Trump Not Into Golden Showers, So Happy Thanksgiving Week About That!

He's babbling about this unprompted, but Joe Biden is too old.

Nov 20, 2023

If there is one thing America was wondering as they hustled and bustled around this weekend, maybe doing some Thanksgiving shopping or buying War On Christmas lights, it’s probably “Hey, does Donald Trump like to get peed on?”

Why? No reason. Maybe America was just thinking about it.

Sensing that, Donald Trump decided to babble about it this weekend during a rally in Fort Dodge, Iowa. You know, in case any of us had forgotten about that in the last couple years, if it had slipped our minds that there was a whole unproven allegation in the Steele Dossier that said that in 2013, Trump went to Moscow for the Miss Universe pageant and, in a room at the Ritz-Carlton, got some nice sex workers to get on the bed where the Obamas had once stayed and do a wee-wee show.

“‘He was with four hookers’ — you think that was good that night to go up and tell my wife? ‘It’s not true darling, I love you very much, it’s not true,’” Mr Trump said.
“Actually, that one she didn’t believe because she said he’s a germaphobe, he’s not into that, you know. He’s not into golden showers as they say.”

“He was with four hookers.” He hated to tell Melania that part.

But actually she didn’t believe “that one,” Trump says, because she’s well aware he’s a germaphobe. “He’s not into golden showers as they say,” according to Trump’s recounting of which sex things Melania believes about him.

Trump added: “I don’t like that idea. No, I thought that would be a big problem, I was gonna have a rough night, but that one she was very good on, she said no.”

We guess she totally believes other allegations about him, as long as they don’t involve pee.

Was anyone talking about this? Had there been new pee tape rumors? Or is Donald Trump just putting the mental image in all our heads? The Independent explains that last November Trump told the story, and that also in that case, an important plot point for him was that Melania didn’t believe that thing about him. “I know that’s not your thing,” said Melania in the story, about the pee story.

Elsewhere in the same rally, Trump bragged that the leader of the Taliban called him “your excellency,” and said he bets the leader of the Taliban doesn’t call Joe Biden “your excellency.” And of course he fawned all over Xi Jinping and Vladimir Putin, like he does.

So that’s cool.

In other news, today is Joe Biden’s 81st birthday, and Nate Silver would like to remind us that “the voters” think he is too old to be president, but Donald Trump is only 77, which Silver says is a “nontrivial” difference.

So we guess it’s just totally normal that Trump is yapping like a deranged nitwit, unprompted, about long ago pee tape allegations.

But by God if Joe Biden so much as stumbles on a word while he’s pardoning that damned turkey today …

[Independent / video via Acyn]