Trump Is Once Again Very Sad About All The Entirely Legal Post-Birth Abortions
Well, if they're legal ...
I could be wrong, but I absolutely believe that Trump started this whole “abortion up until the moment of birth” thing by mistake during one of the 2016 debates, and everyone just had to go along with him and pretend it was real like they do about every other bit of nonsense he comes up with. Like how he’s insisted for at least the last five years that you need an ID to buy regular groceries and somehow no one has corrected him on this.
I can honestly say that I never heard anyone claim that until he did, and I’ve spent a whole lot of years writing about the wackier pro-life people. Though it’s always possible it’s just not an act they took on the road.
Ever since he misunderstood Ralph Northam’s explanation of what happens when someone gives birth to a baby that isn’t going to survive, he’s also insisted that post-birth abortions are definitely legal, which they are obviously not.
And, at his rally yesterday, he did it again.
“If it’s after the 9th month and the baby was born you put the baby aside,” he explained. “You discuss with the mother and if the mother doesn’t want the baby we execute the baby. This is part of their thing.”
Oh yeah, that’s just part of our thing. Just a normal thing that happens in normal hospitals with perfectly healthy babies.
Not only that, it happens in the same cinematic universe in which we are still sending people to prison for “shaken baby syndrome” despite the fact that we’ve known for years that that’s not a thing.
It just all makes too much sense.
It would be nice to believe that people don’t actually believe it, but I think we have to accept at this point that there is pretty much nothing that people won’t believe.
Nobody is killing babies after birth. We use a combination of 5G, genetic manipulation, and ancient Babylonian rituals to turn them into cats.
I like cats.
Listen, there's a lot- a lotta people saying "oh this isn't you know this is false, it's fake news" but that is the fake news actually, that I will tell you. You wanna know how I know? I have this one guy, you mighta seen him, shouts a lot. Has a beard instead of a chin, I don't know, he's dating some broad who looks like his stepmother I don't know what to tell ya. Can't remember his name. He's at Mar A Lago a lot, and I mean a lot! But years ago, and I remember this probably better than anybody, great, great memoring, mezmoring, whatever the hell you wanna call it- it's the tops, okay? One day me and his mother we said, you know, he's just not working out for us. So we asked the doctor, great guy, big guy, looked like he could play football, right outta central casting, we said "look, doc, you gotta do something- this kid's doing nothing for us" and the doctor said "have you tried abandoning him?" And that's just it's a politically correct way to say, you know [mimes knife across the throat] but you do it in nature, so it's more scenic I guess. So we tried. We got the permission and we left him out on the beautiful and very powerful green at Trump Bedminster, or what would be the very beautiful and powerful green, I didn't own it at the time, and... you know. Raised by a couple a shepherds I heard.