Trump Declares War On America

Deportations and Cruelty Will Continue Until Morale Improves!

While we were preparing your regularly scheduled Sunday shows rundown, the wannabe dictator decided to try to graduate to a full-fledged one.

At 8:43 PM/EST, Trump posted this on his fossilized social media platform, TruthSocial:

Truth Details | Truth Social

Read it? If not, never fear! We are trained to break down these unhinged manifestos from MAGA freaks, thanks to our weekly reps doing just that!

Trump began his screed by asking everyone to please think about the feelings of the poor ICE officers as they tear families apart, try to lie to get access to elementary schools, and “bravely” arrest judges and plaintiffs in courthouses.

Our Nation’s ICE Officers have shown incredible strength, determination, and courage as they facilitate a very important mission, the largest Mass Deportation Operation of Illegal Aliens in History. Every day, the Brave Men and Women of ICE are subjected to violence, harassment, and even threats […]

And by “children” we mean ICE, not the actual children being hurt by DHS/ICE.

But Trump quickly shifted gear to justify his authoritarian decree under a bullshit guise of legitimacy.

[…] nothing will stop us from executing our mission, and fulfilling our Mandate to the American People.

Republicans have the smallest majority ever in the House of Representatives, only helped by Democratic lawmakers literally dying in office to support their margin. Trump won by the lowest plurality of any president since we started keeping track. But this is the game the GOP, helped along by an all-too-willing media, always play. Republicans always have a “mandate” while Democrats always have to “reach to the other side,” even when they win a governing trifecta.

Then Trump decided to channel a TEMU Moses as he decreed his commandments from Mount Facist.

ICE Officers are herewith ordered, by notice of this TRUTH, to do all in their power to achieve the very important goal of delivering the single largest Mass Deportation Program in History.

Trump elaborated further where he wanted to begin his roundups, and you’ll be shocked at the places he chose…

In order to achieve this, we must expand efforts to detain and deport Illegal Aliens in America’s largest Cities, such as Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York, where Millions upon Millions of Illegal Aliens reside.

Did we say “shocked”? We meant entirely predictable and made even more so by Trump removing the fig leaf of why he chose these cities.

These, and other such Cities, are the core of the Democrat Power Center, where they use Illegal Aliens to expand their Voter Base, cheat in Elections, and grow the Welfare State, robbing good paying Jobs and Benefits from Hardworking American Citizens.

We know it’s tiring to play the “what if” game regarding things Trump has said/done, but try to imagine a Democratic president saying openly and proudly that he would be sending federal agents to target the “Republican Power Center” in Texas, Florida, and Ohio. We would be in the midst of a new civil war before he'd finished saying those words, and there would be countless pieces questioning the divisiveness or mental faculties of said Democratic president, while they are oddly silent now.

But we do, Jake.

Trump then accused the “Radical Left Democrats” of being “sick of mind” and that “there is something wrong with them,” with zero self-awareness, while going into his normal Trump rally schtick about them hating America and destroying inner cities. But then he decided to create an even weirder strawman while justifying his mass deportations and masked ICE raids.

That is why they believe in Open Borders, Transgender for Everybody, and Men playing in Women’s Sports […]

WTFuck do trans people have to do with this?! The answer is nothing, but Trump always has to throw red meat to his rabid sycophants. It’s like Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Freebird” but for transphobic bigots … or Lynyrd Skynyrd’s audience.

Trump added this platitude to make the dog whistle-listening base feel special.

You don’t hear about Sanctuary Cities in our Heartland!

You also don’t hear a lot about great education, evolution, and food seasoning but we don’t base our nation’s laws or rights on what the “heartland” feels.

Trump concluded his ramblings by once again stroking the fragile ego of his fascist state agents and letting them know they had his full support.

I want our Brave ICE Officers to know that REAL Americans are cheering you on every day. […] To ICE, FBI, DEA, ATF, the Patriots at Pentagon and the State Department, you have my unwavering support. Now go, GET THE JOB DONE! DJT

I know we are used to the media and a rubber-stamping Republican Congress taking these seriously, but here’s a reminder for everyone.

Trump is reminded of this every time courts, the only checks and balances branch of our government doing their duty, rule he’s not a monarch.

One question remains: Why did Trump write this “truth,” outside of a cheeseburger heartburn-fueled craze?

Our best guess is that watching the dual juxtaposition of his disappointing regime parade masquerading as an Army celebration and nationwide protests on his birthday saying “Fuck you! No Kings!” just broke him.

“Best In The World” WWE wrestler CM Punk being at one in Chicago had to piss him off considering his friendship with McMahon/Lavesque family.

Well, more than he was already.

Reading Trump’s manifesto, we were reminded of a different manifesto. One that perfectly captures the brittle weakness exuding from Trump’s attempts at “strongman” messaging.

Keep rebelling. Keep trying. Stay united. They are broken and will be defeated.

Have a week.

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