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Oh No, Is Jesus Also On Trial For Inflating The Value Of His Properties By Billions? How Embarrassing.
You wouldn't think Jesus would pull shit like that.
Wonkette had an update yesterday on how the first day of Donald Trump’s civil trial in Manhattan went from a legal perspective. Now let’s look and see how it went from a Trump perspective.
Here is Trump sharing on his Twitter knockoff Truth Social website a meme from a crazy person that appears to depict either 1) Donald Trump and Kenny Loggins Had A Rough Day or 2) Donald Trump and Ted Nugent Looks Better Than usual or 3) Donald Trump and his lawyer Alina Habba REALLY had a bad day or 4) Donald Trump and Super Ugly Jesus.
LOL OK. Did Jesus lie about the value of his properties too? Does Jesus have low self esteem and daddy issues, which cause him to ask his personal fixers to inflate the values of his properties so He’ll show up higher in the Forbes lists of rich people? Because prosecutors showed video of Michael Cohen’s deposition yesterday where he said that’s exactly what Trump did.
But seriously, goddang, we cannot get over how that is the ugliest depiction of Jesus we have ever seen. It’s like it’s uglified because it would be unfair to have a normal-looking Jesus next to Trump, since the Trump family is so grotesquely uggo.
JoeMyGod explains that the “Dom Lucre” account on Twitter that shared the picture/meme is “one of Twitter’s most notorious and has spread every batshit/QAnon/far-right conspiracy claim you could think of.” So that tracks with the apparent condition of Trump’s brain.
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For a real image of Trump in court, next to Decidedly Not Jesus, here is video shared by Aaron Rupar of Trump and his super dumbfuck lawyer Alina Habba, scowling.
Trump had earlier bitched and whined that he had been “not even allowed” to have a jury trial. It’s worth reminding the audience that this is because that idiot next to him Habba forgot to ask for one. As never-Trumper pundit Rick Wilson said on Twitter yesterday, Trump’s lawyers are “low-tier goons who couldn't get you off of a traffic ticket. They’re going to cost you Trump Tower. PLEASE don’t fire them.”
We hope God’s listening, and we mean the real God, and not the hairy creepy cult leader/’70s porn star in that meme above.
The other biggest news of the trial is that Trump apparently called McDonalds — or more likely made Habba or another minion do it — to order a bunch of hamberders for himself and his people for lunch, just like he did for those Clemson college football players back in the day. TMZ got footage of the Trump idiots with the big McDonalds bags.
The fake news reminds us that the Clemson hamberder event happened during Trump’s government shutdown of 2018 and 2019. So that was almost a parallel, except for how Kevin McCarthy caved at the last minute this time.
So that’s cool. Just Trump, ugly porn Jesus, a bunch of hamberders, and the dumbest goddamn lawyers on the planet.
Sounds like the day he deserved to have.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.