205 Comments

Your cat's not defective, he just doesn't have the military training of that other cat.

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Bonus Track

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Maybe they'll get to have their picture taken with a life size photo of Trump- the closer for marks at TU

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I, a Canadian, a loyal subject of QE II, wish to make one statement in defense of Trump- it is not logical that he would be prejudiced against people of color

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Not surprising, considering he's running for the presidency with the charisma and grace of a used car salesman who rolls back the odometer.

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But make it an AK47 instead. Really classy.

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But what were you wearing? Had you been drinking? And have you ever let dAnK_sOuLz_DeStRoYeR6969 or anybody else ever mow you down in the past? How many times? Did you even say no?

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Trump has the best people.

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Ammosexual Harassment

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Can you eat cake? Cake can be made into donut shapes.

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'Circular firing squad' was just a figure of speech up to now.

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Looking on the bright side, with Phillip's resignation there is an opening for a bright, motivated homicidal maniac in the North Carolina field office, preferably one who doesn't mind when his pay check bounces. I'm sure Tovarich Putin could find a likely candidate if nobody local applies.

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Alas, even those cakes we like are a thing of the past. This agony started nearly fifteen years ago and naturally I blame (Michelle) Obama.

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I was wearing a full set of second-hand plate mail with the head of an armored boar as a helmet, and one sip- one fuckin' sip- from the same estus flask all the other undead these days are drinking.

So really, I guess I was asking for it. Seriously, as sexy as a rusty pickup truck.

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For one thing, they're armed. For another thing, they slept during the gun safety class.

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Did you joint some sort of religious cult or..?

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