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werecat's avatar

Trump is playing to his braindead mob of supporters. Shhhh, they don't need to know about Putin not being able to respond because he no longer has much of an air wing...

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. Slava Ukraini. 🌻🇺🇦💙💛

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Stephanie Hobbs's avatar

He just wanted to sit in Pootie-Poo's lap and cuddle.

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Matthew Hembree's avatar

“What are you wearing?”

“A jacket, white shirt, dress pants, black shoes.”

“Ooooh dress slacks … those come off, you know.”

….. rustle rustle ….

“What are you wearing NOW?”

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Michael Bowen's avatar

My late RWNJ brother used to use the weird random caps on his FB posts, and he died before Agent Orange did his escalator ride. It bugged me because he had decent grades in English and had the same teachers I did, as he was only a year behind me. He also read for pleasure (mostly historical fiction like Bernard Cornwell), so he knew how English worked.

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Carolyn Enloe's avatar

OMG, this had me laughing until I cried! Thanks, Evan!

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Ukraine/Haitian's avatar

with tears in your eyes, bigly

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Carolyn Enloe's avatar

Definitely!

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Pisto75666's avatar

Have Elno and Taco started the slap-fighting portion of the program yet?

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JustDontSayDittos's avatar

"Trump’s pockmarked inner thighs"

GODDAMMITTT EVAN STOPPITT MY BRAIN MY BRAIN MY POOR BRAIN

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Carolyn Enloe's avatar

it is a horrifying image, isn't it?

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Hannah's avatar

Too many commas. No all caps. Some person had to stand there and type it waiting for tfg to finish.

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Lynn's avatar

They can keep each other company in hell

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Major Is My Spirit Animal's avatar

Ya gotta remember that the "conversation" only lasted about half as long as there was PAB gushing "Your Excellency, I was immediately and strongly shocked when I just heard about your tragic loss of many bigly strong airplanes, you know I've had many airplanes in fact I even owned an airline once and everyone said it was the best airline that they had ever seen and we had these incredible, I mean amazing stewardesses - back then you didn't have to call them attendants you could call them stewardesses and I personally selected each one and those airplanes had TRUMP on them in huge letters which was what I called the airline..." and that word salad had to be deciphered by the Russian translator and rendered into somewhat coherent sentences with filler created on the fly that didn't sound so stupid so as to seem like there was actual information being passed to Putie.

So yeah, all this took a while.

PAB was having flop sweat bc Putie didn't call him right away, but that was mostly because he hates the "weave".

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Carolyn Enloe's avatar

Priceless description...sadly I can hear it in my head...

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Erisian's avatar

"President Bitchass is flailing"

Of course the Fulvous Fuckwad is flailing. POTUS, or any leader for that matter, needs a plan... not a concept of an idea for a plan... beyond vengeance and, in the words of Tom Lehrer, "More, more, I'm still not satisfied!"

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"by Ukraine, and also various other attacks that have been taking place by both sides"

As is typical, Mooseballs Mussolini doesn't grok the difference between Ukraine targeting military installations and Vladimir Vladimirovich's preference for attacking civilians and critical civilian infrastructures. "🎵 One of these things is not like the other🎵"

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"Oh boy, did Zelenskyy have the cards!"

Please see https://counterpoint.substack.com/p/pride-month-edition cartoon number five.

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"Presidential aide Yury Ushakov said Trump felt the need to reassure Putin that the US didn’t know about the Ukrainian attacks beforehand."

And just why would Zelensky give the Amber Ardipithecus ramidus ***any*** info on war plans? The Mango Malignancy, maintaining plausible deniability, would tell his DNI (another Russian Asset), and she'll pick up her direct line to the Kremlin and give them the head's up.

fnord

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

Just had soft chicken tacos for lunch. Delicious.

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Barbara Williams's avatar

FUCK OFF DONNIE

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Are We There Yet?'s avatar

There’s no way Trump wrote that tweet (truth, wtf ever). That had to be one of his staff. It’s way too organized and coherent.

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Karen Krebser's avatar

"I just finished speaking, by telephone, with President Vladimir Putin, of Russia."

So, hey, Mr. Stable Genius, how the fuck else are you going to speak with him? Would you perhaps release your brain worms into the internet and let them travel, TRON-like, over to his super-sekrit Faux-Commie Batcave (NO GIRLS ALLOWED EW!)? Or maybe you got into your Oval Office transporter tube and disassembled yourself into your core pixels so that you could travel the microwaves over to his Kremlin Kitchen Microwave to be reassembled but only tiny like Mike TeeVee in Willy Wonka? I hope Comrade HA HA Von Putin was able to hear you with your teeny-tiny screechy Mike TeeVee voice!

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