342 Comments
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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Giving batshit a bad name.

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DemoCat's avatar

God prevented the internet and social media as long as he could so that toxic people couldn’t so readily find each other.

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motmelere's avatar

Super genius in a super fit package wrapped in the hoogest pile of money on the planet. Don't hate me for being the most beautiful entity in the universe, hate me for all the crimes I did.

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Spleen Victoria's avatar

I was unaware you could win impeachment. You’d think he’d be getting sick of all the winning at this point.

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Mr. Foobar's avatar

He won TWO impeachments! I wonder what else he'll win ...

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Interesting that Trump seems to be the first one to bring up the idea of cheating on his golf score.

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DemoCat's avatar

Just like the greatest athletes in history do when they give their historic remarks. “I did ALL this WITHOUT cheating!” A 67. For 18 holes. A man whose entire life is so false that he ceased to exist long ago. Surely he broke the world record for an 18 hole regulation course by now. It must all mean so much to him.

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zb23's avatar

we should do an Ex-Presidents Golf Tournament for charity. it'll be cool to see Trump absolutely dominate live on broadcast TV. should be no problem for him and he definitely won't make some inane excuse not to participate.

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zb23's avatar

where did this new one billion thing come from? it should be startlingly easy to prove that Joe Biden has one billion dollars. especially seeing at he is so senile and incompetent and can barely tie his shoes.

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Blanche de Shambles's avatar

Wait- can his security detail...shoot him if he gets caught improving his lie or not recording his penalties?

I really gotta review the Former Presidents Act!

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Edgar Allen Shmoe's avatar

Wow, I didn’t know Bedminster was a miniature golf course. Do you get a free round if you hit the ball in the clown’s mouth on #18?

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Anzu's avatar

My first thought was that the tournament was only for 9 holes.

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Revenant's avatar

No doubt he golfs as good as he spells.

And OHJB is a better person, a better athlete, and a better and more legitimate President than that foul old bag of noxious gases could ever hope to be, not that he would, he is so pleased with his revolting villainy.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

Trump cheats at everything: Golf, elections, marriages, etc. His entire philosophy of life is, “if you don’t cheat, you’re an idiot.”

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Karen Krebser's avatar

FASCHISTS! MARKSCHISTS! COMMUNISCHISTS! ALL THE SCHISTS! EVERYTHING IS SCHISTS!

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DemoCat's avatar

All those damn ideologies are so hard on the denture cream.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Maybe his denture wasn't sitting quite right while he was typing.

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Colbert Thorenson's avatar

His competition for the back nine was just Baron's legally blind piano teacher and a German Shorthair with a pitching wedge Velcroed to his tail.

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lmurr's avatar

"IMPEACH the BUM! Why I have a mind to Sock that STIFF right in the Kisser! YOU better Believe it BUB!"

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Remember, he grew up in a time when the Dodgers were in Brooklyn.

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Lyndsey Loves tRump Farts's avatar

Be still, my hanky lanky heart! Such an impressive athlete!

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

Is 67 good? I don't know what a standard hanky to lanky ratio looks like. Anyway, but of luck to you, Mr. Never Gonna Be President* again. Maybe I'll do some hanky to lanky research once I get back from my afternoon slab-trickle.

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DemoCat's avatar

Yep, 67 for 18 holes is PGA material. No golfer since Montgomery Burns has been so incredible as to strain credulity.

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