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Aocm🇨🇦🇺🇦🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

This is so funny “will execute on the president’s historic vision” Execution on the National Mall!

Enter Ranting's avatar

"A pedophile-protecting Epstein Files-starring crime-fraud-grifting piece of shit like me!”

You forgot actual rapist.

Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Brilliant.

Whoever was in charge of this dumpster fuck must hate America. Otherwise why wouldn’t they book at least one funnel cake truck?

Also nothing says America like not allowing water bottles whilst selling water in plastic bottles for $7 a pop.

Enter Ranting's avatar

Purple snack bar magesties…

MRobtheMathSnob's avatar

I drove through W. North Dakota on the 30th, and I have to say the amount of state troopers was super irritating. Normally, I can crank it to 90 mph through the Medora section of the state, but nooooooooo, there were cops at every single median cut through to thwart my plans. Also, too, have any of you ever been to Medora to watch the musical? It's tough to find online, and I'm super curious to know if it's worth it.

Hank Napkin's avatar

Considering that the British surrender did not occur until October 19, 1781 we are technically 5 years and 107 days short of the semiquincentennial, by which time Donald J.Trump will have fuckal to say about it.

Hank Napkin's avatar

TOMORROW'S HEADLINE TODAY

"President faints in unprecedented heat fueled by climate change"

"We expect him to regain consciousness in time for the midterms," says aide.

Enter Ranting's avatar

He'll lie in state in a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise.

Hank Napkin's avatar

Buried in a Bucket. XX Large.

Hollysdower's avatar

*throws panties at Evan*

Goonemeritus's avatar

Fake news! Trump doesn't look a day older than 125!

beb's avatar

I'm so old I remember when people would quip, "what if they had a war and nobody came?" That sounds exactly like this epic failure of a National State Fair.

BlueSpot's avatar

"Freedom 250 will execute on the president’s historic vision”.

I read that as "Freedom 250 will execute the president,” and thought "that will certainly bring in the crowds."

T L Mills's avatar

that gave me a laugh, thx!

Enter Ranting's avatar

Immediately followed by massive, days-long celebrations worldwide.

Hank Napkin's avatar

Trump, well hung.

Donald Laporte's avatar

If dipshit actually shows up he will snore through the "greatest most incredible beyond terrific fireworks show in history".

Hank Napkin's avatar

"greatest most incredible beyond terrific fireworks show in history...cough".

M-X's avatar

We've got Jack Smith on Deadline right now, being actually human, he just laughed!, instead of his usual Grand Inquisitor and it is astonishing. I'll take one of each, thanks.

Please, if there are Gods, let us have this prosecutor of righteousness back, to bring Hell to this criminal, traitorous GOP and all this regime, before any (more) of us die.

el duderino's avatar

DC haz state fair

DC does not haz statehood

No fair

Hank Napkin's avatar

This style of play is referred to as "Détaché"

Chino Cherokee's avatar

1. HEAT

2. SPEECH

3. DEATH

4. FUCKING GLOBAL CELEBRATION!!!

Enter Ranting's avatar

2.5 COMEDIC FLAILING, FOLLOWED BY A TUMBLE OFF THE FRONT OF THE STAGE AND LANDING IN A DRUM KIT.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

19th century San Francisco politician James Lick also dreamed of grand monuments in his honor. At one point he proposed building a giant pyramid the middle of the city, which would have created all kinds of problems. Wiser minds prevailed and talked him into lending his name (and later his sarcophagus) to a new astronomical observatory that would help enshrine his memory for a long time given all of the discoveries it would make. He acceded, and so Lick Observatory came to be.

Donald Trump seems as though he'd be impervious to arguments of this kind. He prefers big and he likes tacky. He surrounds himself with advisors who will nod along to all his whims and serve as mere underlings he can dress down, also at whim. He has never read "Ozymandias" and thus thinks he'll be remembered forever. It's the smallness of his conceptions - exemplified most recently by his attempting to honor 250 years of the world's longest surviving democracy by celebrating with a mere "state fair" - in a place where people have no state and no representative.