354 Comments
User's avatar
Alice B Toklas's avatar

You know what’s really cool about Trump? He is the universal expert on how to ruin everything any kinda normal person might like, or pursue, or do…and half of the voting population are all in. He, and his minions, all need to have died of natural (or whatever) causes, because Jesus is fucking screaming it to me RIGHT NOW.

Thank you, I feel better now….this has been a hypothetical public service message from a loyal, law-abiding, 74 year-old, don’t fuck with me person. Peace to everyone, except anyone who supports one iota of these Nazis’ vision.

Expand full comment
Marycat2021's avatar

Trump never stops embarrassing himself. He threw the old ghoul under the bus years ago, but ol' Rudy is still good for a distraction, I guess.

Expand full comment
Rick Jacobs's avatar

Well, giving that old fucker a (now) worthless medal, is a clever way of TACO getting around having to pay Ghouliani what he owes him.

Expand full comment
LOU LOU's avatar

One accidental good thing that has come as a result of Trump time are the multiple revelations of the true nature of cultural icons such as Rudy. Once upon a time the Medal of Freedom meant that a person had done what is virtuous. Trump reveals that the medal and so much more never was virtuous but rather fake virtue signalling, American style.

Expand full comment
Enter Ranting's avatar

Roodles will try to sell that medal on Ebay immediately upon receipt.

Expand full comment
Always Be Ithacating's avatar

Most surprising Trump pick for Presidential Medal of Freedom so far: Babe Didrikson Zaharias (2021).

Expand full comment
Lois B's avatar

Since, Pedophile Trump helped Rudy Giuliani go bankrupt, because Rudy Giuliani was trying to help Pedophile Trump, by “lying” about 2 voter workers adding votes. Rudy is “owed” something. Moreover Pedophile Trump “ain’t” going to give Rudy a “dime” of those “crypto” billions.

Expand full comment
Stephen St John's avatar

I think we can summarize the reasons(s) Dump is giving GiulianI the Medal down to "Giuliani's apice of sh*t, just like Dump." Plus it'll piss off the libs. Always a major consideration for these traitors.

Expand full comment
Marycat2021's avatar

I'm not pissed. We're way past the time he gave the medal to Rush Limbaugh, which made the medal pretty much worthless.

Expand full comment
Bupkus231's avatar

"...One day the history books, if such are allowed to exist, will put big old asterisks next to these things to signify that they don’t count if Donald Trump awarded them...."

I say that "one day" should be TODAY. Anything the Felonious Fuck says or does is nothing but a stain on the name of the US.

Expand full comment
gratuitous's avatar

Anybody know what that medal might fetch on the open market? Asking for Ruby and Shaye.

Expand full comment
Gammarae's avatar

oh rudy, thanks for the memories! i'll never be able to hear "4 seasons" again without laughing out loud.

and you know he never saw a dime of that pardon money trump was supposed to split with him, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! thanks for the new memory, rudy!

Expand full comment
Craig Nixon's avatar

Frankie Valli is ruined forever.

Well, this and that goddam falsetto.

Expand full comment
Satanic Pancake's avatar

The Medal of Freedom is in lieu of payment for services (poorly) rendered.

Expand full comment
Alternative Dog's avatar

“For everything your father did for New York City, for going after the mob, ..."

I've said it before and I'll say it again: he didn't go after the mob, he went after the competition.

Expand full comment
Erisian's avatar

“As President of the United States of America, I am pleased to announce that Rudy Giuliani, the greatest Mayor in the history of New York City, and an equally great American Patriot, will receive THE PRESIDENTIAL MEDAL OF FREEDOM, our Country’s highest civilian honor. Details as to time and place to follow. Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!”

* Giuliani hit his peak in the aftermath of 9/11 and he's been going downhill ever since. (Not to make light of it, but maybe the toxic atmosphere around the disaster zone screwed his head.)

* Rudy has not come within the range of fallout from a nuclear explosion of being a "Patriot." Only in the perverted mind of the Fulvous Fuckwad would anyone who accepted the Big Lie and did everything they could to make the autogolpe successful is a patriot. Someone willing to put their reputation and future to back him and lie for him is a patriot. Standing in support of the Constitution, thinking that immigrants are necessary, fighting against the cowardly ICEholes (if they thought that they were doing what's right would they hide their faces in fear of being doxed?), being truly "America First" and not just using the slogan to rile up the base is the antithesis of a real patriot.

* The Halloween Orange Hemorrhoid must feel a tingle run up his leg when he considers destroying cherished institutions and flip flopping on what is or isn't deemed an honor:

◾ The Presidential Medal of Freedom has been severely tarnished by the the recipients chosen by the Deep Saffron Dipstick. Of the 24 Medals he gave during his first admin, twelve went to athletes, one to a Representative who was an athlete prior to running, one singer/actor (Elvis), two pols who did nothing to deserve the honor (other than being a willing tool: Jordan and Nunes), and a political commentator.

◾ Giuliani is the only recipient during the Carrot Chancre's second admin (but I'm sure a shitload of other undeserving recipients are to come)

* When (if?) the Corrupt Coral Coward leaves office I expect him to demand the medal from whoever occupies the Oval Office after him. He's probably pissed that two recent POTUSs have been honorees, both Dems: Bill Clinton and Barak Obama (two of his absolutely favorite people in the world), and that there's no way of rescinding the award. So, the next best thing is for him to get the medal.

* I realize that the Sociopathic Marigold Swamp Monster considers himself a businessman par excellent (not really), but since when does a POTUS sign anything with "Thank you for your attention to this matter[?]"

* I can't wait until my eyes stop bleeding from the overexposure to "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN."

fnord

Expand full comment
Appalachian in Thailand's avatar

I'm waiting for him to give it to Ashley Babbitt (may she burn in hell)

.

Expand full comment
Stephen St John's avatar

Trump supporters are about the farthest thing from patriots I can imagine. They make a mockery of everything.

Expand full comment
Goonemeritus's avatar

I don't want to make any assumptions, but last time he gave one of those it was to Rush Limbaugh, and then Rush went "tits up"

Expand full comment
Stephen St John's avatar

Don't give me false hope.

Expand full comment
Satanic Pancake's avatar

GIVE RUDY ANOTHER ONE, MR. PRESIDENT! GIVE HIM ANOTHER ONE!!!1

Expand full comment
Mr Beeep's avatar

Reclaiming my tits!

How many times did he try that at the GOO convention?

Expand full comment