We Watched Clips Of That Damn Trump/Hannity Interview So You Don't Have To

Don't worry, it's not like we watched the whole interview or anything.

Donald Trump's time-out from Fox News is apparently over, because he got to have a great big sexxxy love-in with Sean Hannity last night. As we all know from the Dominion texts and emails, no matter how much Fox News might claim to hate Donald Trump -- and we believe them when they say they do -- their fear that their viewership is controlled by Trump outweighs all that.

So back into the fold you come, Trump! Sorry, Ron DeSantis. You didn't think Fox News was going to do a real long-term relationship with you, did you? You were just something to do while they were tusslin' with Trump. Womp womp.

So that Hannity interview, Jesus bugfuckin' Christ.

The reaction from the Laura Ingraham show afterward seemed to be that Trump came off as a whinyassed bellyaching cow, which for the record is how he's always come off, since long before he waddled down that elevator in 2015 and ruined the world.

Anyway.

Let's see how briefly we can summarize this fucking horse shit.

 Trump babbled that the Manhattan DA's investigation is a "new way of cheating on elections." This is the only reason he announced he was running so early, so he could claim that any accountability he faces is "electoral interference." He also thinks the Mar-a-Lago raid was "election interference." (He thinks he's beating everybody in the polls, even though he is a perennial loser, and therefore this is the only way they can beat him.)

 Trump claimed the press "admitted" that 25 to 30 thousand people attended his Waco rally, and said that means you have to double that to get to the real number. ( The real number was between 15 and 18 thousand.)

 Trump talked about the small matter of the picture he posted of him looking like an idiot holding a baseball bat next to a picture of Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, which people very reasonably took as a threat of or incitement to violence. He claimed that "they" put up that picture of him with the bat. He didn't do it, "they" did it. Trump didn't know that "they" were going to use that picture.

 Listen to this shit:  

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"You have to understand that when the story was put up, we didn't see pictures, we put up a story that was very exculpatory, very good story from the standpoint of what we're talking about," Trump said.

"They put up a picture of me where I was holding the baseball bat at the White House...Then they put next to that picture, a picture of Alvin Bragg. I didn't do it. They did it.

"We posted the story, but they had a picture up, they then put a picture up, or the picture was put up that nobody noticed or saw or that nobody thought it was bad," Trump added. "These were two separate pictures."

"I was promoting 'Made in America,' you make these baseball bats instead of sending them over to Japan and China...This was a company, a good company, that makes baseball bats and other things like that in America. They took that picture from the White House and then they put a picture of Alvin Bragg up."

Sure, old man, you betcha. "They" did that.

And he said that when he posted that "death and destruction" would follow if he was indicted, he wasn't ordering people to "do something bad," he merely meant that "I'm AFRAID that people WILL do something, because people are very angry about it!" Plus a bunch of stream-of-consciousness brain salad imagination lies about how even his worst enemies say he's innocent, blah blah, you've heard it.

To put that in context, Michael Cohen once memorably testified about how Trump always gave his orders in code, like a mob boss.

Wonder if mob bosses get "AFRAID" that bad things are going to happen.

NO CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS! NO CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS! YOU ARE THE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS!

 Trump said Joe Biden has bigger problems with classified documents than he does, and Hannity said Hillary Clinton has the most problems of all. (LOL.) Trump said Hillary should also be prosecuted for "dossier." (LOL.)

Trump thinks Joe Biden had ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED FIFTY BOXES of classified documents at his Delaware house. ( Here is the truth about what Trump's mangled brain was trying to allude to.) Also: "They say he's getting paid off by China, and he's got boxes in Chinatown." (LOL.)

 Trump said there are people who didn't support him before, but now they do, because of the raid on Mar-a-Lago. (Do they call him "sir"?)

 Here is Trump fantasizing about a world where lots of great lawyers are just banging down his doors wanting to represent him.

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 Here is Trump saying he can take any documents home he wants -- "I have the right to take stuff!" -- and Hannity being like BUT YOU WOULDN'T! and Trump being like BUT I CAN! and Hannity being like STOP IT! OH MY GOD STOP TALKING!

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 Here is Trump bitching that his lawyers with the "boxes hoax" have to "reveal every conversation with a client." He guarantees Joe Biden is not dealing with the same thing.

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What's next? If the crime-fraud exception breaks privilege for Trump's lawyers, it could break it for your lawyers!

You know, like, if you're committing crimes!

It is a outrage and a double standard!

You want the DeSantis shit? Here's the DeSantis shit.

Trump said he and Ron DeSantis have never been friends, but that DeSantis begged for his endorsement and he had "tears in his eyes" and he was "desperate." Trump said without his endorsement DeSantis would be working in a "pizza parlor place."

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So that was the DeSantis shit.

In summary and in conclusion!

Finally, there was also some babbling Russian propaganda shit about Ukraine because there always is, the end.

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And once that doesn't exist, I'm also giving things a go at the Mastodon (@evanhurst@newsie.social) and at Post! 

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