As a reminder, gentle readers: Martha Stewart went to the federal pokey for five months for lying to federal investigators and obstruction of justice related to insider trading (for which she was never actually convicted). For something amounting to roughly $230,000 in stock.
We were such innocents back then to think this was a big huge deal.
Trump's comment to Douthat justifying all his dirty profiteering just sticks in my craw. I can see the fry chunks spewing out of his hole when he says it. That should be the epitaph for his ill-gotten presidency. The national memorial hole that we will dedicate, at the location where BALLROOM will be torn down and all remnants removed, should be named the National You Should’ve Owned Stock Monument, so we never forget.
I am so fucking sick of this fucking fuck and his grifty, shitty ways, and I am doubly sick of all his enablers—the entire GOP and everyone who voted for them.
***Of course Nutlick is a man and Trump has famously only fired women from his administration so far. But someone has to be first, so why not this mouthy bearded freak?***
“Hey boss, I'm starting to remember some more details about our time hanging with Jeffrey Epstein.”
“Fuck you, you can stay. But find me a way to blame this on Linda McMahon.”
>>Meanwhile, Trump defenders are falling all over themselves claiming that we don’t know if Alice Huang is even a spy, or an asset, or a convenient patsy, or just a fantastic piece of ass,
Here's my theory.
China probably has some people that go around and compile dossiers on our top executives, politicians, etc., to see if they can find any obvious flaws in these people, so they can exploit them. They probably did some digging on Jensen Huang and found out he goes around and sticks his dick in a lot of women who aren't his wife.
Alice Huang probably didn't emerge out of whatever the spy agency in China is called. The Chinese likely thought "Hey this guy seems like he would fall into a honey trap pretty easily. Do we have any hot babe tech executives we can recruit for this?" and that's where Alice comes in.
"we don’t know if Alice Huang is even a spy, or an asset, or a convenient patsy, or just a fantastic piece of ass"
AOT,K!
Twenty-nine years just waiting for a chance
To launch into my spiel and maybe get a Trumpy glance
But instead I was the dude who gave a software back door to Alice
ALICE? WHO THE FUCK IS ALICE?!?
Commerce was reportedly investigating Megaspeed, the dodgy company run by Alice Huang that was allegedly smuggling Nvidia chips to China. But then .. they got a call from Nvidia. "Tim Teter, Nvidia’s general counsel, said that Jeff Kessler, a top official at the department, had given Nvidia permission to reach out about the case." And that was a BFD, because Kessler, a Trump appointee, was the boss of those doing the investigation. The result of that was transferring the investigation to DOJ, where I guess it still is, maybe picking up steam now the shit's hit the fan and gone public (https://www.nytimes.com/2026/11/09/business/economy/nvidia-megaspeed-investigation-huang.html?unlocked_article_code=1.QFE.y3cQ.OeaOUFib_a3l&smid=url-share). As for Megaspeed itself, Bloomberg is all over the story now, detailing how it was part of a complex web of companies involved in smuggling Nvidia chips (https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-11-13/banned-nvidia-chips-installed-at-china-data-center-linked-to-alice-huang?accessToken=eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJzb3VyY2UiOiJTdWJzY3JpYmVyR2lmdGVkQXJ0aWNsZSIsImlhdCI6MTc5NDU5ODk3MywiZXhwIjoxNzk1MjAzNzczLCJhcnRpY2xlSWQiOiJUT0MwWVNUOTZPU0swMCIsImJjb25uZWN0SWQiOiI2NjFBNzJDRUEwNUQ0Mzc3QkJBQjdBRTg1NzVERTc3MyJ9.aYMKCFoXCPb-wRCZ0-pQRaWRJdbvkv4H6ZRGt0OgcT8). To recap, Jensen Huang was literally in bed with a woman who was deep into smuggling his company's ship to China, said illegal activity resulting in $$ for Nvidia, and strings were pulled at Commerce to stall investigation into that. This would be a BFD and a scandal even if Alice Huang were not an actual intelligence asset. Also note all this is putting Nvidia and its ex-CEO potentially in a lot of legal jeopardy.
To be fair, Trump has struggled with the question of being an agent of a foreign or a useful idiot most of his adult life . . .
Except for the "struggling" aspect, yes.
"struggling TO"
*why-not-both.gif*
Why not both?
As a reminder, gentle readers: Martha Stewart went to the federal pokey for five months for lying to federal investigators and obstruction of justice related to insider trading (for which she was never actually convicted). For something amounting to roughly $230,000 in stock.
We were such innocents back then to think this was a big huge deal.
Only women bleed . . .
Now you invoke Alice? Ok, nice job.
“Yuh shoulda owned STOCK.”
Trump's comment to Douthat justifying all his dirty profiteering just sticks in my craw. I can see the fry chunks spewing out of his hole when he says it. That should be the epitaph for his ill-gotten presidency. The national memorial hole that we will dedicate, at the location where BALLROOM will be torn down and all remnants removed, should be named the National You Should’ve Owned Stock Monument, so we never forget.
An administration filled with Nathan Therms and Irwin Mainways.
I am so fucking sick of this fucking fuck and his grifty, shitty ways, and I am doubly sick of all his enablers—the entire GOP and everyone who voted for them.
***Of course Nutlick is a man and Trump has famously only fired women from his administration so far. But someone has to be first, so why not this mouthy bearded freak?***
“Hey boss, I'm starting to remember some more details about our time hanging with Jeffrey Epstein.”
“Fuck you, you can stay. But find me a way to blame this on Linda McMahon.”
Time to dump the pump-and-dump crew before the big investigations.
>>Meanwhile, Trump defenders are falling all over themselves claiming that we don’t know if Alice Huang is even a spy, or an asset, or a convenient patsy, or just a fantastic piece of ass,
Here's my theory.
China probably has some people that go around and compile dossiers on our top executives, politicians, etc., to see if they can find any obvious flaws in these people, so they can exploit them. They probably did some digging on Jensen Huang and found out he goes around and sticks his dick in a lot of women who aren't his wife.
Alice Huang probably didn't emerge out of whatever the spy agency in China is called. The Chinese likely thought "Hey this guy seems like he would fall into a honey trap pretty easily. Do we have any hot babe tech executives we can recruit for this?" and that's where Alice comes in.
The company didn't know about the affair, but they surely knew about the chip sales. All this seems like an afterthought to me.
Bingo. This is very basic spycraft.
She may be a motivated asset if the Chinese caught her doing something illegal.
It’s China. They had a mafia when Europeans were still living in thatched huts.
Who did he wang, and wang did he knew it?
Nutlick and Bessent will leaving soon to spend more time with their winnings.
And none of us are SHOCKED!
Dude. My shocked face is now completely borked.
Like this?
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!goFq!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fmedia_upload%2Fcomment%2F2518bfd2-fbe4-4b83-82ab-9fbc08ce3bb4%2F1d3b3a4b-432b-4d1c-9da5-dd3791ebf6f4.webp
I'm glad I wasn't eating, but yes.
🎷🎵🎶How was I to know she was with the Chinese too?🎶🎵🎷
That joke NEEDED to be made, and now I’m disappointed with myself.
Gotta be old enough, but not too old.
Being sarcastic as hell helps too.
I suppose we should coin an adage "Trump has to bomb SOMETHING in order to make money" . . .
they took the debate to the Oval Office, where President Donald Trump agreed for a third time that it should happen.
“Luckily, Trump has the medium-term memory of a grapefruit, so nothing happened.”
They are all part of the Epstein class! All crooks and pedo protectors
Fact Check: true.