Trump Promises To Turn America's Schools Into Old-Timey Sanatoriums
Trump Promises To Turn America's Schools Into Old-Timey Sanatoriums
Your kids can now dodge bullets and measles in equal measure before math class.
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Yes, outbreaks of previously eradicated diseases are just one of the cherries you can plunk down atop the shit sundae that will be a second Donald Trump presidency, as he himself promised in a speech in Richmond, Virginia, this weekend. (Unfortunately the video can only be played on YouTube.)
“And I will not give one penny to any school that has a vaccine mandate or a mask mandate.”
Any school with a vaccine mandate? Because that would be damn near every school in America, with the possible exception of the Moms for Liberty Bible-Readin’ and Whooping Cough Academy we told you about a few weeks ago.
It’s hilarious that Trump is making such a pledge at the same time we’re getting news reports like this out of two separate states:
Both the [measles] outbreaks in Broward County, Florida, and Philadelphia made news after children brought the disease into the wider community. Six children grew sick at Manatee Bay elementary in Florida, and nine in Philadelphia after a child went to a daycare while infected.
First off, if Quinta Brunson is reading this, we have a script for an episode of “Abbott Elementary” for you. We’ll have our agent give you a ring. Actually, we’ll get an agent, then have that agent give you a ring.
Second, this isn’t really up to Trump. Congress writes the budget bills. If Congress says no, we’re not pulling Department of Education funding from Plague J. Plague-arama Middle School because it followed its state laws and common sense and made all its students get an MMR vaccine, then President Brainworms will sign whatever budget bill covers it. He’s free to then go impotently whine on Truth Social about the whole situation, we don’t care, we don’t have an account at his online Nazi clubhouse.
The situation in Florida brings new attention to the state’s surgeon general, Joseph Ladapo, a right-wing hack appointed to the position two years ago by old Smilin’ Ron DeSantis, who was busy at the time turning his state into a laboratory for all sorts of MAGA-themed policies. Most of those policies with regard to both public health and education could be summed up by the slogan “DRRRRR PARENTS FREEDOM DRRRRRRRRRRR.”
Ladapo sent parents in the Broward County school district (home of Manatee Bay Elementary) a letter in which he said, basically, parents should use their own judgment about whether to send their at-risk kids to school. For crying out loud, does he not know what state he’s in? That’s like dangling raw meat in front of an alligator and telling him he can’t have any until he cleans his room:
Ladapo’s advice deferring to parents or guardians a decision about school attendance directly contradicts the official recommendation of the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which calls for a 21-day period of quarantine for anybody without a history of prior infection or immunization.
Measles was wiped out in America a quarter century ago. Apparently Ladapo’s attitude toward a measles vaccine is the same logic the Supreme Court used to gut the Voting Rights Act: the VRA put a stop to racially motivated voter suppression, so we can get rid of it and just assume everything’s cool now and everyone learned their lesson.
It is also in keeping with Ladapo’s previous maverick proclamations about vaccines that health professionals say pose an unacceptable danger to the health of Florida residents. They include official guidance to shun mRNA Covid-19 boosters based on easily disprovable conspiracy theories that the shots alter human DNA and can potentially cause cancer.
Florida’s Department of Health later tried to clarify that it was all the media’s fault for lying about what Ladapo said, saying in a statement that “In reality, [Ladapo] has used available data and immunity rates to drive policy decisions impacting Manatee Bay Elementary.”
Right, that’s the problem: Ladapo used that data and immunity rates to reach the exact opposite conclusion of what the CDC and decades and decades of education and experience tell us is the correct one.
We were wondering if at some point this week, some Trump flunky will claim that President Orange Peel was just talking about the COVID vaccine, the rapid development and deployment of which was probably the one decent policy his administration was ever able to execute. But nah, instead of admitting he was unclear about something, maybe his people will probably write “bring back polio” into the Republican platform at this summer’s convention.
[YouTube / Guardian / Guardian]
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I've had the polio vaccine, but the way these assholes are going, we may end up with a vaccine-resistant variant.
That being said, if I get infected, please, don't put me in an iron lung designed by Elon Musk, no matter how cool he thinks it looks.
When I was a kid, there were still lots of old people around who had survived polio. It wasn't unusual to see people with metal braces on their limbs, clumsily making their way down the aisles of grocery stores. It was a common sight. I was told that these were the lucky ones.