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DemoCat's avatar

It must absolutely suck to be Melonia. As I typed that obvious sentence, the name Melonia sounded like a health condition to me. She came down with a severe case of Melonia when she agreed to marry Donald Trump. Melonia could easily divorce that walking pathogen. She would surely have choices of suitors who she could share her life with who would want to embrace life and be adventurous and bring joy. Instead, she has to deal with him, his constant legal battles and grievances and rage and attention seeking and rallies and lies and grubby sycophants feeding his bullshit. She would surely be entitled to a massive divorce settlement, not that she’d need it. She could write a tell-all book to gross everyone out and it would sell millions. So what keeps her in that marriage? It’s puzzling.

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

TBF, I understand urine is one of the cleanest things to come out of the body, having been filtered by the kidneys. For those of you who might be planning on drinking it to survive in the desert though, recent studies do show a small amount of natural bacteria which live in the bladder…

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. It's a confession. It happened.

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BECKY's avatar

Does anyone really think he gives a flying flip what the little woman thinks about anything? And he thinks his little stories are so endearing to his adoring public. They might be but to the thinking world he shows he's an idiot every time he opens his mouth.

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

“The thinking world” is not his voters. He doesn’t give a flying fuck about anyone who doesn’t benefit him.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

Adlai Stevenson gave a campaign speech and afterwards a woman said to him "You'll have the vote of every thinking person in this country!"

"Too bad I need a majority" he ruefully replied.

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Shire Jansen's avatar

That pesky little detail about unprotected sex with an adult film star in '06 kinda blows his germaphobe cover into Stormy waters, along with 2 of the first born (to different women) being conceived out of wedlock which indicates a pattern of unprotected sex.

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

yeah - he's not being elected for his morals, intelligence or ability to get shit done

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marxalot's avatar

I mean, the idea that he hired some sex workers to do the grossest, most degrading thing he could think of, specifically to a bed Obama had slept in, as a means of defiling it, is entirely in keeping with what has been publicly known about him for decades. I never thought he would be in the show, so to speak, but the rest of it is fully plausible. Absolutely he would hire someone to piss on the Black guy's bed, even if he had only ever slept there once. We're lucky he didn't have anyone "assert dominance" over the Lincoln bedroom.

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DemoCat's avatar

Totally fits his personality. Obama slept in that bed? I’ll hire hookers to piss on it. And he can’t stop talking about it. I think a lot of people have some very colorful stories they can confirm or reveal, but won’t while he’s alive for fear of reprisals from his crazy cult. But after he’s gone, and the cult finds some other weird obsession, some surprising things will undoubtedly be revealed. Maybe Melonia will reveal the real reason she hasn’t divorced his filthy ass.

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Jules's avatar

I'd even believe he screwed at LEAST one of them in that bed before having them pee in it, and when done, retired to a room down the hall for some early morning tweeting.

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superdave's avatar

Yup, the rumored story wasn't about Donald getting peed on. So him being a germaphobe does not contradict the story.

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DJ Teetop's avatar

Nothing confirms like denial

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oscarphile's avatar

No doubt a battle-scarred Marine walked up to him in an airport, tears in his eyes, saluted, and said "I know that’s not your thing, Sir."

(apologies to anyone who's already made this joke)

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The Wanderer's avatar

I'm glad he's not into WS. I don't have to amend my list now.

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Cyderist's avatar

(Me typing the question "Wait. What list?" and then deleting.)

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The Wanderer's avatar

(slow grin)

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gratuitous's avatar

I wonder if there will be copious hand-wringing about "Oh what will we tell the children?" if the major media decide to cover this bizarre ranting by the defendant? So many reporters and outlets fretted about how to explain oral sex to the young-uns during the Clinton-Lewinsky episode, which just compounded everyone's guilt. How are they going to cover the defendant's unsolicited outburst? Or will they?

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Spleen Victoria's avatar

Yes, where are all the handwringers now who are concerned about having to explain gay people, transgender people and drag queens to “the children”? It’s fine to explain what a golden shower is but a gay person is a bridge too far?

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Rhiannon's avatar

I'm sorry, why is 77 to 81 such an important difference? I'm old enough to know that 57 to 61 was not particularly transformational. Except for ageism...oh yeah.

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Tessie's avatar

Me: I just don't have the stamina I had when I was 20.

My sister: Shit, I don't have the stamina I had when I was 40.

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

At 57 I don’t have the stamina I had at 50…but I’m pretty sure I’ve still got the same mental acuity to launch a civilization-destroying nuclear strike that I ever had.

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Tessie's avatar

"you think that was good that night to go up and tell my wife?"

`

The same wife he was showing off to the Australian guy?

"Mr. Pratt also describes on the recording how Mr. Trump asked his wife, Melania, to strut around Mar-a-Lago in her bikini “so all the other guys could get a look at what they were missing.”

`

Would it be asking too much of PAB to make up what passes for his mind?

Is Melanie a modern day June Cleaver who must be shielded from naughty words and impropriety, or is she a trophy piece of ass to be ogled?

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Amanda Mitchell's avatar

How is Nate Silver even considered a legitimate journalist?

Also, Trump only mentioned it because he is still irritated that a golden shower was not the gaudy extravagance he is used to.

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Bigby's avatar

He’s trying to get out ahead of it, to flood the zone with pee. It was only 2 pee hookers so if something drops his fuckfaced minions can scream “2? 4? make up your minds, libturds! Must be fake news, nothing to see here, move along”.

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GiggleSnort's avatar

I'm still kind of boggled by hearing POTUS and "Russian pee hookers" in the same sentence. Steele did not regard it as something he had verified to be true. But it sure sounds like spiteful Lil' Donnie.

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Darth Trad's avatar

For an event that never happened, he's awfully specific about details.

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