Trump super-lawyer Alina Habba was on some wingnut podcast or other on Thursday, who the hell can even keep track anymore, these things flare up more often than herpes, and she managed for once in her miserable career representing former President Oompa Loompa to say something vaguely honest.
One of the hosts of the PBD Podcast asked Habba if Trump had hired her because she’s hot. (Obviously the answer is “Yes” because Trump is famous for hiring people based on their looks.)
After some babbling about how yes, she doesn’t mind using her looks to get attention, Habba added:
“Somebody said to me, 'Alina would you rather be smart or pretty,' and I said, 'Oh easy, pretty. I can fake being smart.'”
Okay! When does she plan on starting to fake being smart? Because she does a lot of dumb stuff that leaves even halfway competent lawyers scratching their heads.
For instance, just a few hours after she recorded that podcast, Habba was on national TV telling the Supreme Court to honor an implicit quid pro quo with her client.
Habba was appearing on Sean Hannity’s show to discuss the recent ruling by Colorado’s supreme court that Trump should be left off the upcoming GOP primary ballot due to having done an insurrection, which the Constitution pretty clearly says is a no-no for officeholders. Trump has appealed to SCOTUS, but he’s reportedly nervous that the Court will rule against him.
Habba, however, has quite the solution — she called out SCOTUS, specifically Justice Barf O’Kavanaugh, and more or less said hey, Spanky, you owe Mr. Trump one:
“You know people like Kavanaugh ― who the president fought for, who the president went through hell to get into place ― he’ll step up,” she said. “Those people will step up. Not because they’re pro-Trump but because they’re pro-law. Because they’re pro-fairness, and the law on this is very clear.”
Hear that, Mr. I Like Beer? Trump defended your whiny ass to make your career goal of reaching the Supreme Court happen, and now it’s time to return the favor, lest you wake up one morning and find a bloodied six-iron in your bed.
In the wake of the Dobbs leak, it’s neat that everyone apparently thinks they can lean on Supreme Court justices to get what they want like they are common Ukrainian presidents or something. Really helping with the Supreme Court’s whole credibility problem at a time when only something like a little over a third of the country thinks its decisions are on the up-and-up.
This was not the first time Habba has tried to fake being smart, only to trip over herself and land on her attractive-but-dumb ass.
A DIFFERENT TIME!
There was the time very recently when Habba got sued for allegedly pretending to be representing a Trump Bedminster employee suing the club for sexual harassment. The employee claims now that Habba was secretly representing Trump and trying to steer her into a cheap settlement. This is what is known in legal circles as “being so unethical and corrupt that even Saul Goodman would be appalled.”
There was also the time she went on TV to snarl that the Department of Justice was unfairly charging Trump with the “mundane” crime of “espionage.”
Then there was the very fun time when Trump could not have a jury hear his civil fraud trial in New York because his incredibly smart lawyer Alina Habba forgot to check a box on a form requesting one.
AND ANOTHER!
There was the nuisance RICO suit where Trump sued like half of America for claiming he had colluded with Russia to win the 2016 election, just because multiple government investigations found that he colluded with Russia to win the 2016 election. A judge dismissed that suit — out of a cannon into the sun — before fining Habba and her client a million dollars for abusing the court system by filing frivolous lawsuits. Not that that has stopped them, of course.
THIS OTHER TIME TOO!
Seriously, the woman has not only lost just about every legal action she’s brought on Trump’s behalf the last three years, but she has had multiple judges in multiple jurisdictions absolutely eviscerate her arguments for being really, really, really fucking stupid.
In summation, Alina Habba is not faking the whole stupidity thing.
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You can only fake being smart to people dumber than you are. I guess she's not smart enough to understand that.
Back when I was prepping for the bar exam, one of our prep instructors advised us thusly:
"Every one of you knows at least one lawyer who is a complete idiot. I want you to write that person's name on a whole bunch of Post-Its and put them all over your house. If that moron can pass the bar, so can you!"
That was long before the age of TFG, which is why my home was not fully wallpapered in Post-Its.