205 Comments
User's avatar
ahughes798's avatar

Your cat's not defective, he just doesn't have the military training of that other cat.

nick kelly's avatar

Maybe they'll get to have their picture taken with a life size photo of Trump- the closer for marks at TU

nick kelly's avatar

I, a Canadian, a loyal subject of QE II, wish to make one statement in defense of Trump- it is not logical that he would be prejudiced against people of color

Hardly Ideal's avatar

Not surprising, considering he's running for the presidency with the charisma and grace of a used car salesman who rolls back the odometer.

Erik Lonnrot's avatar

But make it an AK47 instead. Really classy.

Shananigan's avatar

But what were you wearing? Had you been drinking? And have you ever let dAnK_sOuLz_DeStRoYeR6969 or anybody else ever mow you down in the past? How many times? Did you even say no?

Brendan_M's avatar

Ammosexual Harassment

Shananigan's avatar

Can you eat cake? Cake can be made into donut shapes.

Paperless Tiger's avatar

'Circular firing squad' was just a figure of speech up to now.

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

Looking on the bright side, with Phillip's resignation there is an opening for a bright, motivated homicidal maniac in the North Carolina field office, preferably one who doesn't mind when his pay check bounces. I'm sure Tovarich Putin could find a likely candidate if nobody local applies.

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

Alas, even those cakes we like are a thing of the past. This agony started nearly fifteen years ago and naturally I blame (Michelle) Obama.

Hardly Ideal's avatar

I was wearing a full set of second-hand plate mail with the head of an armored boar as a helmet, and one sip- one fuckin' sip- from the same estus flask all the other undead these days are drinking.

So really, I guess I was asking for it. Seriously, as sexy as a rusty pickup truck.

Villago Delenda Est  🇺🇦's avatar

For one thing, they're armed. For another thing, they slept during the gun safety class.

Shananigan's avatar

Did you joint some sort of religious cult or..?