742 Comments
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Revenant's avatar

Remember that part of The Return of the King (the book) that takes place up in a tower at Minas Morgul; the orcs have captured Frodo, and they fall out among themselves, leaving Frodo still alive and very few surviving orcs to challenge Sam when he shows up. Our orcs are fortunately not much better at getting along with each other than Professor Tolkien's fictional ones.

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40 and Not So Fabulous's avatar

*adjusts nerd glasses* AHEM! That was in the tower of Cirith Ungol, not the great fortress of Minas Morgul!

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VwllssWndr's avatar

The man who stored classified documents on a stage at his golf resort is bad at keeping campaign secrets? WHO THE FUCK COULD HAVE FORESEEN THIS

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easelox is on timeout's avatar

wait, what part of today's events is this about?

Not tracking that close

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Robert Eckert's avatar

We don't know yet

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan.

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Question Cat's avatar

What lollapaLOSERS!

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funnyhaha's avatar

How do you know there's no gawd? Creatures like Charlie Kirk are multi-millionaires and they got there by being hateful morons.

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Enter Ranting's avatar

Kamala's presidency is going to be great for his hate-mongering business model.

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UVB-76's avatar

I've given up on the notion that SkyDaddy is there to fix my problems and give me what I ask for.

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Maybe's avatar

This is how the campaign ends,

This is how the campaign ends,

This is how the campaign ends,

Not with a win but a whimper.

Apologies to T. S. Eliot.

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Wondering Woman's avatar

As poets have mournfully sung, Death ignores these piles of dung: The sadly unfunny, the grifters of money, And those who are surely not hung. - Apologies to W.H. Auden

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Tessie's avatar

I would prefer the lone and level sands thing to the slouching toward Bethlehem thing -- but I'll settle for ANYTHING that is not a win for these chuds.

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Bel-Ami's avatar

There sure is a lot of money in being a tool of the fash.....

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Maybe's avatar

That's because they have a lot of superstitious and stupid followers. Easy to fool and to bilk.

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Major Is My Spirit Animal's avatar

So I guess they're going to fire PAB?

That guy leaks in so many ways, and most of them pretty gross.

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avidlurker's avatar

Is it true that in meetings everyone wears plastic bags over their heads with holes cut out for the mouth?

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Johnny Appleseed's avatar

Because of the whale juice (again)?

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

When you’ve lost Nick Fuentes, what do you really have left?

https://crooksandliars.com/2024/09/nick-fuentes-confused-after-trump-admits

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Tessie's avatar

Sure, he's mad now, but I'll bet a dollar he votes for his master anyway.

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

Well der.

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UVB-76's avatar

Hey Donnie! Look up! See the meteor?

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Tessie's avatar

Don't look up!

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PropellerVigo's avatar

The unpunched half of Richard Spencer's face?

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Ambiance Chaser's avatar

Didn't Turning point USA get awarded Trump's campaign ground game efforts? Hahahaha ol' Charlie will be gettin' on that whole knocking 'dem door bells as soon as he's finished his 3rd sauna.

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Whale Chowder's avatar

...and yet it's a tossup.

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John Thorstensen's avatar

(It's not a tossup, but we need to act as if it is.)

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Maybe's avatar

It is, even though it shouldn't be. Elections are weird. The Elec toral College is especially weird. The Repub are bad at governing, but they're great at lying and cheating.

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Michael Bowen's avatar

Yeah, I'm expecting that the Texas Legislature will make voting for a Democrat illegal sometime between now and Election Day.

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Wondering Woman's avatar

And convincing low-information voters that the GOP cares about them.

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Regret's avatar

To be fair, lots of people are hurting and see nobody getting any help. Just meaningless numbers called "the economy" going up, but they know that it is now harder for them to put bread on the table. Economists and the politicians who accept the advice of economists are bad at understanding the difference between real lives and averaged numbers. Economists gladly give a prize to a society where a single person earned 1 million by fleecing $1000 from a thousand people than give the prize to the next town over where a thousand people did so well that everyone earned $100 more.

The first isn't a net profit, but the GDP went up by a million, while the second is a net profit of 0.1 million while the GDP only went up by 0.1 million.

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Cryny's avatar

Yep. I've been saying for a while that Democrats need to frame it as an economic 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 and averted disaster rather than telling people everything's great. Because for the average person it's not great. But it could have been so much worse--it would have been if Trump won in 2020 and would be if he wins now. Also only one candidate has a proposal to actually address price gouging. I don't think it's likely to go anywhere unless Democrats win a trifecta in November, but Harris should really be emphasizing that this is what's driving economic frustration rather than the policies of the current administration.

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Saviour of Bread's avatar

Preach fella.

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Secret Agent Super Dragon's avatar

So how many people do you think are working on the Trump campaign solely to amass notes for a killer book deal? I'm guessing a lot.

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Major Is My Spirit Animal's avatar

Two problems:

1) Reich-wing grifter books only sell when some billionaire pumps up the numbers by ordering a couple semi trailers of them and

2) There's already too many in the $1 book bin at Walmart

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UVB-76's avatar

All that paper can be repurposed as cat litter. Fitting.

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Maybe's avatar

Not fair to the cats.

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UVB-76's avatar

Mine would be glad to use it.

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Wondering Woman's avatar

My Siamese: “I could shit on that”

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Ill-Advised's avatar

It's time to release the new edition of "I Could Pee On That" famous feline poetry and philosophy text!

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No Quid Bro Code's avatar

I’m guessing any unemployable lowlife with a significant Twitter account, money, and/or boobs that Donnie can lear at.

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Cryny's avatar

I can also appreciate significant boobs.

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UVB-76's avatar

Leer.

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arensb's avatar

"Kirk – who has become immensely wealthy in the process and lives in an Arizona estate worth millions on the grounds of a private country club"

Well, at least he's not a *coastal* elite.

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Maybe's avatar

Not till after the Big One hits.

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Darth Trad's avatar

They didn't end the diktat with 'MAGA!!'. So, they better be working on their resumes.

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Whale Chowder's avatar

"I didn't hear a harrumph outta that guy."

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Fender Deluxe's avatar

"You watch your ass."

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Bonnie's avatar

Hot story in the works: a glob of mashed potatoes thwopping down onto prisoner Dump's aluminum meal tray at Leavenworth

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UVB-76's avatar

Instant potatoes. Runny instant potatoes.

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Bonnie's avatar

Cold runny instant mashed potatoes thwopping down with a nasty splash onto the orange jumpsuit and pale blotchy face of the tray holder, inmate 372625.

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Chino Cherokee's avatar

Fuck all these ass-clowns.

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ManchuCandidate's avatar

That's part of the problem. No one wants to.

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Bonnie's avatar

Lol BINGO 🎯

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Revenant's avatar

If only somebody would, they might just possibly calm down a bit.

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Bonnie's avatar

Rosy Palm and her Four Fingers at best.

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Garden guy's avatar

Four fingers? That must be the upper-class fap, with pinky extended.

But I wouldn't know.

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