that our mainstream media is already making GIGGLE-JIZZES over how Donald Trump suddenly discovered that "beautiful little babies" were dying in Syria (breaking news from Obama's first term!) and decided we needed to hurl 59 Tomahawk missiles at a Syrian airstrip. At least that's the public reason for the attack, which, like World War II and all other wars, was directed from the Situation Room in the public dining room at Mar-a-Lago. 

The prize for the most OMG SHUT UP FOR THE REST OF TIME reaction to Trump throwing 59 of his biggest dick-missiles at Syria goes to Brian Williams on MSNBC, who just sat there in awe at how pretty our missiles were, as they flew through the sky to kill stuff. For Williams, apparently, it was like a cute kitten video and an Upworthy story about an anonymous lady who gave a server a 5,000 percent tip, all rolled into one!

Brian Williams refers to this Pentagon video of missiles going to kill people as "beautiful" 3 times in 30 seconds pic.twitter.com/KBb3tP8qHT 

— Trevor Timm (@trevortimm) April 7, 2017