524 Comments
User's avatar
Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I've said it before. I guess I'll have to say it again. Weld the entrance to the bunker shut, change the wifi password, fuck him.

irish379's avatar

six levels sub-grade? between the construction specs, engineering, and security, it'll be 2years before anything is built above ground

let me just add calling this fucking guy a moron, is an insult to morons

Kirsty Gnome #squatting's avatar

He said it’s drone-proof, yet he managed to drone for 45 minutes.

beb's avatar

On reading scipture, what so hard about reading "And Aaron begat Seth, who begat Jacob, who begat Ham, who lived to 865 years, who begat Cheeze, who begat Eggs, who begat.... It;s not like Sharespeare!

beb's avatar

What funny about Religion stopping crime is all the pastors and Youth Leaders arrested for sexual assault on minors. Apparently the fear of god isn't that helpful.

eo's avatar

When describing his future bunker, Trump forgot to add "Nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely. Greenhouses could maintain plant life. Animals could be bred and slaughtered."

Angryoldman's avatar

You have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.

Omar's avatar

“Trump didn’t elaborate on any scenarios that would require the use of drones over the capital city.” I can think of a few, all related to fascism.

Pig Bodine's avatar

TRUMP: I did Scripture. You think it’s easy to read Scripture? It’s not easy to read Scripture! It makes your tongue catch on fire and your hoofs start to swell.

Pig Bodine's avatar

Trump: It's built for snipers.

Melania: [interrupting] And look at the windows. So big. A lot of big windows. Wink [tries to wink].

Enter Ranting's avatar

They're building six stories down into a swamp? Smart.

eo's avatar

The Deep State Swamp they promised to drain?

"M"'s avatar

These are, as I once heard a friend say, not the sharpest knives in the drawer

I've also heard any actual building they may be doing may be limited

I feel like I heard something not long after they knocked it down and the records about the grift started coming out that the architects' professional association (kind of like the ABA, but with teeth they're actually willing to use) stepped in and told its membership "Don't even think about going anywhere near that 'project'if you want to keep your license"

Beelzebub Griddlecake's avatar

The roof

The roof

The roof is on fire

We don't need no water

Because our anti-drone weapons exploded and we don't have a hose and the munitions in those fuckers cannot be extinguised with water anyway and we got rid of all the fire departments because it was a waste of taxpayer money to have a bunch of guys sitting around just in case something went wrong I'm sure the free market will take care of this for us at a much better rate

It doesn't have a beat and you can't dance to it, but it is a great look into our future.

HoldOnOldChap's avatar

One thing that makes drones an effective weapon is that their distributed deployment makes them hard to attack. Putting a bunch of them in a "drone port" pretty much guarantees that it will be hit in the first strike.

Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

Most of our combat drone pilots are holed up at Creech AFB north of Las Vegas. I wonder if he'll try to bring those folks to DC instead?

Hello_who_dis's avatar

I told you we'd need a block and tackle to get his ass out of there.

He's building a monument to himself. With a tomb.

eo's avatar

The Arc de Trumpf will be his tomb.

dental floss tycoon's avatar

it’s almost as if the great pharaohs of egypt have inspired him, maybe he can take it with him … the ordeal begins november 8th, 2029 when plans to remove him from the WH take shape …

Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

In my vision, he doesn't live that long. Because cholesterol.

Rad's avatar

Holy fucking shit, he's still alive. I am so over all of this... massive... corruption... fraud... reign of terror.

Enter Ranting's avatar

We were so close in Butler, Pennsylvania…

Rad's avatar

In the works of Maxwell Smart, "Missed him by that much". Christ! When I was a kid, we were inspired by "Matt Dillon" (James Arness on "Gunsmoke") who could shoot a tin can from 100 yards away! WTF is the inspiration for today's generation? Star Wars Storm Troopers who can't shoot a wall from 8 feet!?!?!

Zarquon's avatar

If he occupies his great, impregnable fort that's so heavily defended that we can't get him out, won't the easiest thing be to just seal him in? Just lock him in, along with JD, Lil Marco, Moses Johnson, etc. Like some collection of weird curiosities at the zoo?

VwllssWndr's avatar

A pharaoh in his pyramid.

"M"'s avatar

That's ... like ... let's not bring that back, not even as a metaphor