406 Comments
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Tessie's avatar

Hell, Dick Cheney all by himself could luigi T***p, and he's a hundred years old and also on his fourteenth heart transplant.

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Tessie's avatar

Thanksgiving dinner at the Cheney household:

Liz: Dad, that orange guy is threatening me.

Dick: Don't worry about it dear. He was just joking. I have to go run an errand now.

*leaves*

`

A month later, T***p is "Ivanaed" while Dick is at Haliburton Christmas party surrounded by 50 other guests.

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Tessie's avatar

Literally no one thinks T***p can correctly spell "egregious".

Or, for that matter, pronounce it.

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Major Is My Spirit Animal's avatar

Fortunately PAB doesn't know about Wonkette, otherwise he'd want to sue all of us as well.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

We're going to be seeing naked pictures of Liz Cheney in a committee hearing, aren't we?

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Tessie's avatar

NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO LOOK, DANIEL!

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

It's just that Marjorie Taylor Asshole can't help herself.

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Dianna Deem's avatar

Watching that video reminds me that these Magats understand patriotism about as well as they understand Christianity. Also too, is it really such a smart idea to go after Darth Cheney's little girl? The man shot his friend in the face!

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Robert  Taylor's avatar

Hard to believe Insurrectionists are still in Congress!

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beb's avatar

Read a fascinating account of how the DOJ completely stonewalled the House Ethics committee's investigation of Gaetz. Someone really did not want him prosecuted for obvious crimes.

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"M"'s avatar

Elon's Opposition to Government Spending Bill a Smokescreen for His Business Interests

(we all knew that, right?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8zBKf9o85c

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mzf's avatar

Unfortunately, too many things from Amy Goodman are suspect and tainted by her extreme positions. I don't doubt that Elong puts his own interests first, but that's just obvious.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

"Jesus and God --same guy? sure -- Jesus and God tells me 'the way to Greenland is through Cheney' so it's outta my hands this thing."

-- Sir

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Bitter Scribe's avatar

Remember when, right after Cassidy Hutchinson testified, the big rightie buzz was that Secret Service agents were all ready to charge up Capitol Hill and refute her testimony? Jesse Watters at Fox News got all excited about this, saying repeatedly that he would trust the word of veteran SS agents over "some girl."

Well, guess what...those agents must have got lost on the way to the Capitol, because there's been no sign of them to this day.

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art3m1s's avatar

they were busy scrubbing their phones

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Hank Napkin's avatar

"In two weeks..."

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

None of this is normal, all of it expected.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Cut Sir some slack -- way, way more voices in his head this time around than last.

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"M"'s avatar

Expected by those of us who were not in denial, anyway

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Sojourner Truth's avatar

<giantwankingmotion.gif>

from the LOLreport:

---

I accepted this assignment on two conditions; that I have the autonomy and resources needed to

effectively pursue the facts without political bias or outside influence, and that I have the

authority to report whatever we find to the American people.

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Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

When trump's fantasies come to fruition, it will be amusing to watch the "press." When Cheney is arrested, they will expound on all the reasons trump thinks she should be jailed. They will sanewash the shit out of it. When trump has Garrett Haake from NBC hauled off from a press conference, they will be shocked and appalled. Their reporting will be hysterical about how unconstitutional it is. But eventually they'll bow even deeper and write stories about how handsome he is. And nobody will ever ask the question about the crimes they didn't commit.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Personally, I would think twice and then think again before Dicking around with a Cheney...

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Todd A Raffensperger's avatar

Maybe her dad will invite Trump to go on a hunting trip to iron things out.

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LoCoJo's avatar

"...how she might feel when the guns are trained on her face."

Well, since she has her dad's 1000 year old vampire blood in her veins, I imagine if put in front of a firing squad, she'd smoke a whole filterless cigarette in one drag then laugh as she was shot.

We already know how you would react, Donny. You'd pop up with your "defiance fist" only because you were surrounded by security, then you would whine about how you need to get your shoes because you're terrified someone will find out you wear lifts.

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Tessie's avatar

Imagine being such a chronic and pathological liar that you get s**t in front of a crowd, and literally everyone's first go-to is "Fake" or "Staged".

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fuflans's avatar

i want this movie so goddamn badly.

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"M"'s avatar

Remember when he jumped when that eagle landed on his desk??

Coward coward coward

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Remember when someone rushed the stage at a 2016 rally, and he took off for the Secret Service so fast he left a Roadrunner-style vapor trail?

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Stan Dan Deliver's avatar

"Wait, wait, WAIT! MY SHOES!" should be the caption on all those stupid "Fight!" photos.

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