Good Morning, Donald! Let's Read About The Mar-A-Lago Witness Who's Telling The Feds EVERTHANG

A person is telling the FBI Donald Trump personally directed them to move Mar-a-Lago boxes to his residence after they were subpoenaed. That's big, right?

This is game over, right? We just have to watch the rest play out, but there's now absolutely zero question that Donald Trump will be indicted and will go to prison for his scheme to steal America's secrets, in order to use them for (???) purposes, right? RIGHT?

We may have gotten ahead of ourselves and forgot in our excitement to tell you the news. The Washington Post   (gift link!) hit with the scoop last night that, according to a member of Trump's own staff who has now squealed to the FBI, Trump personally directed them to move boxes of stolen classified documents from the Mar-a-Lago basement up to the residence, AFTER he got a subpoena for them.

That's game over, right? We just have to let the rest of the pieces fall into place, and wait for America's finest orange jumpsuit craftsmen to figure out how to make one with such a weird big butt?

There are so many fun things about this. For instance that somebody flipped like a popular nostalgic TV bottlenose dolphin. That this is all on security cam footage. That people are now telling the Washington Post about it. Has everybody in Mar-a-Lago realized they better start flapping their yaps, because last one to do so is a rotten egg whose prison nickname will be "45"?

A Trump employee has told federal agents about moving boxes of documents at Mar-a-Lago at the specific direction of the former president, according to people familiar with the investigation, who say the witness account — combined with security-camera footage — offers key evidence of Donald Trump’s behavior as investigators sought the return of classified material.

The timeline is this: Back in May, they got the subpoena. Trump told people to move docs out of the basement up into his private quarters (out of sight, out of the Deep State's mind?). Timeline finished! Description of crime easy!

Trump's paid idiots are responding with the same idiot line they're paid to deliver, like paid idiots:

“The Biden administration has weaponized law enforcement and fabricated a Document Hoax in a desperate attempt to retain political power,” [Trump spox Taylor] Budowich said in a statement. “Every other President has been given time and deference regarding the administration of documents, as the President has the ultimate authority to categorize records, and what materials should be classified.”

Derp derp derp derp, paid idiot. Good job reading your line! It's a "Document Hoax!" Joe Biden did it to keep power! Presidents gets to "categorize records!" (LOLOL, they do not get to "categorize" America's secrets that they stuck under their armpits and stole as they waddled away from the White House forever.)

Please also tell us more about how Trump also definitely declassified all the documents the FBI planted as part of the document hoax, and did it with his brain! 

Oh wait, Budowich is not done babbling:

Budowich accused the Justice Department of a “continued effort to leak misleading and false information to partisan allies in the Fake News,” and said that to do so “is nothing more than dangerous political interference and unequal justice. Simply put, it’s un-American.”

Babble babble babble! What a Babbling Beauregard!

Anyway, so it sounds like the Trump employee who flipped and is squealing the truth is a cooperating witness, and they've talked to the feds "multiple times." The first time, they lied. The second time, their story about touching the boxes at Donald Trump's personal direction for the purpose of hiding them in his office or his bedroom or in Melania's underpants drawer "changed dramatically."

It sounds   like the person in the Post report has been squealing since before the Mar-a-Lago raid, and was part of why the raid happened, when combined with the security footage. Unless we are interpreting "Together, those pieces of evidence helped convince the FBI and Justice Department to seek the court-authorized search of Trump’s residence, office and a storage room at Mar-a-Lago" incorrectly.

And now:

The witness is now considered a key part of the Mar-a-Lago investigation, these people said, offering details about the former president’s alleged actions and instructions to subordinates that could have been an attempt to thwart federal officials’ demands for the return of classified and government documents.

You know what they say: First flipper gets best ... something that rhymes with flipper, probably! Just kidding, it is "first to squeal gets the best deal," we know all traditions about expressions prosecutors use in mafia-type investigations. (Nothing good rhymes with "flipper.")

For the record, we should note that Maggie Haberman has her own reporting where she's naming names of a person caught on security cam footage moving boxes and says the person she names is not "officially" cooperating, but is indeed answering questions. She also says it's not clear this is the same person the Post is talking about, but that they have also been talking since before the raid.

Anyway, the Post emphasizes that "multiple witnesses" tried to tell Trump to cooperate with requests and subpoenas, but the fucker wouldn't listen. He's a very stupid man. He thinks they are "my documents."

Read the full WaPo, it is a doozy, and gets very detailed with timelines and whatnot. Hey, did y'all see a week ago where the news said the Department of Justice still is pretty sure Trump hasn't returned all of America's secrets he stole like a literal actual fucking traitor?

We doubt we will see much public movement on this before the midterms, but we are starting to think November is going to be fucking crazy.

[ Washington Post ]

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