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ShrillKitty's avatar

Nobody is killing babies after birth. We use a combination of 5G, genetic manipulation, and ancient Babylonian rituals to turn them into cats.

I like cats.

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Daniel's avatar

Listen, there's a lot- a lotta people saying "oh this isn't you know this is false, it's fake news" but that is the fake news actually, that I will tell you. You wanna know how I know? I have this one guy, you mighta seen him, shouts a lot. Has a beard instead of a chin, I don't know, he's dating some broad who looks like his stepmother I don't know what to tell ya. Can't remember his name. He's at Mar A Lago a lot, and I mean a lot! But years ago, and I remember this probably better than anybody, great, great memoring, mezmoring, whatever the hell you wanna call it- it's the tops, okay? One day me and his mother we said, you know, he's just not working out for us. So we asked the doctor, great guy, big guy, looked like he could play football, right outta central casting, we said "look, doc, you gotta do something- this kid's doing nothing for us" and the doctor said "have you tried abandoning him?" And that's just it's a politically correct way to say, you know [mimes knife across the throat] but you do it in nature, so it's more scenic I guess. So we tried. We got the permission and we left him out on the beautiful and very powerful green at Trump Bedminster, or what would be the very beautiful and powerful green, I didn't own it at the time, and... you know. Raised by a couple a shepherds I heard.

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