506 Comments
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Jacqueline Klein's avatar

The problem with that is if trump himself doesn’t pull the trigger, anyone who does can be prosecuted. I think that’s the point when the military stops taking illegal orders. The “I was only following orders” didn’t work for the nazis and I doubt it will work for them.

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Marcie. Why the fuck does Noem have a private jet at her disposal? Is she using it for a bathroom, since no one decent will let her use their facilities?

Jude's avatar

There IS unrest in Portland! There ARE outside agitators! There IS great potential for mass violence, provoked by the use of arms and chemical weapons! Just don’t mention that it’s all down to an alphabet soup of ICE, CBP, FBI, paramilitary “Federal Police”, masked, helmeted, outfitted in full tactical gear and eagerly deploying teargas and pepper balls because they don’t need no stinkin’ de-escalation.

This force has been recruited with five-figure bonuses. Many of them probably could not pass a criminal background check or explain their mission or supporting policies..

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Do you think the Nobel Peace Prize committee is watching his goons tear gas pastors and dudes in frog costumes?

Nemo's avatar

I think I can explain why conservative brains glitch out. It's all those fairy strokes. I got the following lowdown from Google AI:

Key aspects of the fairy stroke:

Causes:

Fairies were thought to inflict these conditions by "shooting" people with invisible fairy darts or creating a sudden "fairy eddy" or "fairy wind".

Symptoms:

A fairy stroke could result in symptoms such as paralysis, blindness, madness, or permanent lameness.

Mythical context:

It was a common belief that a victim might be replaced by a fairy simulacrum, or that a person could be "carried away" to the fairy world.

Irish connection:

In Ireland, the term was associated with ill fate or destiny, particularly for those born during the time of Pentecost, a concept known as kinkisha.

Modern usage:

The word "stroke" to describe a sudden paralytic seizure in humans is directly linked to the old belief in the fairy stroke.

Lindsey Graham and Scott Bessent seem to be agents of fairyland.

pskbh's avatar

Sorry. I'm not reading anything ai.

I respect your efforts.

Hank Napkin's avatar

"Immer" -- German for "Always"

"Gut" -- German for "Good"

John Strycharz's avatar

They lost at the Alamo, they lost at Gettysburg, and they'll lose in Chicago. Fucking losers.

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

"Be sure to check out the basement."

Banana Hammer's avatar

"There's no basement at the Alamo! Ha ha ha ha ha"

Bat In The Belfry's avatar

That’s just what they WANT you to think…

Nemo's avatar

What? Of course there is! It's the same as at Comet Ping Pong Pizzeria.

Khavrinen's avatar

"Can’t wait to hear what legal justifications DOJ lawyers come up with in court"

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The only "legal justification" Trump EVER thinks he needs for doing things is "'Cuz I'm the President, and I wanna."

Rad's avatar

Oh! If you think he's bad now, wait'll he sees that today is the anniversary of Obama getting his Nobel Peace Prize!!! Ketchup will be flung tonight! https://apnews.com/today-in-history/october-9

Banana Hammer's avatar

After announcing "the first phase" of the Gaza cease fire, Trump is already salivating over his Nobel. Little does he know that there are no MAGAbichos in the committee that decides this honorific. Just intellectuals (and thus not MAGA) who fucking hate him and don't give a damn that he sat around and mumbled stupid shit while the actual participants of this conflict hammered it out.

Linda Osika's avatar

If ICE ICE puppy killer Barbie nabbed the girlfriend of the founders of antifa, I hope they have oxygen handy, cause that gurl gotta be oolllldddd.(antifa , is a decentralized movement, lacks a formal hierarchy or membership, and has been around since like, the 1930's).

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

Auntie Fah

Banana Hammer's avatar

I am avowedly anti-fascist. Yet I have never... 1) been given an antifa membership card (none exists), 2) seen or distributed antifa literature (none exists), 3) attended, witnessed or heard of an antifa meeting (none exists), 4) and until dumbfuck DHS SEC opened her puppy-killing mouth, had never heard of a such thing as the "antifa leader" or "his antifa girlfriend" (because none exists). Yet supposedly it's as lethal and well organized as Hamas.

Alternative Dog's avatar

𝗜𝗖𝗬𝗠𝗜: 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗴𝗼 𝗛𝗮𝗱 𝗦𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗲 ‘𝟲𝟬𝘀

𝘈 𝘞𝘉𝘌𝘡 𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳 2025 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘨𝘰 𝘪𝘯 60 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴.

https://www.chicago.gov/city/en/depts/mayor/press_room/press_releases/2025/september/safest-summer-since-1965.html

Tessie's avatar

"Maybe Tina Kotek is that girlfriend of the founder of Antifa Noem says she met?"

`

Since Gov. Kotek is an out lesbian, surprise twist: Our Founder is ALSO a girl!

Oh, darn. Now I've gone and spilled the beans.

littlerice vice's avatar

WELL! JUST GO BACK AND CLEAN UP YOUR MESS! Little Miss TESSIE!

Tessie's avatar

Far be it from me to be a MESSY TEssie.

::sweeps up beans::

Banana Hammer's avatar

Lesbian antifa leaders are my favorite kind of antifa leaders.

Brianna Amore's avatar

The Dictator's Playbook:

Step 1: Fabricate a problem

Step 2: Provoke a violent reaction

Step 3: Send in the military

Step 4: Provoke more violent reactions

Step 5: Invoke martial law

Worked for the Nazis, after all.

Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Is the mayor of Chicago Black or a woman? I really don’t know but assume one or both since “low IQ.”

Edit: Black, per the Google machine. This is an easy game.

fuflans's avatar

brandon johnson is a black former educator.

while i voted for him, i did not love his tenure as mayor. until now. once again everything trump touches is transformed.

Banana Hammer's avatar

I read that and thought exact same thing.

Tessie's avatar

Women are "nasty".

POC are "Low IQ".

For someone who's constantly insulting people, he doesn't have much of a repertoire of insults.

Banana Hammer's avatar

To be fair, women are also "his type" or "not his type."

Rocket Cat's avatar

Magas are Low SAT